Two Lost Souls
by Natfanfirst
Summary: AU John and Natalie become friends in AC but circumstances pull them apart. Will their meeting after 5 years apart bring them the love they both deserve?
1. Chapter 1

**This is an A/U fic, they are so addicting! All questions will be answered in the first few Ch's**

**A/N: ABC owns them**

**Two Lost Souls**

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**Chapter 1**

_Atlantic City_

Natalie Balsom walked into the crowded bar as if she belonged, belonged in a place like this, was old enough to be in a place like this, acting as if she was even old enough to drink in a place like this, hell, she knew how to handle herself in these places, in bars and even in Strip clubs, she was raised in them, these places where Men sat and either drank themselves dumb or even made themselves blind from watching to much. These types of places were where she was in her element.

Her element of having a few drinks without anyone carding her, shooting some pool, coning a few drunk perverts out of their last dollars, yeah, she was definitely in her element as she looked around the crowded bar.

She purposely moved slowly across the room towards the pool table as she watched the roving eye's of men checking her up and down, the black tight tee shirt was definitely a must when trying to set up the con, trying to get a bite so to speak, trying to get all the heads turning. Although she was barely eighteen, she looked much older, her body was developed in places women paid surgeons big money to have, and she knew it, she flaunted it, she used it, used it for her next score, to find her next chump.

Natalie approached the pool table and she put on her Innocent stare studying the pool table looking at all the pretty colored balls, she touched one carefully, picked it up. She heard someone clear their throat behind her and she knew she had a live one. She smiled a smile of satisfaction as she turned innocently.

"I'm sorry, were you using this table?' she asked as the man checked out her package, with a sly grin, he spoke.

"Not yet I wasn't, wanna play?" Natty had him, she reeled him in.

"Pool? I don't know how to, I've always wanted to learn"

"Well then it's your lucky day, let me buy you a drink and I can teach you"

"Really? Thank you, that would be great, it would really make my day lucky" she said sweet and Naive and as her brain was thinking 'sucker'

John Mcbain sat at the bar having a few drinks before heading home for the night, he made Detective tonight and he felt like celebrating but there was no one to celebrate with, no one even to tell of the terrific job he did to get him to detective so fast and how making detective so quickly would only further his shot at getting excepted to the FBI training program at Quantico.

John got himself up off the stool, paid his tab and started walking towards the door of the bar when he heard such a laugh that sent shivers down his spine. He looked towards the noise and over by the pool table was the most intriguing looking red head he had ever seen. John stopped in his tracks and found a near by table, he sat and watched as the red head moved around the table shyly, almost hesitantly, as if she didn't know what she was doing.

"Am I doing this right?" Natalie asked Joe her latest chump

"No, like this" Joe said as he leaned over her body as she leaned over her stick

"Now pull the stick back and then hit" he told her getting himself all excited by being so near to her, Natalie gave him a slight chuckle and she just glanced past the table for a minute and notice a dark haired man staring at her, she was shaken a bit, taken off guard s she locked blue eye's with the man, she lost all train of thought for a few minutes and then refocused herself on the con, on her chump.

"So, what is it about this game that is so much fun, I'm still not getting it"

"It's actually more fun if you play for something?"

"Something? Like what?" Natalie told Joe the chump

John smiled as he ease dropped to their conversation, she was setting him up, this poor guy was falling for it, he laughed shaking his head in wonder as to how good she was, this guy didn't know what was happening. He heard the man take the bait and he smiled more, he knew being a cop he should really stop this, it wasn't right but he was having much to much fun watching this ignorant man go down, much to much fun watching her.

"Something like money or other stuff" he told her almost salivating at the mouth, Natalie bite down seductively on her lower lip and looked at him. She had him; she was continuing to reel him in.

"Did you want to play for something or money, you know to make it more fun?" she told him and his eyebrow went up. Then Natalie spoke again

"Okay, I don't want to give you the wrong impression here, maybe we should just continue to play like this, no stakes, its also fun right? We are having a good time? I've gotta go soon too, not a big drinker, been told I can only handle a few drinks, not sure if that's true cause I usually don't remember anything after four or five, and ... and I think we're up to drink four now." Natalie told him as the waitress brought them another round of drinks, Joe smiled as he paid the waitress and told her to come back with another drink every half hour for the next few hours.

John shook his head again, Amazing he told himself, she was good, really good, she was playing this guy like a fiddle. He continued to smile and he saw her glance towards him as she made her way around the table.

Natalie leaned in to set the balls on the table, she grabbed the rack and started purposely turning it the wrong way, she racked the balls all wrong and she knew the subject of playing for something, something she laughed something or money, the subject was coming up again, and so was the chumps erection, as he moved in close to her ear.

"How about we start off playing for who buys the next round of drinks and then we take it from there" he told her as he leaned into her ear

"Yeah, that could be fun" she told him back all breathy

An hour went passed and Natalie lost the last five games, they started with loser bought the next round which she did, then they moved on to money, small amounts, each game getting a bit bigger and bigger, Natalie lost almost a hundred dollars, it was sitting on the side of the table, it was time, now was the time to make her move this con had gone on longer than she had hoped. Longer than she had wanted it to, she had hoped to be home by now, just relaxing with a good book in the chair in her room.

"Okay, this has got to be my last game, I'm all out of money" she told him as his eye's widened

"Well.. it would be unfair of me not to give you a chance to win your money back"

"Yeah, that would be kinda unfair of you so?" she said with a small smile

"So, you win this one, I'll give you all your money back plus double it"

"Really? " she said softly and sweetly and she smiled at him and then she changed her smile.

'Wait a minute, what will I have to give you?" she told him and he laughed. He leaned into her ear and whispered into it with a huge smile growing on his face.

"I'm not sure, I really suck at this game, I'm really bad, but.. but you are a nice guy and all" she told him and he moved towards her

"You have been improving since you had those last few drinks," he told her as he remembered her wavering and not being able to stand to straight when they played the last game.

"Okay! Sure! Why not, I have been getting better, can I cut?" She told him almost slurring her words

"What?" he asked her " oh, Oh, you mean Break" he said shaking his heading as he licked his lips.

John continued to watch from the corner, laughing, not being able to stop for a few minutes, as he knew this was the score she was waiting for.

Joe racked the balls and then he saw Natalie side step a bit, he again smiled.

"Hey you know what? Not sure I can do this, I mean..' she said slurring her words, as she moved closer to the table

"Just take the money you won it fair and square" she said as she brought herself purposely close to his chest with hers, she backed up a bit with the icing on the cake.

"I'm gonna go home now" she said as she started to walk away from the table

"Wait.. wait.. come on you can't leave me now, you've got to try and win your money back, here" he said as he laid even more money on the table.

John looked quickly at least another fifty, Damn! She was really good

"Wow! That's a lot of money I could win if I get those little balls in the outlets" she said and he smiled

"Come one, I'll even buy you another drink," he told her and first she hesitated

"Okay, a Fu-Fu drink with lots of clear stuff in it, I'm gonna break" Natalie broke and the balls went flying everywhere, her whole disposition changed a bit and she actually had to tame herself so not to look that good. Shot after shot she smiled and acted as if she couldn't believe it, how lucky she was.

John watched in amazement as she moved around the table, she was good, really good and not just at conning this guy at pool, it almost looked like she wasn't even playing as good as she could. Like she was holding back something. He continued to smile and watch her as she won the game.

"Oh.My.God.! I can't believe it," she said as she flung herself on to him in a hug

"I won, I really won, you were so right, this is my lucky day, I have never been this lucky before, thank you, thank you so much" she said as she took the money off the table gently and started to walk away towards the door.

The chump just stood there in shook, confused and then he watched as she walked away, he quickly came to his senses and ran out the door of the bar towards her. John watched what happened and then he saw the man run after her, he saw the look in the mans eyes and his smile turned serious, he followed the man out of the bar.

By the time John got out of the bar he didn't see them but he heard them, he heard the man raising his voice to her.

"Hey, get your hands off of me Asshole" Natalie yelled as the man, Joe the chump grabbed her so hard he was bruising up her arms.

"You little Bitch, you conned me" he said shaking her as Natalie brought her knee up to his groin, she shoved it straight up and tried to run but he grabbed her by her hair and yanked her back towards him as John came around the corner. John ran over and grabbed the man and thru him across the alley and into a wall.

"What the hell man?" the chump screamed in John's face and was about to come at John when John opened up his jacket showing him his badge and gun. The man calmly started walking away. John watched the man as he walked and also saw Natalie trying to quietly walk away far enough so she could run.

"Where do you think you are going?" John asked her sternly, and she turned towards his face and gave him a sweet smile

"Wait" John told the man

"Give him his money back," he told Natalie as her face dropped

"What! No way" Natalie screamed back at John

"Yes way give it back to him" John told her and he looked at her sternly

"No way buddy, none I worked my ass off for this money" Nat told John as she got in his face

"Give it back or I'll..."

"Arrest me?" Natalie told him and he looked puzzled, how did she know he was cop, she wasn't close enough before when he showed his badge in his jacket. Natalie watched as now both men stared at her, she stood for a few minutes, reached into her pocket and gave him his money. The guy took the money roughly out of her hand and walked away after calling her a few choice words.

Natalie watched as the guy walked away, she looked over at John. Who was laughing now at this point.

"What the hell are you laughing at asshole?" she asked him but decided not to wait for an answer. She started walking away towards a car in the parking lot

"Where do you think you are going?" he asked her and she turned around to face him.

"Home" she told him snidely

"Nope, at least you aren't driving, you've been drinking too much" he told her as he moved closer to her, he was even close enough to smell her perfume, something flowery he thought.

"Excuse me Mr. detective, I haven't had a single drink containing alcohol all night" she said as she pushed him off of her a bit, he was to close, she was feeling smothered.

"I watched you put away at least six to seven drinks in there," he told her as she smiled at him

"That's true but none contained any alcohol, the waitress is a friend of mine, not a drop of alcohol in my body," she told him as she started to slowly move them towards her car. He moved with her slightly towards a car in the lot.

"No! You aren't going to drive till you prove you are fit to be driving, till we do a little test"

"What type of test?" she asked almost wondering if he was trying to extort something, maybe sex even from her, she shook her head after that thought and wiped it from her head, this guy was to straight laced, to clean cut, too..too, to handsome, had too much of good body, she shook her head quick, really quick he was a cop, the enemy in a sense.

John watched her body language and he saw her lost in thought and then he spoke

"If you walk a straight line for me you can drive your car home"

"How about I just kiss you and you can see if you taste it or smell it on my breath" she told him boldly getting a defiant look in her eyes. He shook his head letting out a small chuckle as he walked backwards and waited for her to walk a straight line towards him, no more words were spoken, she saw him a few feet away, she took this as a challenge in a sense and she walked the damn straight line towards him, she came within inches of his body, she looked him straight in the eye's, not wavering and she took his mouth defiantly.

John watched her come close after she successfully walked the line but then she didn't stop she came right up in his face and forcibly took his mouth in a heated kiss, John stood dumbfounded as she brought her lips off of his, she looked at his expression which was pure shock and she smiled satisfied.

"Good night Detective" she told him as she walked to her car. John still stood in shock not being able to get a word out for few seconds when he turned and called after her.

"How do you know I'm a Detective?" he asked her as she opened her car door. She smiled at him.

"You walk like one" she told him and got in her car, started the engine and started to drive off when John came out of his funk smiling to himself and he made a mental note of her license plate number


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ABC owns them**

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**Chapter 2**

John laid in bed that night awake he turned his head and stared out the window to the left of his bed, it was so still out, calm, dark, the only light that he saw was a small bit from the lamp post outside. He wanted so desperately to find sleep but he wasn't accomplishing it, he lay awake going over his day, his month, his life.

His life he told himself and he wasn't sure if he had wanted to laugh or cry. His life was far from interesting, far from light, it was dark, dark and miserable. He was dark and miserable most of the time, he wondered how he had gotten that way, how he became a person who had nothing more then work, a career, a career which began the whole focus of his being.

He turned his head up and stared at the ceiling, he shook it slowly and just a little as he thought about his career and why he had nothing else. He was 27 years old and he had nothing in his life, and had never really had, yeah, he had his mom but she was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, she was singing her little heart out and although they spoke quite often it really wasn't the same as her being here. He had a brother, a younger brother who he hadn't kept in touch with for a while an occasional letter here and there but that was it, nothing else, no wife, no girlfriend, not even a dog.

As he rolled on his side to try and get more comfortable he began to close his eyes and think, think about when the last time he laughed was, the last time anything, or anyone had caught his eye. He smiled, as he saw her in his head, the thing that made him laugh tonight, the beautiful thing that he couldn't keep his eyes off. He excited himself thinking of her, she was beautiful, more than beautiful smart too the way she worked that guy over, he chuckled to himself remembering how smooth she was, and then he touched his lips, he sighed, she was one hell of a kisser too, the heat he felt as her lips came upon him.

"Okay" he told himself out loud "tomorrow I find out all there is to know about the Red Head with the killer bode and lips" John also said out loud as he drifted off to sleep.

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Natalie curled up in the chair in her room, it was really late and she had just finished studying for one of her college exams that she was having tomorrow. She closed the book and let a bout of depression set in, she didn't score any money tonight, none, she needed that money from that con but that asshole Detective made her give it back. She shook her head as she went over to her small dresser and took out a tee shirt to sleep in.

She continued to become more depressed, her next college tuition payment was due soon, soon and if she didn't pay she was out, kicked out this time they said, she was late with the payments before and some how at the last minute she always came up with the cash, but this time it was very difficult, she already had three jobs, and they just didn't pay enough to pay the tuition and to keep Roxy face up so to speak.

She tried so hard not to give in to it, she fought it back but she couldn't help it, she became teary eyed. Things were getting desperate and she knew she might have to leave school, She needed to get her hands on some money and quick, she needed it, she was so desperate for it, she needed to get out of this place, the place she was living in and the town that just caused her heartaches growing up and took all of her. It was just to hard she told herself, to hard to stay a float around here and not let it take away who you were inside.

She walked over to her bed, shook it off, the depression, laid down and said a silent prayer, a prayer of questions, a prayer asking for answers to those questions, the questions of why did she feel like was suppose to have more, be more. She stopped praying, this is what I'm suppose to have in life. She told herself as she heard a drunken Roxy come in the front door of the apartment with a guy friend. She let out a sigh, pulled the pillow over her head, closed her eyes to shut out the misery and desolation she felt, Tomorrow was another day and she would survive it, she would again figure out how she would get thru paying for another semester and get thru the undeserving hand life had handed her.

The next day went fast for John, he was assigned a new partner, a Detective who had worked with his dad all those years ago, the guy was young then but now he was much older, wiser, tougher even, he gave john a run for his money at work today and although John was exhausted he loved every bit of it.

It was sometime about eight o'clock when John pulled up at the address on the paper that he held in his pocket on the shirt on his chest. He was so busy today but not to busy to look up all he could on the Red Head, the Red head who now had a name.

" Natalie" he said to himself as he smiled "Natalie Balsom" he said again and smiled yet again. He looked at the filthy apartment building and was almost disgusted by it, there was a man over in the corner and he was peeing on a light pole, he knew this part of town wasn't the best, hell, it was the worst part of AC, drugs, prostitution, corruption even murder. He now understood why she came across so tough last night, she had to be to survive this area, this part of town. He thought about her toughness and although she had the tough part down pat he could tell there was something else underneath, to what he wasn't sure but underneath he could almost se it, see a softer side, he was only hoping he got a chance to see that side up close and personal.

John continued to watch as he picked up a file on her, a file he printed up although she herself wasn't ever in any type of trouble her mom sure had been, even her younger brother at one point and time. Her life was messed up, beyond messed up, their were reports of neglect, abuse. The file also told him something that disappointed him to know end she was barely eighteen, just turned it three days ago to be exact, she was young, very young especially compared to him and he knew getting so worked up over a girl that young was wrong but he couldn't help himself, he was already so intrigued by her, he knew this more than likely wouldn't go anywhere but ... but just watching her, listening to her made him laugh so what the hell? He told himself

John shook his head not knowing why he really cared so much and so fast but he did for some reason and then he saw her walk out of her house, she got into her car wearing an even sexier outfit than he saw her in last night, she looked to kill, he stood frozen for a minute as he watched her drive off, he followed her closely but not to closely as he saw her get out of the car and go into a bar.

John followed her into the bar and she had already got herself a new chump. His guy even looked dumber than the one last night. He sat for a minute not far from the table and watched, she set the guy up and then she turned her head over to the right and saw him sitting there, their eyes locked and she sighed knowing this wasn't happening tonight she wouldn't be conning anyone out of anything, at least not with the good detective sitting near by. She didn't even try, she excused herself from the guy slowly and quietly as John smiled, she walked over by him, he was still smiling.

John watched her with his eyes never wavering from hers as she just gave up the con, the sting, she walked over by him, her eye's watching his and John continued to smile as her face seemed to say she conceded.

"Are you following me Detective?"

"No" he told her flirty

"Really cause it kinda looks like maybe you are, and I just figured I'd tell ya that I'm not into games, that is other than pool and what ever it is you think you might want from me isn't going to happen." she told him upfront and he smiled even wider

"Well that's good Ms. Balsom, cause pool is the only game I'm interested in also" John told her and she got a confused look on her beautiful face. She watched as John got up and went over towards the pool table that was now clear of people. He started to rack the balls.

"Do you want to break?" he asked her again smiling the same smile that hadn't left his face since seeing her tonight

Natalie stood frozen for a minute and she couldn't believe it, all he wanted was to play pool, there's got to be something else. She'd been around cops before, they always wanted something, and there was always a game a ploy behind their motives. No one, no cop, or anyone else just wanted to play pool.

"What's going on here?" Natalie asked him in a softer tone than a few minutes ago, almost as if letting her guard down.

" What do you mean, we are going to play pool? Is it alright if I break?" John asked and she slowly nodded her head yes. She still looked confused when he sank a few balls and then scratched, he went over and handed her a stick for she still looked confused. She looked into his face and took the stick, their fingers guided over the each others gently and they looked into each others eyes more intently, Natalie walked passed him and over to make a shot. She leaned down to line it up but didn't follow thru, she stood back up straight.

"Are we playing for something here?" she asked wanting to know what she was getting herself into

"Yeah, for fun, maybe even friendship" he told her and her breath caught in her throat, she was a little shocked by his words, it was almost sweet. Natalie loosened up a bit at his words, she never really thought he was like the others, the other cops she knew, the ones that tried so hard and that were so dirty. She relaxed a bit and decided to see just how much fun she could have with this guy.. this.. this detective...

"Do you have a name?" she asked him and h smiled as he watched her start to line up another shot, he watched her make the shot and then he went closer to her and put out his hand to shake it.

"John Mcbain" he told her and they shook hands, he held her hand in his a bit longer than he should have and he knew it, she pulled her hand out of his and looked away quickly, she moved away to make her next shot, she missed it on purpose, he looked at her and again his smile came to his face.

"You're trying to take it easy on me aren't you? Are you trying to con me?" he said teasing and she laughed, the ice at that point was officially broken


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ABC Owns Them**

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**Chapter 3**

Natalie had so much fun playing pool with him that she was now wearing a smile as bright as his if not brighter. He had just won his first game against her and he let out a huge scream when he did and she laughed even harder.

"Its about time you won one, I'm exhausted trying so hard to lose" she said joking and he laughed with her. John placed his stick on the wall, and she did too, she glanced at her watch and noticed the time, it was after midnight, she had class at eight tomorrow.

'Its late I've gotta go, thanks for the game and for the soda" she told him as she started to walk away, he followed her outside

"Wait" he told her as he tried to catch up to her

"It was fun wasn't it? I mean... I had fun, how about you? You did look like you had fun" he asked her and then he didn't let her answer his question.

"Do you always do that?"

'Do what?"

"Ask someone a question and then just go on and on talking, you didn't even give me a chance to answer and I'm not really sure that's a good trait for a detective" she told him as they walked to her car.

"Sorry" he told her with a small smile as they approached her car. They stood silent and finally he said something

"So, did ya have fun?" he asked and she laughed, she shook her head yes knowing it was probably the most fun she's had in a long time.

"I really did have fun, it was fun to just concentrate on the game rather than the score," she said with a sadness to her eye's

"Well, I've gotta go, gotta get up early tomorrow" she told him as she turned to her car door, she opened it and was starting to get in when he touched her shoulder and turned her. She looked at him for a minute this guy, this detective, he was older so much older than she was, what could he possibly want from her. She watched him get tongue-tied and then he tried to speak, he walked away from her a few feet.

'I..I.. think it may have drank too much, need to walk a straight line to see if I'm able to drive" he told her as she got a confused look on her face till he walked that straight line and took her lips in a heated kiss. His hands came behind her head and tangled in her hair and his mouth devoured hers with deepening kisses, which she wasn't protesting to.

After about ten minute they were both breathing heavy and needed to take a breath, they pulled apart and looked at each other, looked inside the other thru their eyes. They heard someone approach them and clear their throat as they removed their gaze from the other.

"Natty, baby cakes what's goin on?" Roxy asked, as she couldn't stand straight, she practically threw her body on to John's and he caught her before she hit the ground.

" Roxy you're drunk, Let me take you home" she told her as she tried to get her out of John's arms to help her in the car.

"No, I'm not drunk and Billy's here, he's taking a piss, he's coming back, we gonna get more to drink and have a little fun"

"Lets go home tonight without Billy" Natalie told her and she again tried with John's help this time to get her in her car.

"Nope, I need me some Billy, hey, who's the heater?" Roxy asked and Natalie shook her head.

"Wait, he's a cop natty run baby run, we gotta run," she said making a complete fool out of herself. Natalie put a hand on her shoulder and kept her in place.

"Roxy, we don't have to run, he's alright"

"I raised you better than that, you know how to spot a pig when you see them, what the hell is wrong with you, he wants you to sleep with him for protection like the others" she said and John looked at her, she wasn't embarrassed till this point.

"I ain't sleeping with anybody, I'm taking you home!" Natalie told her angry this time, she almost had her in the car when Billy walked over

"Hey, we're gonna have more drinks or what?" Billy said as he grabbed Roxy out of Nat's car and drug her inside leaving an exhausted and upset Natalie feeling as if she needed to explain something to John. She turned to him and his smile from earlier was gone, he seemed disgusted and she knew why, she didn't even want to explain it to him. She didn't say a word and got in her car, she was about to pull out of the parking lot when she saw him get in her car.

"What are you doing?" she asked him

"I need a ride home I'm drunk" he told her serious

"No, you're not, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I lost my keys, can I crash at your place" he told her and she became more confused

"No you didn't"

"Yep I did," he told her playfully as he made a motion with his hands for her to start driving, Natalie hadn't cracked a smile this whole time and she was kind of enjoying his playfulness

Natalie fought it for a few more minutes, her smile, she wanted so much to smile and was fighting it, when she heard him speak

"Don't fight it, you have a beautiful smile" he told her and she let it go, she started her car, they left his at the bar in the lot and she drove to her apartment.

They arrived at the apartment in silence when she turned off the car, she turned to him.

"What are you doing? Cause I know you aren't dumb and you know you're not getting any from me, so what's going on?" her bluntness caught him off guard and he wasn't sure why. She was pretty much a straight shooter to speak; there was no beating around the bush with her, he out of nowhere smiled.

"I wasn't looking for anything, just had fun with you tonight... you're very interesting, I wouldn't mind it if we became friends, I know for me it would be nice to have someone to talk to once in awhile" He told her so sweetly that she almost felt as if she was going to melt, he seemed so sincere, and a friend was definitely something she could use.

"So, so what do you say?" he asked her and she smiled at him.

She leaned in real close to him, close towards his ear as if she was going to tell him a secret when she turned her mouth and kissed him. They kissed for a few minutes but then broke apart.

"Okay Friends" she told him getting serious.

"Yeah, friends, just friends cause you're just a kid" he said with a slight grin.

"Okay, what ever you say but. but I bet you don't no many kids that make you feel like I did when I kissed you" she told him with a glimmer in her eye. He smiled at her and shook her head, she was damn amazing.


	4. Chapter 4

**ABC owns them**

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**Chapter 4**

Natalie and John stayed in her car and talked for hours, it was close to six in the morning when they realized the sun was coming up, Natalie was exhausted but she was having a great time just talking with him, it was light, nice. They sat and watched the sun as it rose, it was even a bit romantic she thought, he held her hand a bit but not for long, he seemed shy about it, she wasn't sure if he was shy about her or just shy in general when it came to women.

They stared at the sun as it rose and a new day began, John turned briefly to Nat and gave her a small smile, the same small smile he had been giving her all night, all morning as they talked about everything, and anything.

Natalie had told him so much about herself she was amazed. She had never told anyone all those things, what she went thru as a child growing up with Roxy, without a father, with caring for her brother and then him being taken away when they were little and then her being left with nothing, she also told him about Rex getting into a bit of trouble when he ran away and came back to be with her. She even got into the facts of why she would hustle people for money, how she didn't enjoy it but she needed the money to help get her out of this town, this town that was eating away at her, this town for which she always felt as if she didn't belong. It just amazed her so much how she felt comfortable with him so soon.

John sat in the car with her all night, and most of the morning, they watched the sunrise, they had talked so much before the sunrise and now they were just watching the sun start its new day. He was so caught up with how much he was enjoying her company that he even held her hand, he reached for it, took it, he intertwined their fingers and they fit so perfectly he thought.

As he watched the sunrise with her, holding her hand he thought about how open he had been with her, how he couldn't believe the things he told her as if he knew her forever as if they knew each other longer. He knew she was only eighteen but she was so much more mature than that. He told her about his dad being a cop, his death, how it affected him, his mom and even his brother Michael. He told her everything and wanted to tell her everything. But he did more than just talk, he listened, listened closely to every word she spoke, he felt every emotion she spoke about as she told him about her miserable childhood.

A few minutes after the sunrise John turned to her, he smiled and then got serious for a few minutes. She saw him get serious and it was really one of the first few times she had seen that face the whole ten hours that they had just spent together.

"What's on your mind?" she asked him as she to got a serous look come upon her

"Was just wondering... "

"Wondering what? I think you can ask it, what ever it is, I mean.. I've just about told you everything there is to know about me, and ... and .. well just ask it?"

"Do you have any dreams Natalie? I mean what are your dreams, your plans for the future? Do you even have any?" he asked her still serious and she was a little unraveled by the question, what did he mean what was her dreams? She told herself.

"John, do you mean goals, like goals in life, what I want to do with my life?"

"Yeah, sort of? But I really meant your dreams, what it is you dream of when you close your eye's and if you were to see it, it would be perfect"

Natalie hesitated for a few minutes before answering

"I'm not much of a dreamer John, goals are more my thing"

"What do you mean you aren't a dreamer?"

"Just what it sounds like, dreams to me aren't reality, they are fake, fictitious and they cloud our lives with nonsense sometimes"

"That's ridiculous, that's not what they do," John told her a little upset by the fact that she didn't dream, didn't believe in dreams. After a few minutes of silence Natalie spoke.

"What are you dreams John? Since you must have them or you would've brought it up," she asked him and he hesitated before answering

"I dream of being in the FBI someday, of making my dad proud, maybe...maybe having someone to spend my life with, maybe a few kids, a house. Don't tell me you don't have dreams and ones like that," he asked her

"I guess I do, I just consider them goals to achieve but I guess they are sort of the same things"

"So what are they?"

"You really want to know?" she asked and he shook his head

"Okay, My biggest goal is to get out of AC, go somewhere pretty, nicer, be around nicer people that don't expect something in returns for a favor. Maybe you could say I dream about a better life for myself, a better place to be" she told him seriously, she looked into his blue eye's and she saw something in them, she wasn't sure of what it was.

John was silent for a few minutes and then he heard Natalie speak.

"I've got class in a few hours, let me drive you back for your car" she told him and he nodded yes, John watched straight ahead of him as they drove, he didn't look at her and he wasn't still wearing the smile that he had been since he saw her in the bar yesterday.

John was thinking, lost in thought, wondering, no hoping, no wishing she was just a bit older cause he was feeling something for her, something already after only knowing her for a few days. It seemed like they got each other, him and her, and when she explained her situation, and how she felt like she had no one, it almost seemed like they were the same, two loners, two lost souls, they were the same. How he thought for a few minutes that they could be everything to each other, maybe even be meant to be but.. But she wasn't at the same place he was, not if life; their age difference put them in two different places with two different things on their minds. Friends, he told himself, they would have to be friends.

Natalie pulled up to the bar parking lot near his car.

John turned to her and looked into her ocean blue eyes and almost forgot what he was going to say.

"I... I... I feel something for you.. I mean.. Is that weird? Do you feel it too? Wait.. wait don't answer that, I really enjoyed our.. our talks tonight, I.. really enjoyed our kisses tonight too and I would love nothing more than maybe to see where the kiss part and stuff would go but.. but it just seems we are in two different places in life, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, I understand and I've really got to get for class" she told him annoyed, it almost felt like she was being dumped or something but they just freaking met.

"Natalie I.. I'm Not" he tried to get out

"Listen John, don't beat around the bush, alright, tell me straight, you didn't enjoy yourself and now you are giving me the brush off, I really don't care, I've been alone, never had anybody my whole life, no biggie if your don't want more or to even be my friend like you mentioned earlier" she told him and he was taken back a bit, he wasn't sure why cause after spending the whole night talking with her getting to know every intimate part of herself that she would let him into, he should've known how she would take this, and be so blunt.

"That's it, I want us to be friends, I mean... I don't have many, and you and I seem to hit it off, seem the same, we both seem to be alone in a sense and I think we could be good friends, I enjoyed playing pool with you tonight and talking"

'Yeah?" she asked softly this time, she did enjoy herself that was probably why she was a bit upset by this words a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, friends, agreed" he told her and he put his hand out to shake on it.

Natalie thought about it, she definitely wanted to be his friend but she got a wicked smile on her face, she leaned in with her hand to shake and faked him out with it as she again took his lips with hers. He accepted her kiss and deepened it; she pulled away, and looked at him. He shook his head as she laughed and he got out of the car.

John came over by her window, banged on it, she rolled it down.

"Wanna play pool tonight, Friend?" he asked as he smiled

"I've gotta work till nine"

"Ten o'clock then?" he asked her and she nodded her head


	5. Chapter 5

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**Chapter 5**

John and Natalie met to Play pool every night for a week, having more fun each night than the one before, more fun than they had ever had in their lives. They were so comfortable around each other already. Tonight John was running late for their nightly game when he walked into the bar to see her standing by the pool table with a few guys. She was talking with them, they were flirting with her, she was smiling with them and joking and he started to feel rage, angry almost, jealousy. He walked closer to her and them and she saw him and she smiled.

"Hey, you're finally here" she said as he walked closer to him.

"Is something wrong?" she asked him as she saw his face.

"Nothing. Who's your friends?" he asked her bluntly and she was shocked at his tone, she hadn't heard him use that tone at all this week.

"Are you sure nothings wrong?" she asked again and he gave her a look, a strange look.

"Who's your friends?" he asked again

"This is Travis and Brian, we have a few classes together, they were just keeping me company as I waited for you, they actually wanted to know if we wanted to play doubles" she told him and then she saw him walk away from her.

"No, Not tonight, actually not up for playing, see ya," he said and he left the bar, she looked after him confused. Brian said something and she turned back towards him.

Two hours later John sat outside her apartment waiting for her to come home, he saw her car pull up and he got out to talk to her.

"It's about time you're home" he said nasty as he approached her

"Excuse me?" she told him back just as harsh. He heard her tone and stopped himself from getting even nastier

"What's up with you John?" she asked him

"I.. I don't know"

"That's a lie," she told him and he looked at her for a few minutes and then smiled, she already knew him so well.

"I know, I.. was just jealous, I mean you were talking to those guys and .. and well they are your age so much younger than I am."

"John, we are just friends remember, this age thing is really bothering you isn't it? We can't continue to be friends if you are going to be jealous every time I talk to someone or go out with them"

"What do you mean go out with them? Do you have a date with one of them?" John asked quickly as he picked up on the words she used

"No, no..but.. Brian did ask but I don't need any of that pressure, I don't really like him that much, anyways, we are friends and its not normal for you to have a problem with me seeing someone, are you sure this isn't going to be to hard for you, to be friends I mean" she told him hoping, praying he said he could handle it cause she loved spending time with him, just being comfortable around him.

John was about to tell her, tell her how hard this was for him and that maybe they should not spend so much time together, maybe distant themselves from each other. When they both heard a noise and looked to see Roxy drunk and walking unsteadily up the sidewalk. Natalie automatically walked over to her and started to help her inside, John went over to her and also helped get a drunk Roxy inside.

Inside the house they put her into bed, covered her up.

"Thanks, you should go now" she told him and he stared into her eye's, she had life bad, and he knew it, yet she didn't complain much, she just kept going with life and trying to obtain her goals

"I'll talk to you tomorrow" he told her and she nodded, he went out the door and down to his car, he started it and was about to drive away when he saw Roxy's boyfriend Billy from the other night walk into the front door of the apartment building, he stood there for a few minutes and then got an uneasy feeling come over him, he ran into the apartment building and up to her apartment, just as he heard her scream.

"Get the Hell away from me Billy! Get your hands off of me!"

"Now Natty baby, your mom promised me some action tonight and since she's asleep, I think you will have to keep her promise"

"Get off of me you drunk bastard" Natalie said as she pushed him across the room, but he came back at her and grabbed her shirt, and a few buttons ripped off by the top. He had his body touching hers as she screamed "NO " and spit in his face.

John pushed in the door with his shoulder and ran in to see him trying to touch her, he grabbed the son of a bitch and threw him across the room, he pinned him up against the wall and punched him in his gut a few times as he released his anger for the man on him.

"John... John, No, don't hurt him. He's drunk, I could've handled it myself, I could've taken care of it," she said with a soft shaken tone to her voice.

"John!" Natalie screamed this time as she saw him bring his arm back one more time to punch Billy. John was so enraged that he hadn't heard her first plea to stop but then he heard her scream his name and he turned with his arm mid air and looked at her, into her teary blues, her eye's pleaded with his and he saw how hard this was for her, how hard it was for her to not cry and he slowly lowered his arm from the air, moved away from Billy as he fell to the ground.

John still kept complete eye contact with her for a few minutes and then pulled her to his chest, he held her for a few minutes when they heard a drunken Roxy come out of the Bedroom.

"What's going on? Billy, what the hell?" she said slurring her words a bit as she approached Billy on the floor, she looked at him and then up at Natalie.

"Natty, how could you?" she told her

"What?" Natalie said back to her as she completely came over near Roxy.

"What the hell did you do to my boyfriend?" Rosy asked nasty

"What did she do to your boyfriend!" John told her back not so nicely

"Your drunk fucking loser boyfriend attacked your daughter, he's lucky I didn't fucking kill him" John told Roxy as he moved a bit closer to both she and Roxy.

"You had to do it didn't you? One guy wasn't a enough for you, you gotta go after my man again, just like the last freaking time" Roxy said getting in Natalie face as Natalie tried so hard this time to push back the tears, one tear fell and she bite down on her tongue to make the rest of them to stop coming.

"What the hell kinda mother are you? That asshole attacks your daughter and its her fault" John told Roxy wanting to punch her now, he shook his head knowing he couldn't but he so wanted to when he heard her speak.

"Go to bed Roxy, I'll make sure he's all right" John heard her words and he couldn't believe what she had just said.

"Like hell you will, Natalie, you don't need to take care of that drunk, neither drunk" Natalie heard his words and she pulled him a side away from Roxy as Roxy was looking over a drunk Billy who was starting to move around and stir.

"John, I appreciate what you are doing but.. but I can handle this myself, unfortunately I've been down this road before" she told him and he looked at her, it seemed she had been down this road before, and she would probably always go down this road with a drunk abusive mother.

"Go home John, I'll call you tomorrow okay?" she told him quietly as she had a feeling he wasn't going to just leave.

"No, I'm not leaving you here with them tonight, come home with me"

"John, that's really nice of you to offer but.. but I will be alright, they are both drunk and ..and even if you hadn't been here, he was to drunk to hurt me"

"Natalie, I'm not going to argue with you on whether that bum was to drunk to hurt you or not cause he could've hurt you, he did hurt you, emotionally, but.. Either come stay at my place, in my extra bedroom or I'll just have to say here on that couch." John told her persuasively as he stared at her.

Natalie looked at John and then looked over at drunken Roxy picking Billy up off the floor. She heard Roxy call out for her to help pick Billy up off the floor, Natalie looked back at John and stared into his serious blue eyes

"Alright, let me get a few things" she told him as she went into her room quickly and got some clothes, she returned quickly to see Roxy and John glaring at each other. John came closer to her, took the small bag she had her stuff in and then they proceeded to walk towards the door in silence.

"Natty baby, where you going and when you comin back?" Roxy asked, as she was suddenly sobering up, Natalie turned to her when she heard her words.

"Does it even really matter?" she asked her and when Roxy didn't respond she shook her head, turned back to John and they walked out of the door, out of the building, and not even knowing, out of Roxy's life.

Natalie followed John in his car, to a small house in a much nicer neighborhood in AC, she got out of her car and walked up to the front door with him.

"You live here? And alone?" she asked him as he opened the door with the key, John opened the door and they went in before he answered.

" This is your place?" she asked again as she looked around it

"It's actually my mom's its where I grew up" he told her as he flipped the lights on, he walked over by her as he saw her looking at some pictures on the walls.

"You were a cute kid," she said with a sarcastic tone and a small smile

"What do you mean I was?" he told her back playfully. They stared for a few minutes and then he looked towards the stairs.

"Are you tired?"

"No, not really, you?" she asked him back

"No, how about you get your pj's on and we watch a movie?"

"Sounds good, where do I change and are Pj's mandatory" she asked innocently as he gave her a quick look of something brewing inside him, was that desire she saw in him, she ignored it, as they stared intently into each others eye's.

John looked into her eyes and he knew this wasn't going to be easy, it was going to take all of him to have her here in his home and not touch her, not be close to her, but he had to remember, remember she was so young compared to him. Younger, a kid, a friend, he told himself in her head. He told himself all those things but still asked the question that was on the tip of his tongue.

"What do you sleep in?" he asked and regretted it the minute it came out of his mouth, did he really want to know, what if she said she slept in the nude, would he be able to stop himself by getting aroused by her words, and the thought of her with no clothes on. He shook his head, and thought Friend as she spoke.

"A shirt, a tee shirt, a sort of long one, does that meet you approval" she told him and she laughed, she could see he was lost in his own head for a few minutes there.

"So where do I change and put my stuff, where will I be sleeping?' she asked and he came out of his trance.

"Sorry, upstairs first door on the left is the bathroom and second door on the right is the extra bedroom, go get undressed and I'll get us some snacks and pick out a movie" he told her, she nodded and walked up the stairs, she glanced back slightly and noticed he was watching her walk up the stairs. She smiled and ignored his roaming glares as she proceeded up the stairs.

Ten minutes later she came down to see him already on the couch with a bag of chips and a few beers, the movie was in the VCR and he pushed play as he saw her walk over to the couch in a black tee shirt that only just went half way down her thigh. He had pushed the play button so roughly, he was enjoying what she looked like in just a tee shirt and he needed to control himself, his desire.

Natalie sat on the couch next to him she grabbed a pillow and held it to her as she settled in to watch the movie, he seemed quiet she thought at first but then realized it must have been because the movie was playing. About a hour into the movie she started to get sleepy, real sleepy, she was trying so hard not to give into it but it was getting harder not to, she leaned her body over, she laid her head across his legs, and fell asleep.

John was trying so hard to keep his distance from her, she looked so beautiful just sitting on the couch next to him and it took all his will not to reach over and touch her, taste her again. He concentrated on the movie and then she moved closer to him and laid her head down on his lap, he couldn't breath for a minute, she was so close and her beautiful hair extended over his lap, he knew he couldn't not touch it, her hair, to feel the softness of it, he reached down and started to caress her hair as he felt her get real comfortable and fall asleep on his lap.

John too was getting comfortable as if her being here, and her lying on his lap as he touched her silky hair was the most natural thing. He closed his eye's, and next thing he knew he was waking up to find himself on his side holding her from behind while still on the couch, he had his arms wrapped around her front and her head laid nestled into his neck. He took a deep breath and again said Kid, Friends. How he wished he had only believed the lies he was saying.


	6. Chapter 6

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**Chapter 6**

John and Natalie had spent the whole night laying in each others arms without even realizing it, John hadn't remembered the last night he had such a good night sleep, he woke and when he realized it he started to gently pull his arms off of her sleeping body but something inside him stop him. He in turn nuzzled up closer to her for a few minutes as she continued to sleep, he didn't want to let go yet, not just yet, it felt right, it felt comfortable, he loved the way it felt.

Natalie started to wake and she couldn't remember where she was for a minute then she felt his arms around her and wondered how and when that had occurred, the last thing she remembered was her laying down across his lap and getting comfortable. She started to slowly move out of his gripe so not to wake him when she successfully out of his arms. His arms felt good around her and she had never remembered feeling as safe, ever, as she felt right here, right now. But.. but as much as she would have loved to continue to feel like that, she didn't want to give him the wrong idea. They were friends, they could only be friends, he was at a different place in his life than she, he was ready for different stuff and Natalie wasn't even entertaining those things in her life yet.

John felt her get out of his arms and he already ached from the distance. He was awake when she did but didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so he pretended to still be sleeping, he heard her walk up the stairs and then he got up off the couch.

John started to clean up the living room when he heard her coming down the steps fifteen minutes later, she was showered and dressed, her hair was still wet and she had her bag in her hand.

"You're up" she told him as she walked closer to him

"Yep, just straightening up" he told her and they were both silent for a few minutes when she started to stutter to get her words out.

"Well...well... Thanks for letting me spend the night, I had fun, talk to ya later" she told him and she started to walk out the door, he grabbed her shoulder as he told her to stop

"Wait" he told her with his hand still on her shoulder

"What " she answered quickly not wanting to leave just yet.

"Do you have time for breakfast? " he asked as he saw her face give him a skeptical look.

"Come on, just breakfast, I kinda like having you around, I like the company" he told her and she smiled.

"I don't think its such a good idea John, maybe this wasn't a good idea, I think maybe I gave you the wrong impression or maybe you are sorry about us being friends, and me spending the night here made things harder, worse."

"No, No they didn't, actually I wanted to talk to you about that, about you spending the night, where are you going to stay for now on?"

"What do you mean, where am I going to stay for now on, at the apartment with Roxy, I can't afford to stay anywhere else, not with barely scraping the money together for school" she told him quietly as they both stood near the door.

"Well... I have a .. A solution, well I think it's a solution"

"A solution to what, there needs to be a problem before there's a solution"

"The solution to you not living with your mom any more, and I know before you start, she's your mom, but..But its not good for you, you know, to have to be put in that spot to take care of her and her drunk boyfriends, to be attacked like that, like the other night and although you didn't actually come out and say so I know it has happened before." he told her as he watched her eyes and knew he was right

"John" she started to say something but he stopped her

"Just listen alright, we get along great, we could be company for each other, I mean.. I don't have any family around and .. and well it might be nice having some one around once an awhile to just talk to or.. or just sit with in comfortable silence"

"John, what exactly are you getting at, cause maybe I'm confused but it sounds like you are asking me to move in here.. and with you"

"That's because I am.. and wait before you go saying you can't afford it, I already pay the bills here, the mortgage has been paid my mom owns the house, it wouldn't cost you anything and ... and... and it would just be tow friends who get along well together being roommates" he saw her already shaking her head NO!

"Just think about it alright, let me know, really think about it, you could live here with me as a friend, I'm not expecting anything else, nothing in return, just companionship, something we both are lacking, I'm even a really good cook and..." John was rambling on and on, and on when she shut him up

"Can you just shut up already? Man, I never heard a guy go on so much before, do you ever stop talking? " She said and they both laughed

"If I promise to think about it will you just shut up?" she again was laughing and joking, she smiled at him, he returned the smile.

"I've really gotta go" she told him as she again started towards the door, she got a hold of the handle and then he placed his hand on top of it, he looked at her, she looked first on his hand and then up at his face.

"Pool later or a movie?' he asked as she smiled as she shook her head

"I have to study," she told him

"Okay, I'll make dinner and you can study while I cook and then if there's time we can watch a movie" he told her now matching her smile

"Maybe we'll see, can I have my hand back?" she asked, he shook his head no.

"I really need to go now"

"Only if you promise to give me an answer tonight about the moving in thing Roomie"

Later that night John had made them dinner as she studied comfortably in the Living room, Natalie couldn't believe how comfortable she felt in his home, with him, in his arms even. She had just met him a little over a week ago and they seem to have some sort of bond, connection, something, she was unsure what exactly to call it but it was something.

As she continued to study her chemistry book she noticed he came out and sat next to her on the couch, sat without words and just watched her, she ignored him for a minute and then turned her head to meet his eye's that were on her.

"What?" she asked him as she smiled

"Dinners ready"

"Well why didn't you just say so?"

"I didn't want to interrupt your studying, just incase you were into something challenging and important, you know .. Wanted to show you that I would be respectful, you know just incase you do decide to move in here" he said still hinting at her moving in here, she smiled at him and ignored his comments as she got up and went to the table, he followed her over and they ate dinner.

An hour later dinner had gone well, they laughed and ate, talked and relaxed, it was fun and light, things with her were fun and light, every time he was around her he was just...just.. happy. He thought and he had to almost bite his tongue from thinking that, he was just getting annoyed at his partner for saying how much of a better mood he was in because of her. He had been talking no stop to Brian his partner about her since he met her and Brian would tease him non stop about her, tell him that if he hadn't known better Johnny was falling, and falling fast for her. He shook his head knowing, knowing how wise Brian was at this moment, especially as he watched her clear the table and start cleaning the dishes.

John clear a few things off the kitchen table himself and brought them over to her to wash, he handed a plate to her, there fingers touched as she took the plate from his hand and they looked into each others eye's. After a few frozen seconds he spoke with the smile still on his face

"You're so good at this," he told her

"What? Dishes?" she questioned at first but then spoke again as she turned the water off.

"John, I think we need to talk, talk about me moving in here"

"Have you decided?"

"No, no really but I do think its a mistake actually, I think us hanging around so much is a mistake, it..it could lead to bigger problems in the long run and I'm not really in any need for any bigger ones"

"Don't beat around it Nat, that's not you just say it"

"I think you are looking for more than just a roommate, a friend, from what I've learned from you over this last week, you've... well you're ready to have a life, a life with someone, your at that age where its appropriate and your clock is ticking so to speak." she told him, he stared into her eye's, how did she know me so well he asked himself as she began to speak again.

"I can't give you what you want, I'm not ready for those same things, its just a waste of time for you to be hanging around me so much, it just keeps you from meeting someone that will be all the things you are looking for in life, someone that is on the same page as you...I think its best if we put the offer of staying here, living here to rest, lets not even consider it"

"So you were considering it weren't you?" he told her and she shook her head.

"Did you hear a word I just said?" she said as she laughed at him for a second.

"Yes, I heard you loud and clear, and as for what you said..foooeeee"

"Fooooeee, okay and how old are you?" she again laughed this time even harder.

"Listen, I know what you said and I understand your concerns but .. but.. I enjoy our friendship; I've never had someone I can talk to as freely as you. As openly as you, I'm comfortable with you and we have been having more fun than I ever remember having ever, so... so I promise it will be all friendship, I will not ask for more not...not unless you ask first" he said almost hesitantly as if waiting for her to answer, to say she might want more but she didn't.

"So what do you say? Come on you know you want to, look at how nice this place is, warm, and look at how comfortable you are studying here. It will be fine." he asked her trying so desperately to convince her to.

After a few more minutes she walked away from him, went into the living room, she went out to the car, he walked closer to the window and saw her go into her car and bring out a few boxes, a huge smile formed across his face. He walked out the front door and helped her with her boxes.

They walked up the stairs in silence as he still wore the grin on his face. She looked at him.

"Are you going to be grinning like that the whole time I live with you, cause its gonna get old and fast" she told him, he smiled and she then laughed.


	7. Chapter 7

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**Chapter 7**

It had been almost a month since Natalie moved in with John, into his moms house, at first she was a bit leery of how it was all going to work out, all play out, she had her doubts but it was amazing at how well they seem to get along, how well things fell into place, she worked a lot, he worked a lot, they were both on different schedules but it was nice to come home to someone, well someone that wasn't drunk all the time that was. Natalie was doing a lot of thinking lately, lately about how nice things were, how nice he was to her, on the days that they were both home at dinner time they would take turns cooking, Natalie usually did the cleaning, she had way to much energy not to, and she liked things just a little bit cleaner than he did.

Natalie was beginning to clean the Kitchen so she could get ready to cook for tonight, tonight was here turn to do the cooking; she was just clearing the sink when the phone rang.

"Hello"

"Hey, it's me" John told her softly into the phone, Natalie heard his sexy soft voice, the one that had been driving her crazy this whole month, she bite down on her bottom lip for a moment and thought about the pain rather than the sexy guy on the phone with her, the guy who although they couldn't be more than friends, the guy she was sharing a house with, even playing house with so to speak, the guy... the guy...

"Natalie are you there?" John asked as he heard a long pause of silence

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry, what's going on?" she asked him after coming to her senses about the thoughts she was just having about her good friend, her best friend, her roommate.

"Just wanted to catch you before you started cooking, thought maybe you'd like to skip it tonight, maybe we could go out to dinner, if you feel like it, I know you've been studying so much might be nice to take a break, that--" john was cut off by her trying to speak

"You really never shut up do you?" she said laughing and he started laughing too.

"So is that a yes"

"Hey anything that gets me out of cooking you know how much I hate it"

"Really? You don't have to do it anymore then if you don't want to"

"John... it was just a cute comeback I wasn't serious, what time and where for dinner?" she asked he told her to meet him somewhere, somewhere strange, a rooftop? She was very confused but she trusted him, and he said she would have a good time.

Natalie arrived at he building he told her to, it was tucked out of the way, the neighborhood was a decent one so s

He walked up to the roof and she wasn't even afraid or anything, she knew he wouldn't tell her to come somewhere that she wouldn't be safe. He cared about her, the same way she cared about him.

Natalie walked out onto the roof and she smiled, he was standing near the side with a beer in one hand looking down at the cars going by, he turned and looked at her, he smiled.

"I guess you found the place huh? No problems getting here?" he asked and she walked closer to him. Real close, she didn't know why but she wanted to be close to him.

He watched her come real close and he froze for a minute he almost forgot his promise, the promise of nothing more than friendship. The promise that was haunting him as he tried so hard t o get his breathing under control, her being so close, it was affecting him. She walked a little past him and over to the edge, she looked down

"Wow!" she said

"Now I know why you like it here, its... its... its"

"Peaceful" he finished her sentence for her

"Yeah, peaceful, nice, the lights are so bright and I feel like nothing can touch me up here"

"Us..." he said and she looked at him confused for a minute

"Nothing can touch us, up here" he told her and she smiled at him, she walked away over towards a cooler and a blanket on the floor. She turned back to him confused again.

"John...this... this looks sort of romantic, I mean... we... I..."

"Its not, I always bring a blanket up here with me, it gets a little chilly and I like to stay up all night waiting for the sun to rise and start a brand new day" he told her softly, gently. She shook her head, she had to remember there friends promise, he was making it really hard this last month but she stayed strong, they both stayed strong and she would definitely be able to handle it but something was different up here, up on this roof, as if nothing else mattered in life, nothing other then the two of them together on the roof. All the feelings she was hiding in the word friendship were trying to come to the surface and she couldn't quite get a handle on them to push them away yet again.

John saw her lost in her head, he walked away from her closer to the blanket, he sat down on it and rested his elbows on his knees, he intertwined his fingers and he almost wanted to tell her, tell her about his great news. The great news he turned down today because she mattered more to him, their friendship if that's all that it would ever be, it mattered more to him. He noticed she was having her own private battle in her head as she stood still near the edge of the roof.

His next battle came to him in his head as he looked at her, as he watched her back, as he saw her beautiful long soft red hair down her back, as he thought about her blue eye's and just how beautiful he thought she looked every minute of everyday especially when she just woke in the morning, he was lucky enough to see her wake a few times this month when she fell asleep on the couch. He couldn't help but smile as he continued to wait for her to turn around. He was falling fast for her, Hell, he'd already fallen fast and far and he couldn't possibly get up nor did he want to.

Natalie started to come down from her thoughts, the thoughts of him and her and maybe... maybe... no! She shook her head, she may be having true feelings for him but she just didn't want the same things he did, at least not right now, he said those things were dreams of his, those things and to be excepted at Quantico. Her dreams or goals so she called them was to Get an education, a college degree and get the hell out of dirty Atlantic City. She heard him speak softly and she turned around.

"What?" she asked as she walked closer to him sitting on the blanket, he didn't answer her with words but she saw into him, into his body, thru his soul with her blue eyes, he felt as if she couldn't breath and she went for it.

Natalie quickly threw herself down on the blanket with him and took his head with her hand, she pulled his head towards hers and their lips met in the middle, and they kissed passionately for the first time since they moved in together. Breathing heavy and deepening the kiss John pushed her back on the blanket and laid on top of her, he brought his hands to her beautiful hair and moved his tongue inside her mouth as they unleashed the sexual tension that had been building inside for the last month.

Natalie was in heaven, his kisses, his deep kisses, they were driving her crazy when she realized what this could ruin, how unfair this was to him because of what she knew about him, what he was ready for in life, what she wasn't ready to give him. She pulled back from the heated kisses and so did he, they locked eyes for a few minutes and her eyes' got a bit teary, she quickly got up and left him alone on the blanket.


	8. Chapter 8

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**Chapter 8**

_Llanview 5yrs later_

John Mcbain walked up to the small cottage type house, it was cute he thought, real cute, very homie looking, there was even a swing on the front porch, he was sent on assignment here, here to investigate a murder that happened a year and a half ago, a case that should have been assigned to someone with a lot less experience than he but.. but, well he just couldn't keep his mouth shut right, with the way his last case was going, he ruffled some feathers so to speak and this is where he ended up, on a stupid fishing experiment to find out information on a old FBI sting that went wrong.

He had left the FBI headquarters in Vegas so fast, they wanted him gone like yesterday when they hadn't even given him the file, he knew nothing more than a name and an address, he would have to fake it, fudge it, so to speak, get the info he needed, maybe tail the person they wanted him to and then he would be done, do it with a smile so to speak and then be back in good graces with the bureau, show them he could be a team player and take orders. He walked up to the front door and knocked on the door.

There was a Knock on the door, Natalie was just walking from the Kitchen with CJ when she turned and placed him in the pack and play as she headed for the front door to answer it.

"Hello can I help you?" she said as she looked up to see his face.

John saw her the minute she opened the door, he had to blink several times to make sure she was real, then she spoke and he shivered at knowing she was real, it was Natalie, his Natalie, the girl he knew all those years ago, the girl that he loved many moons ago, the girl no one ever compared to, the now… now older, no longer girl but grown woman.

"John?" she questioned lightly as she looked into his eye's for an answer, it was him, it was really him, her friend from all those years ago, and he was standing in front of her. The man she remembered loving all those years ago. They searched each others eye's for a few minutes and then he smiled.

"Natalie, you...you look great" he told her as she blushed a bit, she stepped aside and let him come into the house. They continued to just stare at each other for a few more minutes, smiling and observing all the changes that occurred in five years.

"Your hair... it's so long," she said as she touched the back of it briefly

"But other than that, I don't see any changes" she told him as her hand dropped to her waist

"What are you doing in Llanview?" she asked as curiosity was beginning to set in, what was he doing here, had he been looking for her, did he know she lived here? She wasn't sure cause he looked just as shocked as she when she answered the door.

" I'm... I'm actually looking for Mrs. Vega? I need to speak to her about her husbands death in Vegas" he said not even thinking, thinking she could be this Mrs. Vega, he saw her walk away briefly and turn, then after a few seconds he realized it, it was her.

"You are Mrs. Vega aren't you?" he asked and she nodded her head not turning around to face him. He didn't know what to do, he was there for work but all those feeling from when they were close all those years ago came back, all that he felt for her but never acted on, all that he remembered, all that he loved. He without words went towards her; he looked into her blue eyes that he had missed for so long as she gathered enough energy and strength to answer him.

"That would be me," she said with a tear in her eye, he moved even closer this time as he turned her and pulled her into his arms and held her. He closed his eye's briefly as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, as he looked up behind her to see a baby boy standing in a play pen type thing watching them, he smiled at the little boy for a second and then the baby screamed to obviously get there attention. To get his mothers attention, to get Natalie's attention.

Natalie heard her son scream and she pulled herself out of John's arms, she moved closer to CJ in the pack an play, he quieted insistently as soon as she was out of John's arms. John saw her over touching her son, or whom he had assumed was her son, she touched the top of his head and smiled at him. John moved closer to the two of them.

"He's adorable Nat, how old is he, what's his name?" John asked as he saw her regain herself. She turned to him, to John, to an old friend, and old friend who she knew must still be in the FBI.

"CJ, he's ten months old, I see you made it thru training in Quantico alive Huh?" she asked him as she faced him, he gave her a weak smile and then he walked away from her a few feet. She picked up her son and walked closer to him.

"Can I get you something agent Mcbain, water, coffee, tea?" she asked him but her smile was gone. He gave her the cold shoulder; he was still bitter, still bitter about what happened all those years ago. Natalie saw from behind that John shook his head No, she turned away from him and put her son down in the exer-saucer a few feet away. She stood by her son still as she saw him finally able to turn and talk to her. She saw his teary eyes and she spoke again.

"All these years and you are still bitter about what happened aren't you?" Natalie asked him as she looked straight into his eye's, they studied each others for a few minutes as they were both seeing it again, flashbacking to it again the only thing was, was that Natalie's flashback held the truth, the truth of what made her do what he saw, do what he was so bitter about.

Flashback

"What do you mean he was excepted to Quantico? Kenny, he didn't tell me, tell me anything about it"

"That's cause he turned it down"

"What? No, there's no way he turned it down, he's been dreaming of being in the FBI since he was a kid, that's what he told me, why, what could possibly have made him turn something like that down?"

"I think you know, maybe cause it wasn't as important a dream as another, I know you know what I'm talking about"

"Can he still go, I mean if he changes his mind, can this be fixed for him"?

"I might be able to do something but... but he will have to change his mind in the next day or two, I'll make a few calls"

Present

"I'm not still bitter Nat, It was a long time ago, I mean... okay, I was surprised to see you here and yeah, I still feel a little bad about what happened, I mean, we both meant something to the other, and I understand we were sort of suppose to be good friends but... but it hurt, and you knew it hurt, it was almost like you did it on purpose, like you wanted me to find you in bed with that guy. Why? Why would you do that to me in my own house?" he asked her and she took a step back, away from him.

"I have no explanation, we were suppose to just be friends, nothing more ever, and... And well I did what had to be done, but look" she said after getting herself out of a messy state she was putting herself into.

"Look at how good things turned out for you, you did it right? I mean, show me your official FBI badge, you made your dream come true, your dad he would be so proud of you" she told him and he smiled weakly

"Yeah it all worked out, for you too, it seems you got out of Atlantic city like you dreamed, I mean how you planned" john told her with a bit of sarcasm to his voice

"You can say dreamed, I dream now, not just set goals but dream," she told him softly as she watched his eyes closely

"Well see that's good than too" John told her and she smiled, Chris started to whine a little and Natalie looked at he clock

'Will you excuse me for a minute I have to get him a bottle" she told him and walked into the kitchen for a moment

John watched her walk away; he followed her all the way into the kitchen with his eyes. Then he heard the baby start to whine louder, he leaned down and the boy put his arms out for john to pick him up, John smiled, he reached in and picked him up gently, he heard the front door open and looked up to see a man standing there.

"Hey, who the hell are you? Put the baby down" Rex told John as he saw an unfamiliar man holding his nephew

"He.. he was crying so I picked him up" John told this punk who seemed to be confused by John.

"Give him to me and what have you done to Natty?" he told John as John handed Chris over to Rex carefully

"I wasn't going to hurt him, I'm an FBI agent, I'm also an old friend of the baby's mother"

"Yeah, right, like Natty has ever had a friend in the FBI, and with all the shit you guys have put her thru this last 18 mths, I doubt you were invited in." Rex told him as he took Chris and walked a few feet away as Nat came out of the kitchen with the baby's bottle, Natalie didn't say a word but saw the looks going on between Rex and John and knew something was up.

"What's going on?" she asked as she continued to look between them

"That guy, this FBI guy was holding your son when I walked in, he... he says you guys are old Friends" Rex told her as she took a breath and sighed

"It's True Rex, this is John Mcbain, he use to be a AC cop when we were friends"

"He's John Mcbain, the one you told me about" Rex asked sizing John up, Natalie shook her head.

"What's he doing here? I Mean hasn't it been like years?"

"He's here about Chris' murder, and its been a long time, and... and well I've gotta go, its late, I'm going to be late for my appointment" she told Rex as she handed him the bottle, John just stood observing things as she grabbed her stuff and then finally turned to him.

"Agent Mcbain, I have already answered all the Bureau's questions at least a dozen times, if there are any new questions I would be more than happy to answer them in the presence of my lawyer, here's my card, my numbers are on it" she told him cold as she reached into her purse and pulled out a Buchanan Enterprise Business card, that she handed to him.

Natalie walked towards Rex and her son, she kissed CJ goodbye, she smiled at Rex and then proceeded towards the door, as she knew John would follow.

"Why?" was all John said to her as they both walked out the front door together?

"Why What?"

"Why are you being so cold all of a sudden, are you bitter for a reason?" he asked her

" I... I have my reasons and lets leave it at that "she told him and she got teary for a minute, it confused him, she without words started to walk away from him

"Hey" he told her as he grabbed her wrist before she got to far, she looked down at her wrist and his hand on it first and then up to meet his eyes

"Its me, don't forget that okay, me, your friend, the one who you felt you could tell everything, it may have been years but...but I am pretty much the same person I was then just older, just wiser" he told her and she looked into his eyes deeper

"I really... I really want to talk to you and not just as an agent, I mean, I want to see how life has been for you these five years, I want us to catch up, we were important to each other once, weren't we?" he asked her and she teared up more

"I have to go, can I have my wrist back please," she asked him softly

John slowly let go of her wrist and watched her eyes till he watched her turn and walk towards her car and drive off. He looked into the front window of the house to see the man from earlier watching him, they glared into each other's eyes and john slowly left her house


	9. Chapter 9

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**Chapter 9**

Natalie walked in her office at BE, she waved to Brenda her assistant, she didn't say a word and Brenda knew she wasn't in a good mood.

Natalie took a seat at her desk and waited for her brother and her grandfather to join her for their monthly meeting. She grabbed a few files off her desk and started to read them but couldn't concentrate on anything but him, but John, but seeing him again today, at her house after all these years, it brought things up for her, memories of good times, of how he made her feel, how she felt safe with him, and how much she was in love with him although they were friends all those years ago.

"Hey, little lady you're finally here, can we get this meeting over with already, I need to meet Renee at the hotel"

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John walked into the Llanview Police Department; the Bureau had called and told him they would fax the info on the Vega case, Natalie's case there. John walked into the lobby area and spoke to a woman behind the receptionist's desk.

"Hi, I'm agent Mcbain from the FBI, I was getting some files faxed here today can you tell me if they've arrived?" he asked the woman behind the desk, he showed her his Id and the woman got a mean look on her face. She didn't answer for a few minutes and then she pushed the intercom button on her phone.

"Commissioner, The FBI is here for there files, should I show him in?" she asked the commissioner as john listened to the man on the other end say yes.

"Its the first door on the right" was all the woman said hasty and John shook his head as he walked to the door she told him to, he knocked and he heard a man tell him to come in. John walked in and saw a man stand and put out his hand for him to shake. The man wore a look to match the woman's out on the lobby.

"John Mcbain, FBI" john said as he shook the mans hand

"Bo Buchanan, Llanview Commissioner, sit" Bo told him nicely but a bit firm

"I have the files the bureau sent for you"

"And..." John said knowing there was something else on this mans mind

"And, if I hear of you or anyone else from the bureau doing anything out of line, anything at all to Ms. Vega, to Natalie, to My Niece... I will have to take action, the last president of Operation Ted Davies, he's an old friend from the service and I'm not above going to him if I have to, are you following me Agent Mcbain?" Bo told him and John got the picture, but did he, he was Nat's Uncle, how was that, he was getting more and more confused by the minute.

"Sir, commissioner, I will not do or say anything out of line Natalie.. I.. I mean Ms. Vega. Honestly, I have yet to know why exactly I'm here and what it is the Bureau thinks Ms Vega can help with"

"Well then here" Bo said and he flung the files at him

"You can use a desk out in the other room but before you go, I just want to make one thing clear, my niece has been thru enough in her life, growing up the way she did and now with this heart ache, I will not allow, my family will not allow her to be hurt again, are we clear? Not by you or the damn feds" Bo said as he saw John shake his head

"Also, don't expect any help around here on this case, my boys are quite fond of Natalie, she was part of our team for awhile and they won't be cooperative in this ghost hunt." Bo told John and John proceeded to walk outside to an empty desk; he took off his jacket and took a look as some of the officers from the station were walking around staring at him giving him glaring looks. He sat down at the desk but before he started to look over the papers he thought maybe it best to take them somewhere else and look over them, somewhere less hostile, he got up and walked to the receptionist

"Is there any where around here to get a burger?" he asked and she just ignored him, shit! He thought what had the Bureau done to Natalie and this town for all of them to be this pissed at the site of a suit. He walked away shaking his head.

John thought he remembered a bar not far from the station so he walked it, as he walked he couldn't help think about her, what it felt like to see her again, to be so close to her, it had been years, many years later yet he still got weak in the knees being close to her, she was even more beautiful than five years ago, she had really grown up hadn't she and what was with her being related to the commissioner of police, Bo Buchanan was his name, the Buchanan's he had heard of them, they were really well known, he pulled out her business card she have him earlier, Buchanan Enterpreises, she was a Buchanan. How the heck did that come about? John was getting himself more and more confused as he thought about the situation. He shook his head and knew he had to speak to her about it, to find out what happened in the last five years, heck he just wanted to talk to her even if about nothing at all.

John entered the bar and took a seat at a table in the middle of the room, a waitress came over and she was about to take his order when she noticed his badge, his FBI badge, she gave him a face and walked away.

"Hey, hey miss, you didn't take my order" John was calling out to her loudly and a bit sternly as Natalie walked into the door of Rodi's with Kevin, she saw his face, he was annoyed at something, she told Kevin to get a table and she approached him. He looked over to see her walking towards him.

"What's wrong with this small town?" he asked her bitterly " first the glares at the police station, the police commissioner threatening me, now I can't even get a burger" he told her, she smiled to herself as she walked away from him and over to the bar, she spoke to Mac behind the bar for a few minutes and then she walked over to Kevin for there lunch.

John was starting to look thru the files on her as the waitress from earlier approached with a beer and a plate containing a Burger and Fries, she put it down on the table and she gave him a weak smile before walking away. He looked at the cheeseburger, smiled, it was just the way he liked it, and his favorite beer, she remembered he told himself and his smile got a bit bigger, then he looked behind him slightly to see her in deep conversation with a man, a man in a suit, a bit of jealousy crept in his body for a second as he watched her give the man a chuckle. He turned back around and started to eat his burger when he felt her presence.

"Why don't you just save me and us both some time and talk to me about what happened in Vegas, about what happened in AC, and how you got here" he told her but he didn't turn to look at her, if he did, he knew he would fall under her trance, if he looked into her blue eyes he won't be able to be strong, to ask the questions, to get answers he wanted from her so bad.

"I'll tell you about Vegas, but not here, and not now, I have to get home to my son, if... if... if you like you can meet me at my home later and I'll answer your questions but only...only the ones i want to answer" she told him and he nodded, she was so much more strong willed than he remembered her being, stubborn, defaint even, more sad, was that even possible for her to be more sad and miserable than she was back in AC all those years ago, yes, he said to himself it was, cause he was more miserable and sad than he was back then.

John arrived at her house sometime around seven, he walked up to the front door, was about to knock when instead he peeked in thru the front window, he looked in to see her on the floor playing with her son, he was holding on to a coffee table and moving around it with his feet, as he went round and round I Natalie scooped behind him with her arms out incase he was to fall backwards, he smiled, she was smiling and talking to the boy and his heart was ready to melt on the spot, how he would have loved to be a part of that, this, them. He moved away from the window and knocked on the door. He heard her call for him to come in and he entered the house.

"Hey, you're a little earlier than I thought, didn't we say 7:30?" she questioned him softly as she walked over towards him with her son in her arms

"Yeah... well... well... I didn't realize the time, is it a problem, if it is I can come back" he told her hoping she didn't say it was, he watched her shake her head that it wasn't.

"No, its not, I just have to get CJ ready for bed, he usually goes in about now, excuse me for a few minutes" she told him in a nice soft tone, not harsh like how she was talking to him earlier. He watched her walk up the stairs with her son in her arms, he watched until he couldn't see her anymore and then he turned away from the stairs to take a good look at her house, her home.

It was nice, he thought as he walked around it, it was warm, not to big, not to fancy, just right, it fit her, or at least how he remembered her. He walked towards the fireplace and got lost in the picture that hung above it, it was a picture of her, her face, she was sleeping, it was the most beautiful picture he had ever seen, it sent chills down his back just looking at it, she was so peaceful, content, safe looking in the picture, he brought his fingers up over her sleeping face in it and moved his fingers over her features slowly almost imagining he was touching her, he removed his hand and started to look around the pictures on mantle, there were a lot of pictures of her son, some with her and him, some other people who he imagined must be her Buchanan family here since The police commissioner Bo Buchanan was also in the picture.

John studied the pictures on the mantle for a few more minutes and then he realized, there wasn't any of her husband, her dead husband, he had looked over bits of the file and had seen his picture but there wasn't any pictures to be found of him or them together, his eye's automatically went back to the beautiful picture of her above his head, he again took his finger to her face on it slowly rubbed his fingers over her messed hair and then took a look at the artists signature, it was her dead husband, the file he read did say something briefly about him being an artist.


	10. Chapter 10

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**Chapter 10**

John watched as her face hardened and turned to stone. She started to tell her story with, no emotion what so ever in her voice or features, she didn't even flinch as the harsh, cold words came out of her mouth and he wondered if she became like this became because of the FBI and all there questions, all their involvement in her life.

"Christian Vega and I were engaged when I started to play pool in some tournaments. Chris was an artist and I was still in school. We went to Vegas for the Vegas tournament two days after our wedding. The night before the big tournament Chris came to me and asked me to throw the match. I was mad but he told me he was in danger if I didn't. So I decided I would, he was so desperate and... and.., never mind" Natalie started to lose it at the end, her rough all the facts edge that she was holding together, she almost told him some personal stuff that didn't pertain to the case.

"And what Natalie?" he asked

"No, its not important to your case Agent Mcbain" She said coldly, once more in control of her emotions.

" I was going to throw the match but when it came down to it I just couldn't do it," she said reminding her self yet again that he was here as FBI and not as the man she once loved.

"After I won Chris and I were escorted quickly to a back room. There were three or four tough looking guys there with guns. Chris talked with a man who, I didn't know at the time, was Flynn Laurence. I Flynn get angry with Chris and point to me a few times when there was a ruckus in the hall. A few men, Feds, came barging in. Before they could do anything Flynn grabbed Chris from behind and put the gun to his head. He told the feds that he was taking Chris and if they followed he would kill him. They let him go. That was the last time I ever saw my husband." she said flatly, not a trace of emotion left in her voice.

"That is all I know, Agent McBain. Nothing has changed since the last time you Feds came here demanding answers months ago. I don't know anything about Chris's involvement with Flynn nor did he ever tell me anything of his involvement with you people. " She told him caustically walking into the kitchen quickly. He didn't follow knowing she needed this time to regain her composure.

John thought about what she had told him, the facts that she had told him, nothing more than that, how bitter she was towards him. After a few minutes she returned from the kitchen, she looked at him and he could tell she had been crying, her face was stained and her eyes red. She looked at him and in a voice the sound of a whisper she spoke.

"I'm done for tonight Agent Mcbain" he looked at her, her voice sounded soft but her tone was just as harsh when she said his name.

"No, I have a few more questions" he told her back softly but a bit stern, she gave him a stunned look and he started to speak.

"Why? Why are you calling me Agent Mcbain as if you don't know me or know who I am, why are you acting so cold "

"Because I know who you are. You're one of them, one of those people who helped to ruin my life. One of them who turned my life upside down. For the first time since I let you go, since you left for Quantico I had someone in my life who cared about me and they took him away, or at least helped to take him away from me, leaving me and my son alone. "

"But Nat... I didn't take him away or help to"

"That doesn't matter, you're one of them. You work for them and I can't, I won't, let my guard down around you. You'll just use it against me, just like the rest of them." she said as she felt the tears on their way back she turned herself towards the window so he couldn't see her.

"Natalie, you know who I am. You've always known who I was. You knew then and I'm pretty sure you know who I am now. I may be a Federal Agent but I'm so much more than that to you, remember...remember we were friends a long time ago. Actually a lot more than friends, we talked and could tell each other everything, and at times it seemed we did. I wish you could look at me and see that... see I'm that same person, the same person I was back then when I loved you so much" he told her and she turned suddenly and looked at him, and for a brief second she was beginning to unravel and was ready to throw herself into his arms but she stopped herself as she walked a bit closer and spoke softly again.

"What is it you want from me John? What?" she asked him as she looked into his face

"I want you to see me for that person I am and not just what I do and who I work for. Not as a fed, not as the enemy, but as me, I want you to let me help you, to let me in. Maybe... maybe together we can make it better" he told her as his eyes looked as if they were going to shed tears. She looked back into his eyes

"It's going to be difficult John, real difficult for you to be my friend on this and also be a Fed"

"You let me worry about that. I've missed you Natalie, we have so much to talk about, to catch up on, please let me in?" he told her as his eyes begged for her to let down her walls if just for him, if just for one night. A single tear down her cheek, he moved closer with his hand and wiped it away with his thumb, he saw he body start to move slowly closing the few inches between them when he opened his arms and let her into his embrace, and he held her in silence for what seemed like hours.


	11. Chapter 11

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**Chapter 11**

John continued to hold Natalie for a few more minutes when they heard a loud cry come from the intercom system on the wall of the living room. Natalie pulled away from John, she looked into his eyes briefly and then walked up the stairs anxiously to see what was wrong with her son. John heard the baby cry out and he saw Natalie get a bit of a worried face on as she walked quickly up the stairs, he stood still for a few minutes but then followed her up to her son's nursery.

As John approached the room he heard the boy cry louder and louder, he saw Natalie walking him back and forth the room trying to calm him, to make him feel better, her back was to the door and him till she heard him speak, till she turned and saw him.

"Is there something wrong with him?" he asked her softly as he walked closer to them, he took his finger and touched CJ arm slightly and rubbed his finger up and down his soft feeling baby skin, he smiled slightly as she began to speak.

"He's warm, I think he has a fever" Natalie told him as she walked away from him and over to the changing table in the corner, she was trying to go thru all the draws in the table looking for fever medicine when John walked right over to her and took CJ out of her arms, so she could look for the medicine with both hands. Without words she watched him hold her child, it came natural for him, the baby even seem to calm a bit when John was holding him, she found what she was looking for and gave the medicine to CJ as John held him.

Natalie put the medicine away and went to take her boy from John when John stopped her.

"No, let me hold him a bit and get him settled for you"

"You don't have to do that John, I can take care of it"

"I want to Nat, let me" John told her and he held her son on his chest, as he started to quite more.

After a few minutes C.J. was still awake but quieting with every minute that john continued to hold him.

"John, why don't you at least sit wit him or lay in my bed with him, he can get a bit heavy " she told him, he looked at her, the boy was getting a bit heavy for some one to hold for the past half hour, he nodded his head and he followed her into her room.

John walked into her room with her son almost asleep on his chest when he couldn't help but look around, it was nice, her room, warm looking, home feeling, he could tell she loved her room, the way it was set told him she was comfortable in it.

"Lay down with him on your chest"

"What" he asked softly

"Slide across gently and lay down, he just fell asleep he needs a few more minutes to be in a good sleep before you can move him on the bed next to you" she told him as she watched him with her son, how could she have acted so cold to him earlier, it really was him, he really was the same person that he was back then, back when she was so young and he had all his dreams ahead of him. She saw him start to slide CJ onto the bed; Natalie took a seat on the other side of the baby as john placed him in the middle of her bed. Successfully the baby was on the bed and off of John's chest, he turned to Natalie after he looked at her baby boy for a few minutes.

"Its amazing isn't it?" he asked her softly

"What is?" she asked him as she followed his gaze over her son.

"He is, you are, you have a baby Natalie, a son, and he's amazing, I just can't believe it, he's perfect from his head down to his toes" he told her and she smiled at him

'Yeah, he is, you should have seen it the first time I saw him, the first time I held him, it was unbelievable, the feeling, it just can't be described, I fell in love with him when I was pregnant with him but then when he was born it was so much more than that, he was just so perfect you know, I looked into his eye's and I knew I had to do everything I could in my power to take care of him, to keep him safe cause he was mine and I loved him so much."

She told John and he blinked, that was how he was feeling right now, about them, about Natalie and her son, he wanted to do everything he could to take care of them, to keep them safe, he had always felt like that all those years ago with her but now, now after all this time had passed he still felt it and even more, and now with her son, with just holding him, watching him, he was in love and not just with Natalie again, with the precious little thing that laid between them.

John smiled across her sleeping child to her, she looked back at him for a brief second, then she turned away and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes till she spoke

"How's your life been John? Have you been happy? Did you ever find those things you were looking for back then, you know things to fulfill your dreams" she asked him and what she was really asking him was if there was anyone in his life, a wife, a girlfriend, anything, he didn't have a wedding ring on his finger so she doubted he was married, the way he asked about and spoke about CJ made her belief he didn't have any children, but she was curious to the facts, facts of how and what life has been like for him these past five years.

John knew what she was asking, he got the picture the minute she beat around the bush which was different then how she use to be, Natalie was always direct, straight forward if nothing else back then, it was different but not a bad different just..just.. just a mature one.

"There's no one in my life Natalie, I'm not married or even seeing anyone, I've really only been about the job for the past five years, haven't had time for anything else, never took the time for anything else"

"And why is that?" she asked him softly, softly so they didn't wake C.J. who was still asleep in between them in the bed.

"I don't know, I guess I just never wanted to, never wanted to try with anyone, probably because no one ever compared...compared to you" he told her as she turned from the ceiling and looked at him, she got teary eyed and he saw it, saw a tear escape her eye.

"I looked for you, you know, after I complete my training in Quantico, I asked around, no one saw you, or knew where you were, it was like you vanished off the face of this earth. Then.. then after trying for a little while I.. I gave up, you obviously didn't want to be found, and with everything that happened before I went to VA, you probably didn't feel for me anyways or not the same as I did for you." John told her all that, he laid things out in the open for her; she looked into his eyes for one brief minute and then looked away to the ceiling.

"He's in a good sleep maybe you should go now" she spoke into the ceiling

"I don't wanna go yet, and with the way you just asked me, I know you don't really want me to either" he told her and she did face him again, no tears this time

"Why? Why don't you want to go?"

"I want to hear about it, about how you got here and how you are a Buchanan? You are a Buchanan right? And that guy from earlier, he's the brother, Rex, the one that was taken away from you and Roxy when you were a kid, right?" he asked her and she sank further into the couch

"Yeah, I'm a Buchanan, and Yeah, that was Rex


	12. Chapter 12

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**Chapter 12**

John and Natalie laid with Nat's son CJ on her bed as she told him about how she came about being a Buchanan, well how she came about finding out about being a Buchanan.

_Flashback_

"Excuse Miss. Are you Natalie Balsom?"

"Yes" Natalie answered cautiously as she observed the man.

"My Name is Loren Harris and I am a PI for the Buchanan's, can I come in?"

"No, I don't think so, what do you want?" she asked the man as she held the door almost closed in his face.

"Ms. Balsom is there anywhere we can talk?"

"Here is just fine," she told the man as he got a defeated look

"Fine, the Buchanan's have hired me to find you, well to find a daughter they have just recently learned was stolen at birth and they believe you to be that daughter, they would like for you to have a DNA test done to see if you are said daughter"

"Ha...Ha... Ha. that's a good one, a really good con, and to use the name Buchanan, aren't they like those really wealthy people in Pa? Ha..Ha.. This is just too funny, go sell it to someone more gullible" Natalie told him and slammed the door in his face.

_End Flashback_

"So, you thought that guy was conning you?" John asked as he settled in nicely in her bed, he pulled a pillow on her queen size bed under his bed and a smile formed on his face as he became very comfortable on her bed and with her again.

"It wasn't till three days later when my Grandfather showed at my apartment and tried to explain the details of why they thought I could be a Buchanan"

"And how did that go?" John asked softly

"You haven't been in town long enough to have met my grandfather, have you?" she said with a smirk and a chuckle

_Flashback_

"What the Hell? Who the Hell is banging on my door?" Natalie said as she was awoken at 7am to a tall older gentleman

"What took you so long girl?" Asa spat out

"What's it to you old man, who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing banging on my freaking door like that" Natalie said giving it right back to him

"Well It's your lucky day little Lady, I've got a proposition for you" he told her as she became leery

_End Flashback_

"So he offered me Money, lots of money to take this damn DNA test, the damn Ridiculous DNA test to prove I was a Buchanan Heir of some sort, I thought it was ridiculous, I mean me a Heiress yeah, like that was right, but..but he kept smiling at me all weird and crap, and well the money, lets just say it would have helped out tremendously"

"So you went with him and had the test done?" John asked with a grin

"Yep, but I met him at the hospital of course, and of course I made him give me the money up front just to make sure he didn't stiff me" She told him smiling as she remembered Asa's words that day

"What are you smiling at?" John asked as he turned to see her slight smile when she was quiet for a few minutes

"When I asked for the money first he laughed telling me I could have it after but I got my stubborn defiantness up and stared at him and told him I'd be leaving, he smiled, gave me the money reluctantly and told me that stubbornness and determination were Buchanan traits." she told John and shook her head.

"So when did you get the results back and how come you didn't know about being a Buchanan?" he asked sitting up knowing this was the part that might be hard for her, he was pretty sure it was very hard for her back then. She was silent for a few more minutes.

"I got a call from a lawyer from Pa, the Buchanan's lawyer asking for a meeting with me, that the results were in, I just figured it was a technicality to tell me they were false, wrong, so I went to the meeting, and it..it .. it was more like some sort of welcome home party or something, with a whole bunch of people who were my family. My real mom was there, she's terrific, my dad, I've got two older brothers, Asa my grandfather was there of course and I even have a twin sister"

"Really?"

"Yeah, we aren't identical or anything like that and we also have different fathers"

"What?"

"Yeah" Natalie told him as she went on to explain what happened to her, that as a baby she was taken from the Buchanan's and given to Walter Balsom, taken by a mad man named Mitch Laurence, her Sisters father, and that just a few months ago when Mitch had come back to Llanview after being supposedly dead he had announced that Jess was his daughter and that there was another child, her. Natalie explained all about how Roxy hadn't known where Walter had gotten her from and that she never asked any questions.

After telling him the whole story, Natalie got quiet and so did John as he processed what she had just told him.

"Wow! Talk about a fairy tale huh? Always knew you were to good to be just some ordinary con artist from AC," he told her as he looked pasted CJ again and gave her a smirk. She met his smirk with hers.

"So what about Roxy, obviously your brother Rex is here in town, where is she?"

"She's here, she's cleaned up her act, she doesn't drink..much anymore, she and I have made peace with my childhood, although it wasn't easy being here at first, I mean, I grew up with nothing when I should have had things and shouldn't have had to put up with things the way I did, so lets just say it took me a bit of a while not to be vengeful. I wasn't very nice at first but then when I got to know everyone, things, things changed and I found some things I never had before, Love and a family." she told him and he got real quiet for a minute.

"That's not true Nat, you had those things, we had those things, and we had them together, if only for a short time when we lived in my moms house together we were each others family and we.. I mean I loved you, and you knew that" he said a bit insecure of how exactly she felt back then, he had always felt although she was so young that she had loved him the same as he loved her, although they didn't act on it, but.. But with what happened before he left for Quantico he has always doubted it. Been insecure about it.

Natalie saw his insecurity about her love for him back then, she had done such a number on his head she thought, she turned her head to look at him, she reached her hand across her son and rested it on his that were resting on his stomach, he looked to see her staring at him, their eyes locked and he saw it before she even said it.

"We, we loved each other back then, and I knew it, you were my family" she told him with her words and with her eye's. They stood like that for a few minutes as their gazing at each other and the lateness of the night came upon Natalie, she started to slowly close her eye's against her own protest and fall asleep, into a content sleep.

John felt a tugging on his on the sleeve of his shirt as he woke to a pair of small blue eye's staring at him, CJ Smiled as he started to move around and John looked over passed the boy to see Natalie still asleep, he also noticed the alarm clock behind her and it said 6:30, he looked back a CJ who was trying to move out of the bed, he smiled at him, as the boy let out a small noise and John got up carefully out of the bed taking the baby boy with him.

"Lets be quiet and let your mom sleep Okay?" he said to the wide-awake boy as he took him from the room and downstairs. John walked into the kitchen with the boy and started to go into the refrigerator. He wasn't quite sure but he some how figured the boy would needed a bottle. He took one out and handed to the kid as he started to drink it, he held him and they walked back upstairs to Nat's room to see her still asleep in the bed, John noticed the rocker in the corner of her room and he sat in it as he held her son and he took his bottle.

John rocked in the chair and watched her as she slept, her peaceful sleep as he held something of such importance to her in his arms, something that seem to be, becoming of great importance to him and fast, he realized that last night as she spoke about him, as she became tear eyes and spoke of loving him so much, how had this happened and so fast, fast again. He fell for her so fast all those years ago, she was everything to him and now..Now again as he continued to watch her she was still so much to him, meant so much to him and now her son, a son he had at one time back then hoped, had almost seen them with, that was.. That was before she did what she did, and in his house none the less.

John looked at her and then looked at her beautiful child in his arms, how was he able to forgive her for that? He asked himself, he shook his head remembering how bitter he was, how he swore he would never forgive her, how he never expected it, all these years later and he still never quite understood it, he knew her, that wasn't something she would do and on purpose, and she was far from stupid, so he knew it was done on purpose.

He saw her start to stir and he shook his head, however it went down back then, what ever had happened to make him run to Quantico, now..Now was a different story, now they might have a chance, they were both older, wiser, yet the same inside, she has been thru the ringer again, with a man she loved and the Feds. He couldn't be bitter now, not now, not five years later. He didn't want to be, he just wanted to be, be with her, in her life, in her son's life even. He knew what he needed to do, he needed to figure out this stuff with her dead husband, figure it out, as a fed, get them off her back, and then, then as himself, then he would show her, show how much she still means to him, show her that he wasn't bitter and that now was there time to love each other and be together for ever, to make all there dreams come true.


	13. Chapter 13

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**Chapter 13**

Natalie started to stir and tossed her body over on her other side to face her son when she opened her eyes' slowly and he was gone, she didn't panic, she turned her body back the other way and looked straight ahead of her to see John watching her as she did. He was rocking CJ in the rocking chair as the baby boy took his bottle. She smiled curiously as she sat up and they never wavered their eye contact.

"Hey, why didn't you wake me? You don't need to be taking care of him," she told him as she got up and walked over to them in the rocking chair

"I didn't mind, I don't mind, you look like you needed the sleep" he told her as she stood in front of him and CJ, she put her arms down to take the boy but her son didn't move to come to her, she shook her head thinking how odd that was, how comfortable he was in Johns arms, how attached he seemed to be, and already, it wasn't like CJ to be this comfortable or attached to someone especially a man and so fast, he went to woman, he almost shied away from men. She shook her head and backed up.

"Do you want coffee, I'm making some," she asked as she started to walk towards the door, she stopped in front of her mirror near the door and looked at her messy hair and the rumbled clothes she was wearing.

"Look at what a mess I am" she said as she grabbed her brush from the nearby dresser and started to brush it out. John just stared at her, she looked beautiful and as she brushed her hair he had to look away before he got himself excited, he was holding her son, that would be really awkward he told himself as he got up too, Natalie finished brushing her hair and straightening her clothes a bit and they both walked down stairs for coffee as he answered her questions from before.

"I would love some coffee," he said as he followed behind her carrying her son.

Once downstairs she took CJ from him and put him in his highchair to play as they sat with coffee at the kitchen table. They were quiet and Natalie could tell by looking at him that there was something on his mind.

"What's going on? What are you thinking about?" she asked up front, just like the Natalie he knew.

"Nothing.. Really.. "

"Just spit it out John" she told him and he smiled, just like the Natalie he loved.

"I'd like to help get you out of this mess, this mess with the FBI, I mean, if I can figure out what's going on, what they are so desperately looking for, maybe then you'll have peace, peace and quiet"

Natalie stood quiet for a minute, she was beginning to get a bit bitter when she decided to calm for a minute and ask a few more questions, and tell him a few things.

"I don't know what the Feds are looking for? They won't tell me, and they have made my life so miserable over the past year, and I don't even mean with the death of my husband and all the shit about him working for them, every time I start to move on or am happy for a few minutes, they come back into my life and take all I've got, my grandfather is a very powerful man, he's even had them stop by pulling connection and they do, they leave me alone for a little bit but then they always seem to send someone else, this time its You John."

"Its got to be something really important Natalie if they don't just stop"

"I get that John, but I Don't Know what it is they are looking for and I don't have it! They have ruined so many things that should have been happy times for me this past year and I will not cooperate with them any longer so if you have any FBI or case related questions you can get the Heck out of my House Now!" she told him, calm at first but then she got short towards the end, John just looked at how upset and mad she got when she thought he was asking her questions and turning back into a Federal agent rather than her Friend, rather than a man that was in Love with her once and still was.

"Natalie" he said as he approached her cautiously

"If you tell me everything you know then maybe we can move on with things wit life, you and I and your boy" he told her and she got a bit more mad, something about what he just said set her off

"Get out John" she told him, he looked at her confused

"Natalie?" he asked softly

She shook her head as she looked at him.

"I think you may be the worse of them all, coming here pretending to still be my friend, so that you can get information from me, that was the plan all along wasn't it, the feds knew we knew each other and that's why you are here cause you know they've already sent someone to befriend me, someone undercover to try and get nonexistent information from me, and that didn't work so now I guess they figured they send in the heavy guns so to speak, GET OUT!" she screamed a bit to loud and scared CJ. She walked over to her son took him out of the Highchair, walked towards the door and opened it for him to leave.

"Natalie that's not it, I would never, I.. I" he said as he got closer to the door and her, he saw the look in her eye and he knew there was no talking to her at this point

"Just leave John," she told him a bit more softly and he wasn't sure why, why her voice was softer, was it because her son was in her arms or was it because she was coming down from her anger. He didn't care why she was softer, he needed her to know he didn't want to help her because of the job but because he loved her and he knew telling her would be a huge mistake but he just couldn't leave without her knowing some how.

John was about to walk passed her as she held her son in her arms, he walked in front of her and he stopped quickly, he brought his lips to hers in a quick but urgent telling kiss and then he backed up and saw her face, she wasn't expecting it, she was shocked by it and frozen by it.

"I'll leave Natalie, but I'm not going far, and I'm not leaving you this time, we will figure this out and finally have our chance to move on, to have a life like we should have all those years ago." John said as he walked out the door to her house, leaving her and her son standing in the doorway shocked and still frozen.

When John was successfully out the door and on the path to his car he touched his lips with his fingers as he walked, he smiled weakly with the feeling of her lips after all this time on his, he could still taste hers on him and he shook his head as he got in his car.

John pulled out his cell phone and made a call.

"Thompson, Its Mcbain, I need a little help with something, are you still in the AC office?"

"Okay, then it'll have to wait till tomorrow, what time can we meet? Good, what I need is inside info on a case that the Vegas office isn't telling me, they are keeping something from me and Its very important that I find out what it is. I need to know everything they aren't telling me about Christian Vega and why they are hounded his wife. Its personal, okay thanks I owe you tomorrow at noon at Finnegan's bar and tavern"

Natalie was standing still by the front door, John had just kissed her and walked out the door, right after he basically said he wasn't leaving and giving up, did he mean he still wanted to be in her life after all these years? That was what it sounded like but how? How could he after what she put him thru and how could she let him in completely, he's a fed, he would allows be one, that was his dream and even if he helped her with this, helped to clear things up, she could never be with a Federal agent not after she knew the tricks they'd do to anyone, the way they'd use anyone to get what they wanted and needed, she shook her head, she let him in last night, told him things as a friend but not anymore, she had a lapse in judgment last night, she saw him as her friend, the man she once loved last night but not anymore, she couldn't afford to.

Natalie went up stairs with CJ and they got dressed and ready for the day, she had work to keep her busy today, and then even tonight she had plans with a few friends to have dinner, CJ was spending the night at her mom's. She so needed to have a good time, she so needed to get John Mcbain and the FBI out of her head and just have some fun.

John walked into the police station, he went up to the Commissioners Assistant and asked to speak with him, the Assistant again was a bit cold to him and he ignored it, he was told to go into Bo's office and he did.

"What can I do for you Agent Mcbain?" Bo asked as he motioned for John to take a seat.

"I want to be on the level with you, honest, about some stuff and maybe then you can help me to figure out why your niece is being hassled so much, figure out exactly what us Feds are looking for" John told Bo and Bo looked on leery at first.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why do you want to help my niece so desperately, what is in it for you?" Bo asked as John smiled she was definitely a Buchanan, it seems Buchanan's don't hold punches.

"Honestly and to the point?" john asked and Bo shook his head

"I'm in love with her, been in love with her since she was eighteen" he told Bo and Bo was now confused.

"She and I knew each other five years ago, before she knew she was a Buchanan" he saw Bo's face soften towards him a bit

"And why am I suppose to believe you, you know we have had all sorts of Feds here pretending to be all sorts of things, although this one would take the cake if it was fake, none the less why should I believe you?"

"Because you are a man who goes on instincts, I can tell and I can tell you believe me, that your gut is telling you that I am telling the truth. You could always ask your niece although see seems to be pissed at me at the moment and being stubborn, so she might not tell you or tell you the truth."

"Well... my gut is telling me something about you, not sure what it is, haven't quite put my finger on it, maybe I believe you, and say I did and you turned out to be just as bad if not worse than the others, I wont take kindly to it, Natalie is the closest thing I have to a daughter she and I are extremely close and if I was to ask her about you she would tell me the truth, she tells me everything, like when she fell in love with that asshole Vega and why she named her son what she did." Bo told John and John was a bit confused by that last part of his statement but ignored it for now.

"So, does that mean we can work together on this for your nieces sake or what? Cause for some reason the FBI is keeping me in the dark about this case, so maybe together we can figure things out" John asked him and Bo nodded.

Bo told him everything he knew about the case and John informed Bo of all the stuff the FBI has given him which wasn't anymore than Bo knew, they worked on it a bit for several hours and Bo could tell the type of person John was by how he acted, how he talked about Natalie, John even commented on his great nephew CJ. Bo didn't want to admit it but he was starting to like John and like him a lot.

John was just getting ready to leave the station, it was around 7, he didn't get much more info than they already knew and he was starving when Bo approached him.

"I'm heading over to get some dinner at Capricorn, if you don't have plans why don't you join me?" he asked and John accepted.

John and Bo walked into Capricorn and John spotted her the minute he walked in, she was with a few man and she was laughing, he stood frozen as he saw how beautiful she looked. He saw the back of one of the men approach her, he watched as she went with the man out onto the dance floor to dance to a slow dance, John felt the jealously build up inside of him and instead of following Bo to a table he approached her and the guy on the dance floor, he tapped the man on the shoulder roughly and aggressively as the man turned.

"Johnny is that you?" Michael McBain asked as John looked on at him stunned to see his brother that he hadn't seen to years stand in front of him, in front of him and dancing with Natalie.


	14. Chapter 14

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**Chapter 14**

"Michael?" John asked looking at his younger brother. It had been years, too many to count and he was all grown up. John smiled weakly as he was a bit in shock. He looked at Natalie who looked straight at him for a moment and then she turned her gaze to Michael.

Natalie was confused for a minute then looking between the two of them she remembered John had a brother Michael. She had seen pictures of him in the house when she lived there. She had just met Michael tonight when she came out with her sister Jess and a few friends. When he introduced himself he never used his last name. Natalie stood with the men for a few minutes and then looked at John.

"Excuse me, I see my uncle over there I need to speak to him" Natalie said and John watched her walk a way before he turned back to his brother.

"What are you doing in Llanview Johnny? Last time I talked to mom you were undercover in Quebec or something," Michael asked. John motioned for them to walk off the dance floor and over to a table so they could catch up.

"I'm on a case," John said as they walked to a table a few away from Natalie and Bo. John glanced at Natalie who caught his gaze and Michael noticed it.

"What's going on? Do you and Natalie Buchanan know each other, Oh wait...I know I why you are here, you're questioning her, bothering her for the FBI right? I really wish you people would leave her alone already," Michael told him a bit agitated

"Michael can't talk about the case besides there's more to it then that. I wanna know how you've been and how long have you been in Llanview"

"Almost a year, long enough to see first hand what you Assholes keep trying to do, I've gotta tell you Johnny this is a small town and the Buchanan's contribute generously to everything in this community, the hospital, the community center, and... and well if you haven't noticed already the folk around here don't take kindly to what the Feds have put Nat thru." Michael told him and John let out a sigh.

"Michael I'm only going to say this once and then I want to talk about something else, I'm not here to do any harm to Natalie, none. We actually knew each other a long time ago so now lets talk about you and then you can tell me all the awful things the feds have been up to. Cause for some reason they are keeping it from me," John told Michael and then they spoke about how he was a Doctor here at the hospital, an intern for the past year, also told John how he's really only officially been introduced to Natalie tonight, he's known of her, everyone knew of her, she was known for all the hours she puts in volunteering at the community center and she's in charge of organizing the Christmas party for the sick kids at the hospital.

Michael then got to the subject of the Feds; he shook his head and looked across at her and Bo.

"She's amazing, I mean, I was there when she was delivering her baby. The fucking jerks barged in the room as she was about to push her son out. It was suppose to be a joyous occasion that was already dampened cause her husband was dead and they barged right in, like assholes. The doctors had a huge fight with them just as she was trying to push CJ out, I mean what jerks, and then they barely let her have five minutes with her son before they started in on her, as if they thought she would tell them something to either get them to go away. Or that maybe all the pain she went thru would make her say something. She was amazing, she just ignored them as she pushed Christopher John out, she didn't let them ruin it for her. Or at least she didn't want anyone to see that they ruined it for her; she's tough, and damn stubborn. But with the look that was on your face when you came over to us, I can tell you already know that."

Michael said a few things that really bothered John; first he said the rat bastards barged in when she was having her baby, which was horrible. He could just imagine her alone having a baby of a dead man who betrayed her, and then to be treated like that. Questioned and harassed at such an important moment in her life, he shook his head as he heard Michael excuse himself for a minute when his pager went off. John nodded to him and thought about what else Michael had said that bothered him well not really bothered puzzled him. Her son's name, she called him CJ, but Michael said his name to be Christopher John. He had just assumed all this time that her son's name was Christian Jr, that was where she got CJ, but.. but.. why the name Christopher John. Could it be possible she named CJ's middle name after him, and why? He shook his head, 'that was ridiculous' he thought but then he remembered Bo's weird comment this afternoon, no! He told himself it isn't possible as he saw Michael walk back to the table.

Natalie sat with Bo, they were silent and her Uncle knew if she was silent for this long that something was definitely bothering her, more than bothering.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked her softly after a few more minutes of silence occurred

"Nothing to talk about" she said looking towards John and Michael's table to John sitting there.

"Honey" Bo told her softly and she understood he knew something was up.

"I knew him, okay? Along time ago, we were friends. He helped me out a lot, I did something stupid to make him leave and get on with his life, that's all" she told him quickly a bit nervously. She knew out of everyone her Uncle Bo and her sister Jessica were the only ones that could tell she was lying or covering up something. Bo just gave her a look telling her he didn't believe her and knew there was more.

Natalie sighed at his look, she took a deep breath and then decided to tell him, cause she knew if she didn't he'd nag her till she did.

"Okay here goes and don't stop me cause you know how hard this is for me and once I stop I will not open up again, deal?" she said smiling at him, he smiled back telling her it was a deal and she started to touch on the key parts of things.

"I was eighteen, he was older, we became friends.."

"It looks to me like more than friends" he butted in

"Hey, we had a deal, no interrupting remember?" she told him smirking as he motioned for her to continue

"We got along great, my living arrangements with Roxy wasn't the best and I couldn't afford school, and a place of my own so...so he offered for me to stay at his house, I did, and it was... it was.." she tried to find the right words, a huge smile forming on her face as she remembered how wonderful it had been.

"It was nice, I guess" Bo said seeing her beautiful wide smile as she tried to describe it.

"Yeah, nice, that's what it was, so things were going smoothly, he was great to me, you know. I've told you about all I went thru back then, he was good to me, better than anyone had ever been to me. So... so he was always talking about these dreams of his, I mean I didn't believe in dreams till I came here. You know, what good would it have done for me to dream, like anything I dreamed about would have happened, but never mind. So his dreams were of being an agent for the FBI. He wanted to make his dad proud, his dad had been murdered years ago when he was younger, so that was his biggest dream. Then there was another, a few, but they were similar, he wanted someone to grow old with, to have a family, someone to love." Natalie said and she paused as she got a bit emotional for a minute, she looked over at him again and she gained some sort of strength.

"So.. Things were going smoothly, we were getting even closer, he had feelings for me and I knew it, he didn't try to hide them, and I... I well I"

"You had them too," Bo said and she gave him a look for the interruption

"Sorry go ahead," Bo told her

"Yes, I had them to although we never acted on them, it was hard living in the same house spending so much time together but we never did, I mean I was eighteen uncle Bo, he was twenty-seven, he was ready to settle down and all I wanted was to get the hell out of AC and have a better life. One night we almost gave into it but I stopped cause it wouldn't have been fair to him, after that things were a bit different and tense when one day his partner came to my job to tell me, tell me he got accepted to the program at Quantico, and that he declined it, just turned it down, and that the reason was most likely cause of me and how he felt about me, so..." Natalie said taking a breath of fresh air

"So I did something to hurt him and that I knew would have him packing, I slept with someone in his house when I knew he'd be coming home, actually I set it up to look like I slept with someone, the guy he was an old friend that we use to work together hustling people out of money, but I know you don't want to here that " she said and she laughed to break the tension that she felt building up inside of her. He smiled at her.

'And that is it, that was it, he was hurt, I conned him and hurt him, he left the next day in search of being a Fed and I went back to being alone."

"That was till we found you," he said as he reached over and touched her cheek, he gave her a fatherly smile and she smiled back although her eyes were teary.

"Yeah, that's when my family found me"


	15. Chapter 15

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**Chapter 15**

Natalie kissed her Uncle as he got up to leave.

"Smile Honey, things will work out this time, I just know it, I feel it in my gut" Bo told her as he kissed her and saw John walk up behind her. He looked at john and then backed up a bit, he slowly walked away from her, she turned to see him walk away and she saw John standing there

"Hey" he said awkward not knowing how she was going to act towards him, act like he was the enemy or a friend

"Hey" she answered back softly not sure if she wanted to speak to him, she tried so hard not to look into his eye's, his blue eyes that were capturing hers

"Where's CJ tonight?" John asked as they stared into each other's eyes.

"He's staying over night with my mom" she told him and John's eye's widened a bit, they almost became desire filled, he looked at her almost like he wanted to kiss her or take her home to bed, she too started to feel strange, feel uncomfortable by what she was feeling when they both came out of there trance when someone cleared their throat, they turned to see Jessica and DA Hugh Hughes standing there.

"Natalie, I'm going home with Nash, do you want us to take you home?" Jessica asked as she looked between Natalie and a man she didn't recognize.

"I'm sorry did we interrupt something?" Jessica asked as John looked towards Jessica, he extended out his hand for her to shake as he spoke.

"Hi, I'm John Mcbain" John told Jessica and Jessica shook his hand and looked over at Natalie, Jessica knew all about John Mcbain, the John Mcbain, when Natalie came to Llanfair to live after they found her, when they eventually got close Natalie told Jess everything, the twins were extremely close. After a few minutes of silence Jessica spoke up.

"Nice to meet you John, I'm Jessica, Natalie's sister and this is Hugh Hughes" Hugh shook Johns' hand and said hello. The awkwardness was getting almost unbearable when Hugh spoke.

"Nat, how about I take you home so you don't have to go with Jess and Nash, we still need to discuss business about the Community center" Hugh told her and he didn't know John, he didn't actually care who he was but he did notice he got a steamed look on his face when Hugh suggested taking Natalie home.

"Hugh I'm not up to discussing work or business tonight, I'll just go home with Jess" she told him not wanting to cause more aggravation for anyone, John already looked pissed, Jealous from before, before he knew she was dancing with his brother and now, she didn't need anymore drama in her life, not tonight.

"We don't have to discuss business, and its not a problem I'm going in that direction" he told her and she nodded yes just as John was about to say something, something she was sure had to do with him taking her home. Hugh smiled and then excused himself to go get his jacket as Jessica told John it was nice meeting him, Jess turned to Natalie, hugged her and whispered in her ear.

"You never said how cute he was" Natalie smiled at Jess' words and told her she would see her. After both John and Nat watched her walk away John turned to Nat.

"Let me take you home" he asked her and she shook her head back and forth a few times, she got a bit teary eyes as she shook her head, she thought about home, a place where you are comfortable and surrounded by people or someone you love, a place that she use to have with John at his home, his moms home. Her home now, it was home but was surrounded with a different Love, her son, and her love for her son.

"Natalie, please let me take you home, don't be so stubborn, I meant everything I said earlier today"

"No" she said softly, "its for the best" she added as she started to walk away towards the door where she saw Hugh waiting for her, John let her walk away knowing there was nothing he could do, could do to change her mind, she was stubborn and until he figured out what the feds were up to, until he figured out how to get them off her back, he knew the more he pushed her the further away she would go.

Natalie approached the door and looked back briefly, he looked at her, their eyes locked for a minute and she started to walk out the door with Hugh.

A half hour later John sat in his car up the block from her house, he needed to make sure she got home alright, he didn't know this Hugh guy and he needed to make sure there was no funny business. Who was he kidding, he needed to make sure their wasn't anything going on between this guy and Natalie, to make sure his jealously wasn't warranted. He saw the car pull up, and park in her driveway, but she didn't come out of the car, it was fifteen minutes later and she still didn't come out of the car and go in the house.

John's jealousy started to rise again as he decided he couldn't sit any longer in the car, he walked closer to her house, across her lawn and over to her front porch where she was unable to see him from the car and the driveway.

After a few more minutes of standing on her porch trying to figure out if he should approach the car he heard her thank Hugh for the ride and start to walk towards the house. John walked a few feet away from the front door and sat on the wooden swing that hung from the rafters.

Natalie had her key in her hand and placed it in the lock when she realized she wasn't alone, there was someone on the porch, the swing to be exact, she heard the sound of the chain from the swing and she also knew who it was without turning around to catch his eyes, to see him.

Natalie let out a sigh knowing it was him as she turned to see him stand and walk a few feet closer to her, their eye's locked for a few seconds and she was lost, becoming found almost, something found her, their past, their connection, their love in a sense. She was having a hard time thinking when she asked.

"Are you following me Detective?" she asked him softly and he smiled slightly. Remembering the first time she asked him that.

"Yes" he answered as he came a bit closer, she continued to lose her calm exterior with having him so close, she wasn't fighting it although she knew she should, she was just caught up in who they once were. Without even blinking or wavering of eye's, he leaned in and kissed her hard on the lips, his tongue making a path into her mouth and savoring every last inch of it. After about five minutes they pulled apart breathless staring at each other yet again.

"What do you want Detective?" she asked trying not to remember he wasn't that same detective, he was a federal agent now. John didn't answer with words, he answered with actions; he pulled her body to his by her waist and starting again taking her lips for his own.

She received his kiss, the kiss she was secretly dying to feel on her lips since she first saw him, then she came closer to him, touched his body with hers. Natalie felt his mouth go down to her neck and she was continuing to get lost in it, in his actions. She started walking them backwards towards the swing.Asshe came upon the swing and started to lay her back down on it his body followed hers and laid slightly on top of hers.

John's mouth started to descend further down her neck to the little bit of cleavage she had been showing tonight. The few buttons on her shirt at the top weren't buttoned. Lowering his mouth tasting in between her breasts, he was enjoying something that he had wanted for over five years. Something he longed for over five years, her taste, the taste of her flesh. His body pressed up against hers more tightly as they laid back further on the swing. He was lost in her, in all that she was and all that he wanted, all that he loved when they both heard her cell phone ring from her purse a few feet away that laid on the floor of the porch.

The ringing was enough to bring Natalie out of her state of desire for him and to realize what she was doing, she got up, and moved a bit and he was forced to sit up too. She didn't go for her phone as the ringing stopped and she looked at him. John knew the moment was lost but refused not to give it one last try, he took her lips again hoping to start it again, start something that they should have done years ago, something maybe she wouldn't have been able to throw away so easily.

John didn't feel the tenderness on her mouth as he took her lips again, he stopped, and he knew it was gone, over for now, hopefully not forever. He watched as she quickly moved to her front door, opening it and only turning back slightly for a minute to use her words. Words meant to hurt, to push him away.

"I can't love you, I didn't back then, and I can't afford to let myself now" she told him as she lied about loving him back then, she didn't want him to know, she never wanted him to know, well at least she never wanted to actually tell him, she had hinted to it yesterday in there talks but she knew now wasn't there time, it couldn't be not when he still had his dreams with the FBI being fulfilled, and that was just something she could never live with not after all she had put her thru. It was best to completely end it now, end anything and everything, end all the feeling that was soaring thru her body for him.

Natalie left a stunned and shocked John standing on her porch, as she knew she hurt him with her words this time but she had no other choice.

John heard her words and they cut to the core of him. They almost seemed to be purposely hurtful, like she was definitely doing this to get rid of him, he shook his head, "if she wants to get rid of me I'm gone" he said to himself out loud as he stormed off her porch.


	16. Chapter 16

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**Chapter 16**

Natalie ran into the house and slammed the door after she told him her lies, the Lies of never loving him and not loving him now. She turned her back to the door, lowered herself to the ground and started to cry, cry so intensely as her eye's shed all they had inside of them.

John was mad, hurt, he drove to AC as fast as he could. He shook his head trying to get her purposely hurtful words out of it. But he just couldn't, why? Why would she do that, say those things to him, especially after just about admitting she loved him to back then, after hinting to it last night.

John walked into his mothers house the house he once shared with her all those years ago and he lost it, he couldn't hold things inside any longer, he threw his damn jacket across the room, and flung himself on the couch, he ran his hands threw his hair before they rested on his eyes, his teary eyes. He had just found her again after all these years, and she did it again, she hurt him more than words could describe, he laid back on the couch and closed his eyes.

John tried to fall asleep on the couch but couldn't and he just didn't have the energy to go up to his room, his mom was still away, she was never home actually and he hated being in this house alone, after Quantico training he came back her for a few days four years ago but that was it, e couldn't bare to be here without her. He put his feet up on the arm of the couch and started to drift off as he thought about her some more, thought about how he had seen her after all these years and that she was a mother.

He smiled with closed eye's as he thought about watching her with her son, the way she was so gentle and just loved him so much, how her face lit up when she spoke about him. He felt his anger for her fade again, just like his bitterness, from all those years ago faded as when he saw her. He fell asleep knowing what ever reason she had for pushing him away, the stupid reasons that he figured had to do with the fact that he was a Fed, that it didn't matter, he loved her and he wasn't going to let her go, not again, he wasn't going to run and hide. He knew she felt something for him back then, even if it wasn't love she felt something and he knew with a little time now that he knew where she was and what has been going on in her life, that he could get her to love him the way he had always loved her.

He drifted off to sleep determined, determined to have her back in his life, after, after he resolved this situation about the government harassing her.

John walked into Finnegan's bar and tavern on 3rd street in AC; he took a seat in the back and waited for his friend for Mathew Thompson to show up. Thompson was an old Colleague from his first year in the FBI, they worked a few cases together, and Thompson went on to do better things, bigger things

Mathew climbed the ladder so to speak, he was up high in the bureau, he was meeting him today to tell him about Christian Vega, and what the Fed's weren't telling him, and also why he of all people were sent to try to try and get info from Natalie. He ordered a beer as he waited is friend.

"Mcbain, you bum, you look good man" Thompson said as he approached john and they man hugged when john stood.

"You to, buddy, you too" John told him as the two men sat.

After a few minutes of small talk catching up Thompson looked at John and asked him a question as he pushed a file across the table to him.

"You said this was personal, how personal Johnny?" he said using his first name, which told John of the seriousness of the case and the situation.

"Very serious"

"Yeah, I guess I didn't have to ask, its in the file" he told John and john was puzzled for a minute. He took a minute and read thru the file

"So it was a set up, they sent me purposely cause she and I had a past" he told his friend and the man nodded his head.

John continued to read the file in silence for a few minutes; he looked up after reading something that upset him to no end.

He gave a small bitter smirk " they locked her up, held her without a lawyer"

" For two days" John asked as he read the file

"Yeah, and she was pregnant, she had morning sickness and they wouldn't even ease up on her, they wouldn't stop with the questions" his friend chimed in as he saw John barely holding it together

"What the hell do they think she knows that keeps making them put so much pressure on her" john asked as his friend just motioned for him to read on, john read on.

"Her Husband was working for Flynn Lawrence, smuggling drugs?" he questioned as he read on

"So the kind artist smuggled drugs to clients thru his paintings, son of a bitch"

"Read on Johnny it gets better"

"So we were trying to flip him huh?'

"We did flip him, the only thing was... according to those files... was that the information he obtained for us, that info what ever it was incriminated more than just Lawrence, Vega's info also increminated a few bigger sources, a major drug family doing buisness in the Northeast. Vega supposedly has a conversation of all parties on CD."

"So that's why they wont leave her alone, they think she has the CD, it was never recovered when his body was found" John told him shaking his head and disgusted for being a Fed right now, the things in the folder that they did, just invading every aspect of her life, he was having a hard time thinking straight with those things, with learning those things, he just wanted to punish each and every one of them, one by one. But something wasn't adding up.

"But why? Why so severe? What exactly was on that CD?" Thompson shook his head, as if saying no, he couldn't tell him.

"No John, I'm not getting in the middle of this, I wont"

"Matt, you owe me and big time, tell me" he told him.

"This was enough John, I can't go into anymore that I know"

"I love her" was all John told him

"I already know that, its in the file," he told john and john looked confused for a minute till he realized it, they had been watching them, him and her since he stepped foot in Llanview.

"How's Sara? The kids?" John asked him and Matt knew what he was getting at.

'She's got a kid Matt but you already know that, she has no one to protect her, not like Sara would if the feds or anyone else thought she was holding out something on them, you wouldn't sit by idly and watch as they continued to harass the woman you loved. Tell me, it goes no further than my ears," he told his friend and his friend was silent for a minute.

"Its only been a few days but I love her and even her kid, I've got a real chance here you know, a real shot to have more to my life than the job, help me, do it for me, cause you know I would do it for you, if the roles were reversed.

Matt thought about it for a few minutes, he shook his head

"You wont find this in any file but the word around is, well... the info, the CD contained a few names of a few influential people in the Bureau, a few top ladder intervals who need the CD destroyed. If it got out, it .. Well lets just say the rumor is it would turn the whole Bureau upside down," Thompson told him and he told him he had to go.

"Take care Mcbain, and I hope it all works out for you, if you need anything else let me know," he told John as he got up to leave they shook hands

"Take care of the Sara and those kids alright pal?" he told him and they both smiled

"I always do, they are all that matters most" Thompson told him and left John to read thru the files some more


	17. Chapter 17

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**Chapter 17**

John continued to read thru the files on her, her dead husband, Flynn Lawrence and the Feds case against him and the Santi's. He looked at a few pictures of her in the file, all sorts of pictures were in the file, his friend really did his homework he thought, there was everything he needed to know and no one was telling him. He heard a voice and he looked up.

"My gosh Mcbain is that you?" The familiar older man said as he approached John at the table, john stood and smiled as he saw Kenny, his old partner.

"Look what the cat drug in, good to see ya man, how have ya been?" Kenny asked as he and john shook hello and then sat.

"Can't complain much, how bout yourself, heard you finally retired Huh?"

"Yup, I'm retired and loving it, so what brings you back to Ac Agent Mcbain?" Kenny asked as he noticed a few pictures sticking out of a file on the table.

"Nothing much just some work related stuff" John said as he quickly tired to push the last of the pictures completely into the file folder on the table.

"Yeah, really, cause those pictures look a lot like a red head I remember, one that maybe you fancied along time ago" he told John, john looked away for a minute and then back at Kenny.

"Retired and still nothing gets pasted you Huh?" John said and he gave the older gentlemen a smirk

"Taught you everything you know didn't I," he said and smiled, they stood silent for a few minutes

"You found her again or are you looking?" he asked John and John looked at him seriously

"Oh, I found her again, accidentally, sort of, actually the Feds helped me find her again"

"Is that right? She most certainly is still a looker isn't she?' Kenny told him as he took one of her pictures and held it

"She's got a kid too huh?" he said as he saw the picture of Nat with her son. John just nodded

"Husband? Is he in the picture?" he asked and John was confused by his questions

"What? Why would you ask about her husband?"

"Just wondering that's all, I just remember how crazy you were for her although you always said she was your friend, your roommate. You seen her yet."

"Yeah, I've seen her, we've spoken" john said softly in a depressed tone

"Why the sour face, her husband is still in the picture isn't he?"

"Yes, No, sort of, he's dead and he sounds like he was a real piece of work too."

"So?" he asked and he could tell John was still in love with her by his words and the actions

"So nothing"

"You still in love with her Huh? After all this time she's been the only one for you, hasn't she?"

"You sure do ask a lot of questions don't you, for a retired cop and all" John told him smirking as he said his words. Kenny smiled back at John

"Its written all over your face son, you still love her, maybe even more now"

Kenny told him continuing to smile, John was hesitant at first, he wasn't going to keep it a secret. Even if he could keep it from everyone he just didn't want to get into it again right now. After a few minutes of silence Kenny spoke again

"Yup, I knew it you still Love her... so what she did... its all forgiven, I mean she and you, you spoke about it right?" John got curious for a minute to what he was talking about, he could tell Kenny seem to know something, something about what he was unaware so he played along.

"Yeah, we spoke about it, came to an understanding" was all John said seeing if he could trick Kenny into giving up some info

"Good, so why so gloom, you find a woman that you loved so much once, find her after all these years, find out how much she really loved you back then and this is the way you act, the way you look" Kenny told him and John looked at him with curious eye's.

"What do you mean find out how much she really loved me back then? Why would you say something like that?" John asked as Kenny realized John still knew nothing about what she did all those years ago, the truth of what she did all those years ago.

"What? You set me up, didn't you? I guess I taught you right Huh?" the older man said shaking his head with a smile on his face

"Kenny, tell me what's going on, or what went on?"

"I guess there's no reason not to now, its...its... its been a long time, its probably time you knew anyways and she is probably still much to stubborn to tell you" Kenny told him and John didn't say a word, he waited for Kenny to start speaking again.

"I told her Man, I told her back then about Quantico, even about you turning it down" John heard Kenny's words and he was starting to get a strange feeling come upon him, almost as if after all these years he was realizing something.

"You told her, told her I turned it down? When? When did you tell her?" he asked almost knowing his answer, almost realizing the answer to a question that he had asked himself a thousand times over the last five years, Why? The questions of Why she was with someone else in his home when she cared so much about him, about each other.

" That day... that day you found her, the day you kicked her out of your house, the day you thought she didn't love you, the day you decided to go to Quantico and make that dream of yours a reality" he told John and he saw John close his eye's for a brief second, john brought his hands to his face and covered his eye's for a few minutes.

"She did it for you, she didn't want to see you turn that dream down because of her." was all Kenny had to say, John opened his eyes' and looked at him. John barely said a word as he got up to leave, he started to just walk away when he remembered he left the file on the table, he walked back towards Kenny and the table, he grabbed the file, and looked at Kenny once more.

"Thanks, you up for a little investigation work?" he asked Kenny and the man smiled.

"Always, what do you have in mind?"

John sat back down for a few minutes and he started going thru the files with Kenny, he could see the older man getting almost just as upset as John did when he read thru all those files, they talked and then Kenny was blunt and asked him a question that john wasn't expecting to be asked, not that the question wasn't on his mind, not that the solution wasn't on his mind but it caught john off guard all the same.

"Are you quitting now or after this is all resolved?" John was still confused on when the best time for him to quit the bureau was, he had wanted to quit the minute he heard what they did to her, was doing to her, the minute he realized how corrupt and heartless a place it was, he just wasn't sure if it was more beneficial to quit now or wait till after he saw her thru this, maybe he could get more info still being on the inside, well sort of since they weren't telling him anything.

"Still undecided as to when is the best time, I'd love nothing more than to tell them to stick the fucking job right now but it may be better if I wait, wait till this is over." John told him and then he told him about what he needed him for, to try and dig up shit on the Santi's and Flynn, to see if there was any additional info on the two of them, anything that maybe connected them even more.

"I've gotta get back to Llanview, I'll keep in touch, Thanks Man, for everything" John told the older man and he left the bar.

John knew it was late, he had spent the whole day and part of the night at the bar with Kenny going over the case, trying to put it all together. It was now close to eleven pm and he knew he should wait till morning to see her, to confront her with the truth, with what he just found out, to tell her what he knew but... but he just couldn't. He learned so much today, not only about why the Feds were coming down on her, about the asshole her husband was, but... but he had reassurance today, reassured of what she felt for him all those years ago and why she did what she did, she didn't do it cause she didn't love him, she did it because she did. He had to see her and he wasn't waiting for the morning.

John ran up to her front door and started to knock on it gently at first but after a few minutes he started to bang on it.

Natalie had just come down stairs in her nightgown to get a glass of water, he mouth was dry and she was having a hard time sleeping, she was startled at first by the knocking on her door and then it turned to a banging, she was about to call 911 when she peeked out the front window and saw him so frantically banging on it. She unlocked and opened it shocked and a bit annoyed at the banging at this hour.

"What the hell is going on? You're going to wake CJ" she told him angrily as she opened t he door and he wasted no time, he moved himself into her home, grabbed her by the waist, he pushed her up against a wall and started to devour her lips as he spoke softly first.

"You love me, you always have"


	18. Chapter 18

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**Chapter 18 (NC-17)**

"You love me, you always have" John told her over and over in between parted lips as he pushed his body up against hers, pushing her more and more into the wall behind her. He didn't let up on his passion, and she didn't either.

Natalie was kissing him back, allowing him to pin her up against the front wall of her house, his lips, his mouth, they felt so right, they felt so wonderful, his taste was driving her crazy, the past five years she craved it and after they kissed the other night although she pushed him away she was craving it more and more, she was lost in the sensation, in the feelings when she realized what she was doing, she gently pushed him off of her and moved passed him towards her couch after throwing the front door shut.

John moved away after she walked out of his hold on her, he watched her close the front door and move over by her couch, she turned when she reached the couch, she had tears in her eye's, and she shook her head.

'John" she said softly barely able to get his name out, John walked closer to her, she put up one hand for him not to get to close but he ignored it, he took the hand in front of him and he placed it on his heart, he locked eye's with hers.

"Just feel Natalie, don't think, don't talk, just feel" he told her as he saw her teary eye's close, they stayed closed for a few minutes as he continued to hold her hand on his heart. He saw her open them up back up, her eyes and she tired to speak at first but nothing came out.

"John...I...we..." she started to say as he captured her lips with his quickly but softly to shut her up. He pulled away from her lips and looked at her closed eye's and knew she was having a hard time with this

"Don't fight it Nat, please Babe, its been five years coming, and... and well... I wanna make love to you, more than anything else, please just don't think, lets just feel"

John took her hand that he had on his heart, he brought it to his lips and kissed it tenderly as he saw her eye's open, she stared at him for a second and she asked.

"How? How are you so confident now, now that I love you, that I always loved you?" she asked, as he got teary eyed.

"That's not important right now, its the truth and we both know that, now we just have to trust the truth, feel it, feel the love that is inside, that was there then, and is still here now, Natalie I----"

"You always did talk to much, just shut up and make love to me before I change my mind" she told him as she cut of his words, she decided at that moment to feel, not to think or even talk for that mater, to just feel him and his love for her, at this moment in time nothing else mattered, how they felt for each other was all that was important as he started kissing her deeply again.

Natalie moved her hands to the buttons on his shirt as he took her lips, she slowly opened each button one by one, John 's lips moved down from her lips to her neck, as she got the last button opened, she arched her back up a bit and looked at him with the desire mirroring in his blue eye's, she smiled at him, he studied her beautiful face and took a moment to push her soft hair from her face, he brought his hand to her face, caressed it and then his slow grin appeared traveling across his face, she looked at him and just got breathless for a minute and then she felt him pick her up, he carried her up the stairs, as his shirt hung unbuttoned.

John carried her up to her bedroom, he gently placed her down on her feet, standing in front of him, and still making eye contact she moved in this time and took his lips for her own. She entangled her hands behind his head as she deepened her kisses and he pulled her body as close as possible, close enough to feel his ever growing need for her, his ache for her.

Slowly Natalie pulled away, she looked into his eye's standing feet away, she reached her hand down the hem on her nightgown and lifted it up over her head and threw it to the floor.

In front of him she stood, the vision of her beauty, a vision he had imagined in his head so many times, he saw her naked body walk closer to him, she pulled his shirt off his shoulders and then it fell to the floor. She moved her hand towards his button on his jeans, she gave him a serious look as she undid the button, he took his hands and helped her as she shed him of his pants, leaving him in his boxers.

Natalie moved her body in even closer this time as she brought her hand to his erection, she held him in her hand for a minute thru his boxers and then her other hand pushed them down towards the ground.

John felt her touch his flesh and he was on fire, all the love he had for her threatened to empty out at that moment but he refused it, he had waited so long for this that it had to last a bit longer, much longer, at least till he could be as close to her body as physically possible at least till he could be inside her.

He pushed her backward slowly towards her bed as his lips latched on to her flesh, her breasts, his mouth came upon her white perky breast as she fell back on the bed, he covered her body with his as he moved his mouth down her right breast and then onto her left, his tongue licked her hardened nipple as he heard her let out a moan of pleasure, he smiled inside and it just made him more determined to hear such pleasure driven sounds from her lips. He took her breasts in his mouth more urgently this time and she arched her back up in reaction to the sensation.

John brought his hand down to her core as his mouth continued its pleasing actions. He cupped her for only a second when she let out another moan, he took one finger and then another and entered her core with them as he heard her let out another moan.

Natalie was heated, she was more than heated, what she felt was so much more than heaven, it was love, his love for her, she continued to arch her back as she felt his actions, the actions that had her singing, humming to herself, enjoying this, something she never knew could feel like this, to feel so right, so unbelievably good and right, perfect.

He was bringing her to her breaking point and he knew it, she was fighting it, and he loved the fact that he could do this to her, bring her to such pleasure with his touch, he felt her run her hand down as far as she could and touch him but she couldn't exactly reach his erection which was a good thing he thought cause he too was on the verge of release. She instead grabbed on to his arms, pulled on his muscular arms as his fingers pushed deeper into her core.

Natalie's hands felt his muscle, his large shaped muscles as she felt the gratifying agony of his mouth and this fingers on her body, she moved her arms to his back and ran her fingers up and down it as she started to hum louder, she was close, so close and she needed him, all of him, not just now, not just like this, but everything that went along with this, with him, she could barely breath with how close she was but somehow, somehow she managed to get the words out, to moan them out in pleasure.

"I Love You, I always have" she told him in what seemed like a whispered, a hum almost as he felt he couldn't hold it any longer, he closed his eye's, he moved his body up on hers, he didn't have to try. His penis found its way into her core easily and perfectly. The same way his heart had all those years ago, the same way their hearts did now. He slowly and gently moved his body so he pushed as deep as possible, he watched her for a moment as he slowed a bit, her eyes were closed but then when she felt him slow she opened them, they locked eye's.

"Tell me again," he told her softly as he took his hand and wiped her hair from her face.

"I love You John, always have" she said as he smiled, his eye's glimmered, he felt her walls start to tremble and he pushed, pushed all of him, body and soul into her, she clenched him as he emptied all the evidence of his love for her into her.

"I Love you" was all he said as he came down from his release of Love. He gently slowed and stayed inside her for a few minutes as he body came down from its expression of love, they stared at each other. He asked her.

"Marry Me?" he asked her and her eyes filed with tears

"What?" she asked almost not believing what he just asked.

"I'm not leaving your body till you say yes," he told her and she couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, we will walk around like this till you say yes" he said and she chuckled

"Really? You already know you want to marry me and be wit home forever"

"I've known it for the past five years"

"Marry me, let me be the husband you so deserve, let me be Christopher John father, the way it was suppose to be all those years ago" he told her, she smiled. He saw her smile and he moved bringing what was left of his erection out of her. He moved to the side of her, laid down on the bed, pulled her body to his by his hands and held on to her as he waited for the answer he was confident was coming.

"How? How did you know what his real name was?" she asked confused as she got comfortable in his arms.

"Answer by question first then I'll answer all of yours," he told her, she turned her body slightly in his arms so she could face him; she met his eye's.

"This is crazy you know, I mean... my family, they will think I'm nuts, no one other uncle Bo and Jessica has even met you"

"Rex too, and it doesn't matter does it? I mean I'm not marrying them, I'm marrying you, I mean I want to marry you" he told her and she smiled at his words, he was so damn cute, and she was so in love with him from all those years ago.

"But the FBI, things are tough, I mean, you work for them remember, and I..."

"Natalie are you still, I mean, still going to be bitter about that, I thought, I mean," he said as he started to sit up in the bed when she stopped him.

"No, I love you, I couldn't be like that, not after what we just did, what I just experienced with you, I know you John, you aren't deceiving me, you love me and always have, I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time, I've just been thru so much and I ----"

"Natalie it doesn't matter, just say it, answer it with your heart an nothing else" he told her and she smiled bright.

"My body says yes, my soul says yes, my heart is screaming yes," she told him with a smile and then she said it,

"Yes, I'll marry you" he heard her and he grabbed the back of her head with his hands, he tangled his fingers in her hair and brought his body back down on top of hers and started to make love to her all over again.

Sometime early morning they were both woken to CJ's crying, he was hungry, Natalie started to get up out of John's arms when he woke and stopped her. He sat up.

"No, I'll go, I want to bond with him, with my son, if that's okay, I mean... that I call him my son already" he told her so sweet, he wanted so much for CJ to be his son, and after finding out what a horrible person Christian really was and how he had deceived her she had wanted almost anybody else in the world to be his dad.

"That's okay, Chris well... well didn't want children and well... he actually never knew I was carrying him, I never told him, I was afraid to" she told him and he looked puzzled, confused. They both continued to hear CJ.

"I'll get him a bottle and then you can tell me why you were afraid to tell Chris about being pregnant wit his child"


	19. Chapter 19

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**Chapter 19**

John returned five minutes later with CJ and a Bottle. Natalie lay in her bed and watched john as he walked in with her son. She was mesmerized by him holding her boy as he took his bottle, she smiled, she couldn't believe it, he still loved her, she still loved him after all these years, after all this heartache, all the heart ache and drama she had been enduring the past two years, he was her silver inning. He came and brought CJ in the bed next to her, and he got back in bed with them now.

"Morning Mommy's boy, how are you?" she asked CJ as she reached over and kissed him, she pulled him towards her a bit more as the boy drank, he smiled back at her as he sat there in between the two of them. They both watched CJ drink his bottle in silence for a few minutes when Natalie spoke.

"I can't believe it, I'm so sorry, I mean. I know I said it last night but I really am so very sorry... about giving you such a hard time, about being with the FBI, I never should have doubted who you were inside and even how you felt, even after you told me" she told him apologizing again.

"I'm quitting you know"

"What?" she asked softly, trying not to form a smile on her face as he too sat up in the bed, they both looked passed CJ in between them and locked eyes.

"When this is all over, not sure maybe I should just do it now, but all I know is I don't need to believe in that dream anymore. I would have already, that is quit but... I'm still confused about whether I should now or wait till I can get us Feds off your back. Maybe if I'm still one of them, maybe I can figure this out faster, easier even, and then... then we can put all them hassling you and CJ away and for good. I...I don't want you to have to worry about it, you know, them, I just want so to be happy"

"John, I'm not sure how I'm going to feel if you give up your dream for me, or if you were to resent me for doing it later on in life."

"You still don't get it do you? The thing is...I'd give up all my dreams for you, to be with you, back then and now, you are so much more important than that dream, you always were." he said and she crawled passed her son on the bed, she went to him on his side, she kneel on the bed in front of him, teary eyes and she leaned in and kissed him.

"John, you really mean that don't you?" she asked and he nodded his head and took quick kiss before sitting back some and looking back into her eye's.

"I need to tell you something about that night, the night you... you" Natalie started to tell him and he cut her words off

"I know, I know Nat, I ran into Kenny yesterday while I was in AC getting info on your case, he told me the truth" he told her and she was shocked for a minute there.

"John...I need to tell you the rest, the rest of it, the part he didn't know about...what you saw... what you think you saw... it was a con, I mean... that guy...Mark, he was a old friend and we... he and I... I never slept with him, I... I... couldn't do that, that's just not me" she told him and he smiled, he reached over and took her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, he continued to hold it.

"I know, I'm ashamed to say I hadn't figured it out sooner, all those years earlier but once Kenny told me, I kinda figured you conned me into believing it." he said as he smiled again. They sat for a minute staring at each other when he picked her hand that he was still holding up, he looked at it, it was her left hand.

"I think we need to get you a ring," he told he and she smiled.

"Why don't we go shop for one today" he asked her as she continued to smile, she grabbed his other hand and pulled him into her for a kiss, they were still kissing when they felt CJ crawl himself in between them and start to tug on Natalie. They pulled apart and laughed

"I guess he's gonna have to get use to sharing me huh?' she said as she pulled her boy in for a hug, she kissed his head and the boy tried to wiggle out of her arms.

"So... how about going for that ring today, its Sunday, you don't have to work do you?"

"No, I don't have to work but... but... how about you go tomorrow for that ring and surprise me, today... today lets just stay in bed all day" she told him and he smiled as CJ started crawling towards the edge of the bed, John was closest so he grabbed him before you fell off onto the floor.

"Yeah... I don't think us staying in bed all day is going to work," he said and he laughed.

'I guess you could be right" she said as she too laughed

"But... he does take a two hour nap in the afternoon, we could just hang around here, relax, catch up on things till then, then we can nap to" she said with a devilish smile on her face.

"That sounds good, we'll really need that nap, " he said with a grin.

Natalie started to get off the bed, she had already thrown her nightgown back on earlier when he went for the bottle and CJ, she was about to take CJ from his arms when she heard her phone ring. She paused for a minute as to decide if she should answer it and she did.

"Hello, Yeah Hi Jess, what? Oh Kevin and Kelly's anniversary party, tonight? No, no I didn't forget, six at the Palace, We'll be there, thanks, Bye" she watched him the whole time she was on the phone; he was smiling and playing with CJ.

"Ummm... are you... I mean"

"So we're having dinner at the Palace tonight? That's great, I can't wait to meet the future in-laws," he told her in his joking voice, she smiled

"You sure? Sure you want to do this, come tonight? Marry me even?" she asked getting a bit nervous and insecure. He nodded his head yes and she leaned into the bed, kissed him quickly, grabbed CJ from him and then took him inside to get him dressed for the day.

Forty -five Minutes later Natalie and CJ came down the stairs to the smell of Bacon. They walked into the kitchen to see him cooking breakfast.

"Oh My Gosh, that smells terrific, you're still a good cook huh?" she asked and he smiled, he motioned for her to sit and she did, she put CJ in his hi chair and they all ate breakfast.

A little while after breakfast, they took CJ in the living room and put him down in the pack and play to play with his toys as they sat on the couch, they looked at each other, they knew, they both knew if they were going to make this work, build there life together now, they needed it Fed free, Chris free, they needed to talk. John needed to know everything there was to know about Christian Vega, and Natalie needed to trust him enough to tell him every little miserable detail of her relationship and brief marriage to him.

"Where should I start?" she told him and he smiled knowing how good they still knew each other, still being able to know what the other was thinking, well most of the time anyways.

"Start at the beginning. Where and how you became involved with Chris Vega," he told her and she took a deep breath.

Natalie proceeded to tell him how she met Chris at his mothers diner in town, how she was still missing him, missing John although it had been a few years since she had seen him, since he had left, she told him about there on again, off again courtship, even his painting, his beautiful paintings which she later learned was smuggling drugs to clients for Flynn Lawrence.

Natalie said she was unaware of his dealings with Flynn till that night in Vegas, the night of the tournament, two nights after there wedding night, he night Chris was taken by Flynn and killed, the night the Feds just let Flynn take him away and didn't even try to stop them. She informed John of how they locked her up that night, the Feds, they held he in some room at there headquarters, no food, no water, no nothing for at least 36 hrs, and the only way they even let her go then was because her family pulled in every connection they had, he uncle went to some buddy who use to be in charge of the bureau or something, "Davies" she told him, I think that was his name.

Natalie continued to tell John of the horrible way they treated her as if she was some sort of criminal, as if she was apart of this, of it, questioning her over and over about some recording, a recording they kept insisting she must have had.

"I was even having morning sickness, I knew I was pregnant, only about a month and I told one of them, they just ignored me, and kept me there"

She explained how one of the Agents was kind to her, she couldn't remember his name, he tried to explain things nicely to her and asked her nicely but then... then after she swore she didn't know anything about it, the agent got mad, angry, she was conned, tricked, and it wasn't the only time they had tricked her, they had sent several agents over the eighteen months to Llanview, a few even worked undercover at BE to try and get close to her, she even interviewed one for a babysitter for CJ. She told him how it was Roxy with her Cop senses who picked them out fairly early before they got to deeply into there role.

John just sat and watched as he saw the pain flash across her face, over and over as she told of there cruelty towards her, he even had to get up for a moment and walk around the room to not show his rage when she spoke about them showing up in the delivery room when she was having her son. Although Michael had told him of that he still felt her pain more as she told it, she stood strong thru it she told him.

"I ignored them...I mean... I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of taking the joyous occasion of my sons birth from me, I was in to much pain anyways, so I pretended they weren't there, and you know what... I did it, I found some kind of inner strength and stayed strong...until... well I didn't really lose it til I brought my son home, til CJ and I walked into the house with Rex, the whole house was trashed, everything I set up for Cj was destroyed, the nursery was almost destryoyed to, almost like a warning, like bullies trying to intimidte me, that was when I lost it, not sure, probaly had something to do with my hormones but how dare they, I mean, come into my home, my house, I mean, they had trashed it before but.. But it was different when I was brining my son home, to start of lives together."

Natalie took a break after that part of the story, she was wiped out, exhausted, he took his hand and pushed a piece of her hair that had fallen in her face away.

"I'm sorry," he said as he stared at her and her teary eye's, his too were a bit teary

"You have nothing to be sorry about"

"Yes I do, I wasn't here to help you, to even stop them, if I didn't go all those years ago..."

"And if I didn't trick you to go, it's not important John"

"Yeah, but I can't help being sorry, If I wouldn't have gone, you never would have met Chris, CJ would be my son in blood right now"

"John, You did go, I forced you to go, I did met Chris, and CJ isn't your son by blood, I wasn't ready to have a CJ back then, I wasn't ready for a forever with you or anyone and... and well... CJ may not be your son by blood but he was always yours in my heart" she told him and he smiled, his eyes swelled up with tears and he kissed her just as they heard CJ scream from the Pack and play to get there attention. They broke off their kiss and smiled at each other as they John got up off the couch, he went over to the Boy, CJ had his hands already out for John to take him, John took him out and he looked at him as he was in his arms.

"I'm your dad CJ, I won't let anything happen to you or your mom, I promise"


	20. Chapter 20

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**Chapter 20**

John and Natalie hung around the rest of the afternoon talking, catching up on things, just being together and being comfortable with each other, just like all those years ago, just as if time hadn't passed, it was easy for them to pick up where they left off, real easy. Sometime around 2:00 CJ took his nap, John and Nat wasted no time making the most of the quiet time together as they made Love again and lay around in bed till it was time to go to the Palace for Dinner with the family for Kelly and Kevin's Anniversary.

The three of them were just about to walk inside when Nat turned to John who had CJ in his arms.

"Is it alright with you because its sort of my brother and his Wife's night that we don't mention anything, about anything to anyone, you know what I'm saying"

"You mean about me asking you to marry me?" he told her with a smile

"You understand right, I mean if we were to tell someone then everyone would know and then I'd... we'd have to explain stuff and it just might take away from why we are really here tonight, for my brother and his wife."

"I understand, its fine, soon thou, right?" he asked and she nodded her head yes

"Good, but tonight will have to be about me meeting your family" he said as they walked inside and saw the whole bunch of them, Asa was already yelling at the staff cause they gave him the wrong whiskey and Natalie looked at John, he was white as a ghost. She laughed and walked closer to him, she whispered in his ear

"A bit intimidating isn't it?" she said and laughed

"Yeah, just a bit" he told her as they proceeded into the party

Natalie and John walked in and everyone turned to see them, Asa got an even more uptight face on when he looked over to saw a man he obviously didn't know carrying his great grandson. Asa Approached them as everyone else just looked on wondering what the heck was going on.

"There you are girl, thought maybe you and my favorite boy weren't going to make it tonight" Asa said as he abruptly tried to take CJ from John's arms, John wasn't letting go just not yet, an action Asa didn't take kindly to. Asa just smiled at John as his attempt to take CJ from his arms didn't happen.

"Who's the new stud in your stable darling? And kindly ask him to give over my Great Grandson" Asa said facing Natalie now as he looked back towards John, John who wasn't staring down or backing down.

"Grandpa" Natalie said a bit annoyed at his comments

"This is an old Friend, John Mcbain, CJ and John are quite fond of each other," she told him as Rex approached them.

"Don't forget to tell your grandfather who agent Mcbain works for Natty," Rex said and she wanted to punch him. Asa just looked back intently at John when Rex called him Agent, but before Asa could open up his mouth John spoke.

"I work for the FBI, been assigned your grand daughters case, we were friends back in AC, I won't hurt her like the others, I could never hurt her"

"We've heard it all before, all of you snakes in the grass have been here before swearing to one damn thing or another." he said towards John.

"Haven't you had enough Girl, haven't you been thru enough, you let him hold my flesh and blood, your flesh and blood, I want him out, out of here Now" Asa said demanding as Natalie looked into his eye's.

"Trust me, Trust me I know what I'm doing," she told him just as stern back as him demanding, Asa turned to John.

"Lets Talk outside" he said to John as Bo approached the two men not wavering from there stared.

"Now, Pa... Natalie is a big girl, and ... and before you start complaining about John being a Fed, I've spoken to John a few times and he has reassured me that he means no harm to Natalie, as a matter of fact he has come across as very protective of our Nat and CJ, this is Kevin's and Kelly's party, lets not ruin it" Bo told him as he winked at Natalie.

"Bo..." Asa started to say as he cut him off and started to walk him away, Asa turned back to John.

"You do anything remotely wrong son, there won't be enough people in this room to hold me down" John just nodded his head and sighed a sigh of relief.

"So that was your grandfather Huh?" he said and they both chuckled, Natalie started to walk them into the party more and over towards Kevin and Kelly

"Should I expect everyone to be as...as... intense as him?" he said right before they stood in front of Kevin.

"No, he's the worse" she said as she smiled, Natalie introduced John to Kevin and Kelly. Things were going smoothly. They walked away a few feet and over towards Nat's parents who were at a table in the middle of the room.

"Mom, Dad, this is John Mcbain, he works for the FBI, and we were very close in Ac before you guys found me, he... he was my family back then when I had no one else." Natalie said all that a bit nervous like, she just wasn't sure how her parents would take things, well she knew her mom would be alright with it, she was more concerned about her dad, and with the way Asa took the news, she was very nervous at this point.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan" john told them as Natalie took CJ from his arms so he could shake their hands.

"Nice to meet you John but please call me Vicky " Vicky told him as she looked from John to Natalie and then back again. She looked as if she knew something was up, Vicky turned to Clint who was sizing John up and down up close. Clint finally leaned his hand out for John to shake.

"Call me Clint son, lets go for a little walk and discuss some stuff," Clint told him as Natalie gave him a look of annoyance

"Don't worry baby, its just going to be a friendly conversation, nothing more, that's not my style remember?" he said easing her mind and he smiled, Natalie looked over at John and he gave her a reassuring smile as he walked away with Clint for a talk.

Natalie and Vicky spoke for a few minutes about John, Natalie smiled the whole time she spoke of him and what she felt for him was written all over her face. After a few minutes Natalie excused herself to go change CJ in the bathroom.

Clint was just finishing up the friendly fatherly, do not even think of hurting my daughter speech when they returned to the main dinning room and John didn't see Nat anywhere, he quickly canvassed the room with his eye's when he turned without a word to Clint who was still speaking and he started walking towards the bathrooms.

Clint saw John become funny and rudely walk away when he followed behind him.

John came upon the bathrooms as he heard her voice.

"Get out of my way, this is a private party" Natalie told an FBI agent she had, had quite a few run in with over the past eighteen months.

"Sorry Mrs. Vega, but I can't do that, seems I've got some more questions for you, you can answer them now or... or we can take you in to headquarters again, I must say you are looking really quite nice tonight, more beautiful than usual" agent Johnson told her as he put his hand out to touch the shoulder strap of her dress. Natalie went to push his hand with her free hand that wasn't holding her son when she didn't have to.

John heard his arrogant words and saw his hand near her and he flew at the other agent. He pushed him up against the wall and held him there. He heard CJ start to scream with the quick movement in front of him.

"Natalie, take him back inside the party" John told Natalie as he turned for a brief second towards her as he heard the assholes words

"Mcbain, you're getting lucky with her aren't you, I can't believe it, you're screwing Mrs. Vega" Johnson said and John punched him in stomach, he brought his arm back a second time and punched even harder this time.

Clint walked over just in time to see John punching Agent Johnson, someone that he had himself had a few minor altercations with; Clint also heard CJ crying. He went to Natalie.

"Take him inside" he told her

"Don't...Don't let John do anything, please" she told him and he nodded.

John waited for Natalie to walk inside with CJ, then he turned to Agent Johnson

"If you ever come near her again, say a single word to her, breath in her direction, or our son's, I will not think twice about killing you with my bare hands, you got it? Are we understood?" John told him irate, he stared into his Agent Johnson's face and the agent could see the rage and angry in his eye's for him.

"John, John the son of a bitch isn't worth it, let him go" Clint told John but John ignored him. Agent Johnson gave a look of conceding and John slowly let go of the mans collar for which he was holding him up by.

Agent Johnson looked between both John and Clint before heading out the door. John never took his eyes off of Johnson till he was out of sight.

"John, is there something you need to tell me?" Clint turned to John

"What?" he asked a bit off guard

"You said our son when referring to my grandson, I want to know what that is all about?" Clint asked him bluntly and to the point.

"I consider him my son, already, he should have been my son, many years ago and when you daughter marries me I will make him my son legally not just in my heart." John told him back bluntly and to the point. Clint couldn't help but smiled.

"Then if that's true isn't there something you need to ask me, since she is my daughter" he told John not letting up on him nor giving in, in letting him know he liked him.

John got tongue tied for a moment, he knew what he was getting at but he got real nervous all of a sudden, what if he asked him and the man said no, why should he have his approval, was it really that important of a thing, a tradition.

"No offense sir but...I've already asked your daughter and she has agreed to marry me, we love each other, I love her son, I will ask you if that's what you would like but... but if your answer is no... it.. it will not change anything, as long as Natalie still wants to marry me, we will get married." He told Clint and held his breath for a moment, he didn't know him, was he a hot head like his father. Clint just let out a laugh, and patted him on the back, they started to walk back into the party while Clint continued to chuckle.

"You should get along in this family fine, you've got some set of balls"

The rest of the night went smoothly, no one mentioned the altercation between the Fed and John. CJ was almost asleep in Nat's arms when he mother came over to her and John sitting at the table.

"Why don't I take him for a few minutes, the band is playing a real pretty song why don't the two of you dance" she said and Natalie looked at John, she remembered he didn't dance much; he would slow dance once in awhile but not much.

"Yeah, that's a great idea" John said as he helped place CJ in Vicky's arms, then he turned to Natalie who had a surprised look on her face. They walked out onto the dance floor, between a few other couples and they started to dance slowly.

He held her hand and moved her slowly but gracefully to the music, she felt as if she was floating, as he glided her body back and forth, he pulled her body a little closer and she smiled at him, as they never broke eye contact.

Vicky and Clint watched as they moved on the dance floor, the picture of them, the way they fit, they both turned to each other and smiled.

"He wants to marry her you know" Clint said as they continued to watch them

"I can tell, she said they use to be each others family"

"Yeah, before us, before she had us"

"When she had had nothing, when she was a lost soul"

"When they both were," Clint said as he took CJ from Vicky's arms

"Lets take him home with us, let them have a little alone time" Clint said as he put CJ on his shoulder, they started to walk away as they spoke to Jess for a few minutes and told her to tell them that they took CJ home with them for the night. That they would call Nat tomorrow.


	21. Chapter 21

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**Chapter 21**

Natalie and John finally came off the dance floor a few minutes after Vicky and Clint left with CJ, they walked over near the table and Jess informed them of their parents taking him home with them for the night. Jess excused herself and Natalie turned to John.

"I guess its just you and me tonight, what do you want to do? Dance some more?" she asked smiling, he grabbed her arm and started walking her towards the door with a smile that mirrored hers

John and Natalie arrived at her house to find the door unlocked and wide open, John automatically got out his gun but she motioned for him to put it away.

"That's not necessary John, they aren't' still here" she told him as she pulled out her phone.

"Rex hi, it's me, just wanted to tell my brother how much I love him, I know you can be a pesky bug sometimes but I love you anyways" she told rex as they walked into her house to see it a mess, trashed.

"What was that call about?" he asked as they walked in, once he saw the mess he knew, she was signaling for Rex that she thought her house was bugged. John started to get mad at the mess, her stuff tossed all about her house, he started to look around the place himself for Bugs as he saw Rex walk in thru the kitchen door.

Ten minutes later John and Rex were both upstairs in the Bedroom, they had found bugs in every other room and was now searching this one. John came upon one Bug near Natalie's bed, he was about to remove it when he saw her walk up to him with a glass of water, she placed the water on the nightstand and she motioned for him not to destroy the bug. She then motioned for Rex to leave that she would call him tomorrow. John watched her and he was confused.

After a few minutes they heard Rex shut the back door, John mouthed a what? Asking her why she didn't let him destroy the bug when she whispered in his ear.

"They want something to listen to, we can give them something to listen to," she told him in his ear, while wearing a wicked grin.

Natalie leaned down underneath her skirt and pulled off her panties, John took a seat on the end of the bed not far from the bug that he had now placed on the nightstand next to a glass of water.

John watched as she took off her panties leaving her skirt still on, she walked over to him as he sat on the bed.

"Take them off Agent Mcbain, I want you" she said purposely calling him agent, as she motioned for his pants to be removed, he smiled as she chuckled, he moved his hands down and brought his pants and boxers to his ankles as she climbed on top of his lap and straddled him.

Agent Johnson and a few other agents were stationed in a surveillance van down the block from Natalie's cottage.

"It seems she found all the bugs again," an agent told Agent Johnson

"Wait... that is all but one" another agent said as he raised the volume so everyone could hear.

The three men listened closely as they heard Mrs. Vega tell Agent Mcbain to what they figured was his pant. They all looked at each other with goofy looks on their faces.

"Holy Shit! Mcbain is getting some" one agent laughed as he lowered the volume for them to have their privacy, Agent Johnson went passed the agent and made the volume higher.

"We need to make sure they don't discuss the case," he told them when they gave him a weird look.

"I highly doubt that is on there mind right now" the other agent said as they heard Natalie let out a few moans, they all got silent for a few minutes as they heard her start to talk dirty to John.

John felt her move on top of his lap and he forgot for a minute that someone was listening, probably Agent Johnson, that asshole, he let out a quick sigh as he felt her lips on his, she started letting out different noises purposely but he was getting lost in them, she continued to take his lips and then she forgot what they were really doing.

John's hands came upon her breasts in her shoulder strapped top and he started to squeeze t hem over and over, his thumbs found her nipples thru the thin material of her top and they were already hardened and at a attention, the more he touched them the harder they began.

Natalie felt his large thumbs thru her blouse and she had forgotten for a few minutes what they were doing, the game sort of that they were playing with the kind FBI agents who bugged her Bedroom and her house. She felt his hands go up and under her blouse and she let out a huge loud sigh, she remembered, she wanted to make this louder than usual, her son wasn't here and there would be no reason to muffle any sounds, no reason to hold back.

John started to frantically take her mouth as his hands went under her shirt; he pulled it up and over her head as his mouth came down on one of her nipples.

"Oh Natalie, Oh. My. God Baby" he said breathlessly as he felt her hand start to rub his penis in between their bodies as she straddled him.

She was now breathing extremely heavy when she pulled herself up off of him for a moment. She smiled wickedly at him as she spoke purposely.

"Oh Baby... I want that huge hard thing inside me Now!' she told him in a commanding voice, he smiled at the playfulness, he pushed himself inside her as she sat back down on his penis. She let out a few deep sighs of pleasure as he did with the smile still on her face.

Van

"We really shouldn't be listening to this" one of the agents said as he saw Agent Johnson getting a bit flushed.

"Leave it alone, she may talk about the case" Agent Johnson told the agent nastily as the agent went to lower the volume again.

"I'm in charge remember" he informed the agent

"You're getting off on this aren't you? There's something else going on here isn't there? You've got a weird obsession with her don't you?" he bluntly asked Agent Johnson.

Agent Johnson didn't say a word he just continued to listen to John and Nat.

"I'm so close Baby, so close give it to me" Natalie said as john drove into her a few more times.

"Oh, I'm going to give it to you" he said and he smiled at her, he leaned his hand over towards the bug on the table, he held it up.

"Enjoy your cold shower Agent Johnson" Natalie said into the bug as John dropped it into the glass of water on the nightstand.

Van

"What the Hell!" agent Johnson said out loud as the other two agents laughed.

"I love you " John told her as she smiled at him, he pushed himself inside her gently and slowly as he kissed her lips.

"I Love you John," she said as she felt herself relax and give in to what they felt for each other, to give in to what they found for each other, with each other.

As Natalie gave in to it, so did John, they fell backwards on the bed afterwards as they fell into a deep sleep together.

Natalie's alarm clock went off around eight and she woke to not find him laying beside her, they had snuggled close all night but now he was up and gone. She got out of bed and called for him but he didn't answer her, she went over by her nightstand and the glass of water containing the bug was gone. In its place was a note. She opened it and read it out loud.

"Had a few important things to do today and I wanted to get a jump on them, I Love you and I'll call you later about when I'll be home. Love J"

Natalie smiled at his words, he'd call later about when he'd be home, she started to hum a bit as she walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

Twenty-five minutes later Natalie walked down her stairs, she heard something from her living room and she looked to see Agent Johnson on the couch.

"What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my house" she screamed at him as she pulled her cell phone out of her purse, she started to dial a few numbers as the agent pressed his hand onto hers and the phone stopping her from dialing.

His hand touched hers and she felt a queer jolt run through her. It freaked her out and she began to get afraid. She tried not to let her fear show as she heard what he was saying to her.

"Don't do that" he spoke softly

"I'm only here to ask you a few questions"

"I've answered all your questions agent Johnson, speak with my lawyer," she told him as he released her hand and her phone, she walked closer to the door. He followed her over

"You know, I never meant you any harm, I mean if you would've just let me in, let me help I could've stopped all the unpleasantness" he told her softly, a side of him she never saw before and a side she didn't like.

"I could've taken care of you, I still can you know, you don't need agent Mcbain for that" he said as he touched her shoulder, he squeezed it and she was freaking out inside, he was scaring her with his words. She didn't know how to pay this game, to play this smooth, she was confused. Did she yell and tell him to go fuck off, did she be nice to him to get him to leave and not hurt her, what the hell did she do! She was about to say something as she saw him get a weird look on his face, a look that scared her more.

"Why don't we go up to your bedroom and I can show you how I can take care of things, you know... I've been watching you for a long time, even before your husband was killed" he said softly and slowly, as he seemed to be brining his lips down towards hers. She pushed him back

"You son of a bitch, don't even come near me" she spat out as she walked closer to the door, she opened it wide, and with defiance in her blood running thru her. She held strong

"Get the Fuck out now!" she told him and he laughed

"Now that's the spunk I like to see, nice to see you don't just save it for John Mcbain" he told her and he walked out the door.


	22. Chapter 22

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**Chapter 22**

John walked into Finnegan's bar and tavern, it was lunch time and he had been out all morning running errands, he looked to the back of the bar, it the back corner was Kenny, they were suppose to meet today to discuss any info he had uncovered about The feds and Natalie's dead husband.

John sat with him and they exchanged in small talk till the topic of Natalie came up.

"So...you seem to be in a happier state of mind today then last time I saw you" Kenny asked and John smiled

"Yeah, I am"

"Wouldn't have anything to do with finding someone after all these years, would it?" he asked and he smiled back at John.

"So I should expect that invite soon then" Kenny asked as John smiled

"Yep, just have to set the date and give her the ring I bought her today" John said smiling. Kenny smiled back at him

"I'm happy for you Johnny, your dad, he'd be happy too, so now... so now that your going to have it all, lets go over the information I obtained thru a few sources, lets get this damn case and those other feds off her back."

"Yeah, lets get the Feds off Mine and My families back" John said and Kenny got a bit confused

"What aren't you telling me Johnny?"

"I quit today, told the boss man to take his job and shove it up his ass" John told him with a smile

"Really" Kenny said with a smile," whatcha gonna do for work?" Kenny asked smiling

"It doesn't really matter, what ever I've gotta do, I'll walk a beat again in Llanview if I have to" He told Kenny and Kenny's smile got wider. He shook his head," Your dad... He would be so proud of you kid, now lets make this right, lets see if we can before you before you marry the Red head" Kenny told John and it made him smile, the Red head he thought, that was what all started this, all of this, one of the things that first got his attention, her red hair as she conned that man out of his money in that bar all those years ago, Kenny was talking but for a minute John was back in that bar, back in his mom's house that they shared for just awhile, Kenny cleared his throat and got John's attention.

"John this is the important stuff, are you listening?" he asked and John shook his head yes.

"There's a agent, he's a bit corrupt, actually a lot corrupt, he's the big guys right hand man"

"Who's the big guy?"

"Haven't figured that out yet, he's involved with daily activates thru the corrupt Johnson, but he's never on the scene or around long enough, not even sure he's that far up the ladder or even still on that ladder, its a bit odd. and..."

"Wait a minute. Did you say Agent Johnson" John asked as he cut off Kenny's words, Kenny nodded yes. John smacked his fist down loudly on the table.

"Son of a Bitch, I should have known that Asshole was involved in this in more ways than one"

"John keep it together, we need to figure out who the other guy is, the main guy and why it's so important that what ever info Chris Vega obtained to doesn't get into the wrong hands." Kenny told John as he was about to ask something but stopped himself, john saw him and asked.

"What were you about to say? Just say it"

"Okay, but don't get mad at me, I'm quite fond of her myself but... but is there anyway she has it, what they are looking for"

"She doesn't"

"Well is it possible she doesn't know she has it"

"What?"

"Maybe it's hidden in there home, maybe somewhere she doesn't know about"

"Kenny the feds, Agent Johnson in particular has been trashing her house for the passed eighteen months, if it was there I think the would have found it by now"

"John, no offense cause you use to be one but some of these Feds are dumb as dirt sometimes and wouldn't know a snake if they saw one", just keep a look out for it, for anything weird when you are at her place, you never know, it could be right under everyone's noses, and all this time we would have never known it."

Kenny told John, John nodded and then John looked at his watch.

"Gotta go it's late, gotta pick up her ring," He told Kenny as he walked towards the door. Kenny followed him to the door with a smile on his face

"Don't forget the invite, and don't worry we'll get to the bottom of this" the older gentleman told him as he patted him on his back. John raced out of the door.

John was sitting in his car heading over nervously to the jewelers, he had an idea for her ring earlier when he was at the shop trying so desperately to pick one out for her and he wasn't having any luck. Then something he remembered hit him, he had remembered a type of stone that would be perfect for her, she had once showed him that type of stone in a book all those years ago, he remember what the stone looked like, how her face light up when she told him how much she liked it. He was so thankful that the Jeweler was an old friend of his dad's and that he actually had that stone, the man worked on it all day for John, he put the whole thing together for him and for that he would be forever thankful.

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Three Hours later sometime around six thirty that night John rang her door bell. He had a six-pack of beer under his arm and he waited for her to answer the door but she didn't. He wasn't able to call her today, he thought if he did he would want to give away the surprise, tell her about the ring he just had made for her, he knocked on the door this time and he was starting to worry as he pulled out his phone.

"Hey, what's going on your not home" he asked her as she answered her cell phone.

"I know" she said laughing, "I'm working late, but you would've known that if you would've called today like you said you were going to in your note" she said not mad but getting her point across.

"Sorry, when will you be home and where's my boy?" he asked her and she smiled

"He's at my mom's, and I should be leaving here in about fifteen minutes, did you eat?"

"Nope, why don't I get a pizza and meet you at your office, can your mom or someone over there and see if they can watch CJ a little longer, I need to talk to you about a few things" he asked her, she got nervous for a minute, what did he have to talk to her about, she shook it off, it must have something to do with the case.

"That should be fine, see you in a few, you do know how to get here don't you?" she asked realizing he might not know where the BE offices were.

"Yep, I can find it I'm sure" John told her as he raced to get a Pizza and meet her at BE.

----------------------------------------------------

Natalie was just finishing up her last page of paperwork when she saw a piece of paper slide underneath her door, she got a curious face on and walked over to it.

"Meet me on the roof" was all it said and she laughed, she grabbed her light spring jacket off the chair and walked up to the roof. She opened the door and it was like De ja vu. He was up there standing near the edge looking down, watching the cars as she approached him he turned to her.

"Hey" he spoke softly as she to returned his soft gesture with one of her own.

"What's going on?" she asked as he came closer and took her hands, he looked into her eyes and leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Did you miss me today?" he asked her quietly and softly, knowing what she was going to say even before she knew her answer.

"Yeah, I missed waking up in your arms today" he smiled that was exactly what he wanted her to say.

"Well today will be the last time, I promise as a matter of fact..." he said and she was getting a bit suspicious as to what was going on. He walked her over to the bench that was in the corner of the roof, he made her sit and he kneeled in front of her. He took a small box out of his pocket and opened it in front of her.

"I think this is a more appropriate way to ask, you know, incase our grandchildren ever ask how I proposed." he said and he laughed, Natalie looked at the ring, she was smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh. My. Gosh. I can't believe you remembered"

"Yeah, I did, I'm a little shocked I did too." he said and he smiled.

"Do you remember what it means, what all the colors mean?" she asked him as he looked at the ring still in the box sitting in front of her.

"Not all of it, why don't you tell me?" he asked her softly

"Its called Pietersite, its not ordinarily used for rings of this type but it's beautiful, each and every stone is different and unique, varying from bold colors of Gold to calming shades of blue."

"And lets not forget fires of red" he said laughing; she grinned at him too and laughed.

"Yeah, couldn't forget about those shades of Red, but... the meaning to it is this, the more colors in the stone, the stronger the love can be." she told him mesmerizing him with her bright smile, the ring was still in the box and john was getting caught up in her smile and her brightness.

"Oh, My Gosh John it really is beautiful, the two stones shaped into hearts and touching, I only wish..." John heard her words and got a bit nervous, what did she wish, she seem to really like the ring.

"What?" he asked quickly and urgently, what did he forget, what didn't he think of.

"I wish I could get a better look at it, maybe see how it looks on my finger" she told him joking as he came out of his trance, he smirked at her and took the ring out of the box, he started to push it on her finger.

"You're suppose to ask me now, now before you push it on my finger" she told him and he laughed.

"Hey, who's running the show here, I am, and I've already asked, the ring was just a technicality" he said and she smiled at him as she leaned in and kissed him.

"A beautiful technicality"


	23. Chapter 23

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**Chapter 23**

John placed the Ring all the way on Natalie's finger and then they smiled at each other, they walked over towards the back of the roof by the now cold pizza, they were comfortable for a few minutes as they both stood in silence, both thinking.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked him and he smiled

"Well if you're thinking we should just go get our son and go home for a new quiet night, then we'd be thinking the same thing" he told her as her smile got bright, they gathered up there stuff and left the roof to go get CJ from Llanfair.

"Hey, is he still up?" Natalie asked as she and John walked into the foyer.

"Yep, but not for long he's in the library trying to get comfortable to fall asleep" Vicky told her, she saw her beaming face, she looked to John.

"Nice to see you again John, Natalie is there something you want to tell me?" she asked Natalie as it looked like Natalie was going to bust a seam if she didn't. Nat looked at John who motioned for her that it was alright.

"I'm gonna go get CJ ready to go" John told her as he walked out of the foyer leaving her alone with her mom.

"So Baby, what's got you beaming?" she asked and Natalie held up her hand with her ring on it. Vicky took her hand and looked at it. She smiled.

"I figured this might be coming" Vicky told her and Nat looked confused

"What?"

"Well your dad mentioned something to the fact but I didn't need him to tell me, I can tell the way the man looks at you honey, you are everything to him, you and your son, who seems to adore him as well, I don't think I've ever seen CJ take to a man so quickly, he still doesn't like his uncle Nash or Kevin for that matter." Vicky told Nat as they looked into the library doors and saw John holding CJ up and putting on his jacket. John looked up to see them staring at him and he got a bit embarrassed for a moment when he heard Clint come from one of the other room.

"So you're taking my Grandson and my daughter home are you?"

"Yes, sir, I am sir" John answered him and he wasn't quite sure why he answered like Clint was his drill Sergeant or something but he was a bit nervous again.

"At ease John, we're going to be family and I'm not the one to be nervous about, its my Pa, he's a bundle of hot air and Natalie is very dear to him" Clint told him and then he looked to see Natalie and Vicky walk in with smiles on their faces.

"Its good to see you darling and may I ask why the bright smiles or should I take a guess " he told her as he kissed her cheek. He looked to John briefly and then back at his daughter. No one said anything and Clint spoke again.

"So have the two of you decided when you will get married" he asked and although he didn't think it was at all possible he saw his daughters smile widen even more. John smiled too as he looked at Natalie's face.

"We haven't decided yet, actually haven't even spoke about it yet, but I... I don't want to wait to long" Natalie told her dad and now it was John's turn to smile wide, she watched his smile and she turned to her parents.

"CJ is exhausted, I'll talk to both of you tomorrow" she said as they started to exit the library thru the french doors. Everyone followed them out and at the door they all stopped and kissed good night.

"Good night Baby, we're happy for you, and If and when you decide what you are going to do let us know, we'd love for you to have it here at Llanfair if you'd like" Vicky told them and they left.

Twenty minutes later Natalie and John walked into Natalie's house, her cottage, the cottage she always loved but not of late, not since things had gone so wrong in this house for her since Christians death. John had taken CJ up stairs and put the sleeping child in his crib as Natalie just stared at the house in front of her, John came down the stairs and watched as it seemed several emotions went passing thru her face.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she turned teary and faced him.

"Nothing really, nothing actually just...just this place, not sure its the place for me anymore, for me and CJ"

"For us you mean" John told her and she smiled

"Yeah, a lot of bad memories and maybe with us getting married and everything, I mean, this place will always remind me of a few not so pleasant things, the Feds, Chris and his involvement with them and with Flynn Lawrence." he walked closer to her as she walked near the fireplace, she was looking at her picture that hung above it.

"What ever you want Natalie, I wouldn't mind having a place that's all ours, somewhere fresh for new memories" he told her and she turned and smiled at him.

'We need to discuss a few things also, maybe now is a good time" he told her and she got a confused look on her face

"Like what John"

"Like as of right now I am unemployed, I quit the bureau today"

"You did huh?" she asked softly as she came a bit closer to him

"Are you okay? I know it must have been hard," she told him as she caressed his face with her hand

"I'm fine, better than fine and it was actually easy, but you know what...I'll get a job in town doing anything, we are all that matters the three of us, and maybe after we get settled a bit, maybe then they'll be more of us" he saw he look away for a minute

"What is it, did I say something wrong, do you not want more children?" he asked her as she sat on the couch, she grabbed a pillow

'No, I want more children its just weird that's all, It's just amazing how I had ever ended up with someone like Christian Vega, that's all, he and you, total opposites"

"Maybe that's why you were with him? Because he was the furthest thing from me," he told her and she smiled

'That could be it" she said staring into his baby blue eye's.

"Nat...you never did tell about why you never told Chris about being pregnant, about being afraid to tell him, why? What was that all about?" he asked her lightly, he didn't want this wonderful night to be about her and that Asshole but they needed to get things out.

"Its nothing much, its just, its just...when I found out I was pregnant with CJ and I was so excited, I mean... Chris had been acting Differently all of a sudden but he always seem to want kids, I planned this whole big dinner, it was a few days before the wedding, he was in a fowl mood that night really strange. I danced around the subject of kids and he got mad almost nasty to me insisting he didn't want them anymore, still not sure what that was all about but I was upset by it, so I kept being pregnant to myself, I just married him anyways being naive, thinking he'd change back into the guy I once cared about once we were married, but I should have known, I shouldn't have let myself be conned like that, I should have been smarter about the whole thing, I was stupid." she told him and she walked away towards the window and looked outside.

"Natalie, you weren't stupid," he told her as he brought his arms around her from behind and held on to her.

After a few minutes of silence she turned in his arms.

"You know what? That's not important, we're what's important, You, I and CJ, I don't want to think about Christian anymore and I definitely don't want to think about all the troubles I've been having caused by him and him getting involved with Flynn and the Feds" she told him as she smiled at him

"Nat, before we get off the subject can I just asked you something, something about if Chris could have stashed the info the Feds are looking for somewhere in the house, anywhere, maybe you can think of anything, anywhere"

"John, you know I don't know where he put anything, do you think? Do you think I would be putting myself thru all this shit with them trashing my house and ruining every happy occasion for me if I knew where the damn information was?" she told him a bit testy, she pulled away from him for a minute and was about to walk away when he grabbed her back by her arm

"No, No Natalie, I won't let you revert and retreat, I only asked cause there could be something that we missed"

"John, they've been searching my house for the past year and a half, don't you think if it was here they would have found it," she told him and he nodded yes. She softened a bit and she went back into his arms

He held her for a few minutes and then she pulled out of his arms for a minute to look into his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry... Its a beautiful night out wanna sit on the porch and look at the stars?" she asked him and he smiled.

"Yeah, I'd love to... as long as we can discuss our wedding" he told her and she smiled.

John and Natalie sat on the swing most of the night; they planned out a small intimate wedding at Llanfair, for in two weeks. John had smiled when she was the one who suggested getting married so fast, he was happy that she was as excited and anxious as he was. They also planned on putting her cottage up for sale; they need a new place, their own place.

The next few weeks had gone by fast, they were uneventful and for that Natalie was Thankful, tomorrow they would be married, Natalie was standing downstairs as CJ napped boxing up her stuff, the cottage was in contract to be sold but they hadn't found anything they both loved yet, so the three of them would be moving into the carriage house at Llanfair in the meantime.

Natalie had just packed up the pictures on her mantle when she came to her picture hanging above the mantel, the picture Chris had painted of her, the one she use to love so much, she took her head wiping away all those unpleasant memories as she threw the picture in a box.

Natalie looked up towards the door when she heard him come in, he had gone to the airport to pick up his mother, this would be the first time she and Natalie would ever meet, Natalie was a bit nervous about it but this was the woman who helped him to be who he was today, the man that she loved. Natalie smiled as she looked his way, he smiled back and they all moved closer t o the middle of the room.

"Mom this is Natalie, Natalie this is my Mom" John said introducing them as Natalie went in with her hand but the woman grabbed her instead and hugged her.

"Its so very nice to meet you Natalie" Eve said softly as she hugged Natalie for a few more minutes.

"Nice to finally meet you to, John talks about you all the time" She told Eve and Eve grinned at her after she pulled away from her.

"Nice place, are you packing or unpacking?" Eve asked as she walked around the cottage for a few minutes.

"Thanks, I'm packing" Natalie told her and John stepped in.

"We're looking for a place that's all ours, this place didn't fit anymore," he told her and she smiled at him. Eve smiled back at John and Natalie for a few minutes and they heard CJ cry out thru the intercom in the living room.

"Excuse me for a minute I need to get him" Natalie said about to head upstairs for CJ. John stopped her

"No, I'll go, why don't you and my mom talk a bit" he told her and she smiled, he leaned in to her and kissed her quickly on the lips and ran up the stairs to get CJ.

"CJ, that's your son right? John told me about him, actually John has told me a lot about you, about before, all those years ago when you use to stay at my house with him" Eve said as they sat on the couch

"I see" Natalie said as they sat, she knew what Eve wanted to know and there was no beating around the bush, that wasn't Natalie's style.

"I'm gonna put it out there for you Okay, and then you can make your own decision on whether you think I'm good enough for your son but either way, I will be marrying him tomorrow, even if you don't like me much or my son for that matter, I love him too much to be away from him. I lost him once, once when I was younger and it wasn't our time, I did a stupid thing to push him away so he could have what he wanted most in life, or what I thought he wanted most in life and I'm sorry for that but... but if you asked me if I would do it again, do something like that, to give him what he wants most in this life then I couldn't lie to you, I would have to tell you that I would, I would do anything for your son, anything to give him his dreams." Natalie told Eve and she waited for the woman to change expressions.

John came down the stairs to complete silence, he had CJ in his arms and he walked closer to them as he wasn't sure how this was going, he was a bit nervous for a minute when he heard his mother speak.

"Let me see that Angel Johnny" Eve said as she got up off the couch and took CJ from johns arms.

"So this is my soon to be Grandson Huh?" she said and she smiled at Natalie.

"What does CJ stand for?" she asked and John was about to answer when John did.

"Christopher John" she said and Eve smiled

"Nice name, handsome name, do you mind me asking why? What you named him after or who? " She asked, Natalie smirked she was as direct a person as she was.

"Christopher because I love the name and although his biological father wasn't a great guy I still cared for him once upon a time, so I figured I'd leave my options open of ever wanting to refer to him by that name" she said and John looked, she had never explained that to him, he had never asked.

"And the middle name" eve asked being persistent.

"After you son, because he never left my heart and I had envisioned having a child with him so many times when we were younger" she told them and John teared a bit, his mom noticed it, she smiled at the raw honesty of the girl who would be her sons wife, mother to his children, that would give him everything she had. Eve looked between the two and noticed that this must have been new news to John.

"I think he may need to be changed, do you mind if I do it?" Eve asked wanting to give them a few minutes alone. Natalie nodded and she told him what door upstairs was his room.

As soon as Eve was upstairs with CJ John closed the gap between them, he brought his hands to her waist and pulled her close as he looked into her eyes.

"I can't believe you never told me that, I can't believe how lucky I am," he told her and he went in for a kiss

"No, I'm the lucky one" she told him as his lips came up son hers


	24. Chapter 24

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**Chapter 24**

The Next morning came quickly, Natalie woke in her bed alone, it was their wedding day and John had spent the night at his Brother Michael's apartment. Natalie looked at the clock as she brought the covers up on her, it was 8 am. In four hours she would be marrying him, marrying John. She stared at the ceiling for a few minutes just thinking about him, an about how Lucky she was to have found him as she looked around her almost bare bedroom, this was the last time she would be in this room, sleep in this room, she smiled, although she loved this cottage and this room she was ready, ready to move on with the man she should have been with all those years, the man she always loved. She heard her son cry out for her, well their son after today, and she got out of bed and attended to him.

John woke to Michael's singing in the shower, the God awful noise of his lousy out of tune singing and his loud horrible snoring made it hard for him to sleep last night. Who was he kidding, he thought to himself; it wasn't the noises coming from Michael that made him unable to sleep. It was not being along side her in bed, not feeling her breath on his arms as he held her, as they snuggled and slept contently. He looked at the clock, it was 8am, in four more hours, just four more hours they would never spend another night apart, she would finally be his wife, the wife he wanted her to be all those years ago, the way it should have been. He was Thankful, so very thankful, not only was she going to be his, in all aspects but he got a bonus with Marrying her, her son, her precious son who he had fell in love with the minute he held him that first time. He wouldn't just be her son today, Christopher John would be their son, he wasn't just getting married today, he was becoming a family, they were officially becoming a family.

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Llanfair

"Hey Buddy, how are you? I missed you last night" John said to CJ as he waited near the front of the Living room in Llanfair, it was almost time for Natalie to walk down and meet him and although nervous about the whole thing he was more than ready to do this, to finally have her in his life forever.

John looked back at CJ at her son, their son after today. CJ sat in the front row with Vicky. His boy, he had already been referring to him as his son, his boy, he smiled back at John, John winked back at him as Michael joined John and the wedding began.

"They're playing your music Sweetheart" Clint told Natalie as he took her arm ready to led her down the aisle to John. Clint kissed her gently on the cheek and could tell Natalie was choked up about everything, it was rare that Natalie got this emotional about anything or at least that she showed this kind of emotion but she could barely speak, she whispered in his ear that she was ready and they proceeded to walk down the aisle.

John saw her start to walk towards him and a lump formed in the back of his throat, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, she was stunning in her simple but elegant white dress, it fit her perfectly, it wasn't traditional or even a modern style cut but what ever you would call what she was wearing, what ever it would be considered it was Natalie.

Natalie had no veil to be removed or to be pushed back by Clint as he kissed her and gave her hand to John, she only wore the sides of her hair back in a single rose surrounded by baby's breath, a few strands of red hung framing her face and he loved it, he loved those beautiful long pieces of hair that almost always fell in front of her face, he loved moving them away from her eyes as he looked into them, he loved her hair, he loved all of her.

Natalie smiled weakly almost afraid to, she was a mess, overjoyed with this day, other than the day her son was born she had never been so overcome with Love, with emotion, he took her hand and she knew how hard it was going to be not to let her emotions show, the ones she so desperately hide from everyone but him.

Natalie's bother Joey had flown in from London to perform the service, the ceremony but Natalie decided last minute, yesterday to be exact that she didn't want anything to rational and nothing to stiff as she put it, she wanted it light, comfortable the way they were together, the way they had always been together since their first meeting.

Joey said a few simple words and then explained to everyone that he was done, that the rest of the ceremony was up to them, up to John and Nat, Joey stood back, he stood back and watched as John started to speak, started to just talk to Natalie, to his future wife.

" I can't believe it you know, this, us, here, its kinda weird you know how life works out, how things can come full circle sometimes, I mean we started off loving each other many years ago but for what ever reason it wasn't our time, it wasn't right then, but now, now look at us, we're up here and there's all these people" he said and he took a breather

"Nervous" she asked him softly and smiling

"Hell yeah " he answered her quickly and loudly, she laughed, "I screw this up your Grandpa's probably got the shot gun in his car" He said and everyone laughed. Asa stood up.

"You screw this one up son and I won't need that shot gun" he told them and Natalie gave him a look, everyone chuckled and Natalie and John continued to hold hands, as they looked at each other again.

"So back to what I was saying, things hadn't been right back then and now life has given me, given us another shot to be with each other, to love each other, to have a life I dreamed of having with you back in AC, back before you had this amazing family, this amazing son" John said and he smiled at CJ who was now in between Vicky and Clint in the chairs in front.

"We've come full circle and some how found each other again, the love part came easy for us, you were never completely out of my heart, today has been along time coming, along time in the making for us, although most of that time we were apart it didn't feel like it in my heart, I Loved you then, more than I ever could have told you, I didn't think it was possible to Love you anymore than that, than those times back in AC but I was wrong, I Love you so much more now, you give me everything I ever dreamed about, you are everything I've ever dreamed about, you have always been my dream Natalie. What I wanted most in life, to Love you and be with you forever." he said as he saw her start to cry, tears were now steadily running down her face, he reached over with his thumbs and wiped some of them away.

John took her hands in his again as she got her crying under control.

"What exactly do I say after all that, I mean... You loved me then and love me so much more now, that is just something one dreams of john... when I met you in AC, I didn't dream, all I wanted was to get out of AC, all I wanted was a better life but I guess I was to young back then to get it, to understand it, I could've had that better life with you then, and in AC but ... it took me a few years to figure it out but eventually I had, and my heart ached for you, five years and although my life has been more than quiet and uneventful, my heart always ached for you, only you... when I think back to that time , the time we had spent together it was as if we were two Lost souls, two souls without anyone else, two who somehow found each other. Who fell in love with each other then, and again now. I was thankful for that back then and I'm even more thankful for it now, for you now." she said and she started getting choked up again, she looked into his eye's one last time.

"I Loved you then John, I love you even More Now" she said as she dropped her hands from him, she walked away briefly for a second, she went over to CJ sitting on Vicky's lap, she put him on the ground and held both of the boys hands as he walked with her help over towards john. She placed CJ in front of her as she smiled at John; he smiled back as he heard her words.

"I give not only myself to you today with a promise to love you forever but My son, our son" she told him and she kissed the top of CJ's head as the boy wanted so desperately to walk over to be near john, John leaned down, Natalie guided CJ to Johns' arms and John picked him up in one arm as he held Natalie's other hand.

Teary eyed and choking the words out he spoke.

"Thank you," he told her and she let a few stray tears pass down her cheek

'No, John, thank you" she said as she leaned in and kissed him.

Joey Cleared his throat to get their attention, they were both so caught up in the emotions of today, of their kisses even, that they some how forgot there was a room full of people, the first time Joey cleared his throat it didn't help, they still continued to kiss, after a few minutes everyone in the chairs started to chuckle wondering how long this would go on for, Joey even went over and took CJ from John's arms as John wrapped both arms around Natalie and deepened their on going kiss.

"Hello, we need to do the rings, Natalie, John, Oh forget it" Joey said as he threw his arms in the air, everyone continued to laugh

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, everyone I now give you the kissing couple and the cute kid now from this day forward the Mcbain Family" Joey said as everyone clapped and got out of their seats to move out onto the terrace for the small simple reception.


	25. Chapter 25

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**Chapter 25**

"John, where is everyone?" Natalie asked as they finally came out of their make out session, John laughed at her words and then guided her out towards the terrace, where everyone was there to greet them.

John and Natalie walked out and were greeted by their family everyone was laughing and Natalie blushed a bit, they mentioned how they didn't think they would ever stop kissing and then Natalie remembered.

"John we forgot the rings, I think there still inside on the mantle" she told him, he smiled.

"I'll go get them " he told her, he leaned and kissed her quickly on the lips as he headed back inside to the living room to obtain the rings.

John got the rings and was just walking back towards the terrace when he noticed them.

"Get out!" John told Agent Johnson as he approached John walking closer to the open Terrace doors for which Natalie stood a few feet away from outside. John walked in front of Agent Johnson and the other two Agents that were walking along side him, John put out his arms.

"You are not ruining this for her today" he told Johnson in his face as they stared each other down.

"Not trying to ruin anything Mcbain, certainly not for your hot wife" he said and John got a weird pain that ran down his body.

"Just want to congratulate the Bride myself, maybe with a kiss too," Johnson said and John lunged at him, he pushed him clear across the floor and into the far wall separating the Living room and the foyer.

"You go near her today of all days, any day and I'll kill you with my bare hands if I have to" John told him as the other two agents came over and started to pull John off of Agent Johnson, the other two Agents held John for a minute as Agent Johnson decided to get a punch in on John, he punched him in the gut just as they all heard a voice tell them to let him go.

"Let him go or I'll have no other choice than to shoot" Bo told the Agents as he held his gun out pointing right at Agent Johnson. The agents let go of John; he held his stomach a bit and then walked over by Bo.

"Rex can you find John for me, he went to get the rings in the Living room and never came back" she asked her brother as he had come over to congratulate her, he nodded he would as he walked into the living room to see Bo holding a gun on three Federal agents, He turned back to see Natalie out on the terrace still not far from the french doors, he closed the doors quietly trying his hardest not to alarm anyone as he then proceeded to go into the living room to see what was going on.

"Commissioner Buchanan, we aren't here to start any trouble, just have more questions for your lovely niece, MR. Mcbain was getting in our way, the way of a on going government case and he needed to be stopped and dealt with."

"Get out! This is a private party, any so called questions for Mrs. Mcbain will be handled by her attorneys" Bo told Agent Johnson as the agent walked closer to him.

"See Commissioner I can not do that, especially since Mr. Mcbain has assaulted a federal agent, we, I demand he be arrested" Johnson told Bo smug as he walked closer to him and John.

"You can put down your weapon Commissioner and If you won't arrest him I will" Johnson told him as he got close to John's face.

"You son of a Bitch" John said to Johnson's face as he heard Bo speak.

"Sorry agent Johnson, no-one will be arrested today unless you continue this harassment, Lt Mcbain was just protecting his wife, there won't be anyone at my station to arrest a fellow officer and there boss to boot, so why don't you take yourself and your dim wit pose here and get out, this is private property" he told Johnson and Johnson just smiled.

"A cop again huh McBain?" he told John as he got real close to his face.

"Yeah, got tired of being part of the asshole team" he told him.

"You better watch that wife of yours real close man, real close, cause if you don't... well you never know what might happen to such a sweet looking thing" He told John and John was ready to ponce yet again and beat his ass when this time Rex jumped the man.

'Rex, Rex get off of him" they all screamed at Rex as he jumped on the big mans back. They heard a voice from behind and all turned to look.

"Johnson, what the hell are you doing here?" Ted Davies, Bo's old friend from back when they were in the series together, said as he walked into the house carrying a present in one hand.

Rex came off of Agent Johnson as he heard the stern voice. Davies walked up to Johnson and the other agents.

"I thought I told you men that Mrs. Vega, Mrs. Mcbain was off limits, and here you are messing up her life again, Get Out of here, and Now or I'll have to have a long talk with Your superiors." Davies told them, in particular Agent Johnson as Johnson gave everyone a cold stone look as he walked out of the house without another word.

Ted Davies walked over towards John, Bo and now Rex.

"So sorry I'm late Bo, I guess I missed the nuptials and the excitement," he told Bo laughing, he turned to John

"Congratulations Son, sorry about those assholes, I'll make sure they stay off your back, I still have Little pull in the bureau since my retirement last year" he told John as they spoke for a few minutes and all headed towards the terrace to find Natalie.

"Hey there you are? Is something wrong?" Natalie asked as she saw John walk over to her, he came close to her and gave a quick kiss on the lips

"Nope, nothing, nothing at all" he told her

"It seemed to be taking so long I thought maybe you changed your mind and ran, and fast" she said smiling at him, he smiled back

"No, would never do that, your grandpa's pretty fast for his age" he said joking as they moved around the party talking to there family and friends.

After a few minutes of talking and chatting Natalie looked around to see where CJ was, he was with aunt Jessica and Uncle Nash, she smiled as she saw his face covered with chocolate.

"What's so funny?" John asked her as he saw her almost laughing face

"Jessica's a soft touch, she gave him chocolate again, and he won't let her wipe it off his face, look... its quite comical how she struggles with a eleven month old, who doesn't even walk yet." Natalie said continuing to laugh as they watched the boy wiggle around in Jess's arms as she tried to wipe his face, John to started to laugh.

"Pretty funny how neither one of them can get his face clean, hey... shouldn't he be walking soon, on his own, isn't he about that age now, he'll be one next month"

"Lets not rush it okay, I'd like it to be awhile, they say once they walk, oh boy do things get hectic" Natalie told him as they continued to watch their boy with Jess and Nash

"How hectic could it be, I think it'll be fun, once he walks then he can learn to run, once he runs then I can start teaching him how to play football" he said smiling, she looked away from CJ and looked at John's smiling face.

'Football huh? I think we've got time before he starts to learn how to play football, lets not rush it okay" she told him softly, he smiled and she leaned in an kissed him gently on the lips. Hey broke apart as they heard a scruffy older voice.

"Hey, didn't you two do enough of that during the ceremony?" Kenny said as he approached John and Nat. Natalie smiled

"Nice to see you Kenny, its been along time" she said as she kissed his cheek.

"Sure has beautiful, it sure has," he told her

'Thanks for coming man" John told him and they hugged a bit as they patted each other's back.

"Well look at the two of you, finally married, finally got that family, I'm happy for ya, for both of you" he said as Natalie saw CJ start to really give Jessica a hard time

"Excuse me for a few minute Kenny, my son doesn't seem to be to happy about something" she said and started to walk towards Jessica and CJ when she called out behind herself.

"I mean our son," she said and she smiled at John.

"So you did it huh? Finally did it, I meant it Johnny, I'm happy the two of you found each other again, and I'm sorry for the part that I played in the two of you back then" he told John as he saw him touch his stomach a bit and get uncomfortable

"What's up?" Kenny asked as he knew something was wrong

"Nothing" John told him and he saw Kenny wasn't buying it, John looked around the room to make sure Natalie wasn't in hearing distance when he told him.

"The feds were here a little while ago, Johnson got a cheap punch on me, but I'm okay, just worried that's all"

"About them not letting up"

"Yeah, that and... and well... Agent Johnson, he... I got a weird feeling, vibe from him as he said a few things about Natalie" John told Kenny and then Kenny saw John look around the room again checking, Kenny to looked around the room and noticed an older gentlemen who seem to be paying such attention to John as he spoke with Kenny. Kenny brushed it off for a few minutes and then refocused on the conversation with John.

"What kind of things did he say about your new wife" Kenny asked again as he watched the older gentlemen out of the corner of his eye. The man was most certainly watching and casually listening to their conversation.

"He... he... just...nothing really I guess, he just got to me, his words, the way he spoke of her, it was a bit creepy almost, if I didn't know it was a disk or information on his case, I would have... never mind"

"What John? Just say it? Gut instinct is everything to a cop." Kenny told him and john told him.

"He makes me think that he wants her, gut says he's obsessed with her, not sure if he always was but ... his words are making me uneasy, I need to find this info, this evidence where ever it is, I need him far, far away from her"

"If that's what you gut is telling you john then you need to make sure, make sure he doesn't come near her anymore and alone" Kenny told John and then they saw Natalie and CJ walking back towards them

"Your families heading back, but quickly before their here, who's the man to my right talking to the blond"

"Ted Davies, Ex FBI Chief of Operations, he's an old Friend of Nat's uncle the commissioner, he's helped them out with keeping the feds off them when he could." John told him quietly as Nat approached carrying CJ.

"Hey, you two all washed up" John asked and he smiled

"Yep, clean as can be" she said as she smiled at the two men, John took CJ from her arms, he placed him down on the ground on both feet and took both his hands and started to walk him around the room.

"John" Natalie told him as she knew what he was doing.

"He wants him to learn to walk already, that way he'll be one step closer to teaching him how to play football" she told Kenny as they watched John walk a bit further away with CJ, Kenny laughed.

'He's cute with a kid isn't he? Then again I knew he always would be, you knew it too huh?" Kenny told her and she smiled a yes.

"Glad we got a few minutes alone without your guys here, I wanted to tell you something, to tell you I'm sorry" he told her as she looked at him curious

"For what?" she asked

"You know for what, for opening up my big mouth, for not minding my own business back then, for telling you about him turning the Quantico thing down, I never should have and if I hadn't been so stupid to open up my mouth, you and h--"

"Kenny, you have nothing to apologize for, the timing wasn't right and your heart was in the right place... thanks for being here today, for him, it means a lot to him you know."

"I'm here for both of you today Natalie, it means the world to me to be here" Kenny told her and they smiled as they watched John try and get CJ to let got of his hands and walk.

"He just doesn't give up does he" Kenny told her laughing

"Nope, he doesn't and that's a good thing" she said with a matching smile as they watched John walk over to them, he now had CJ in his arms.

"Hey, its about time we blow this Popsicle stand, we've got somewhere to be" He told her and she smiled. They said Good-bye to Kenny and told him they'd be in touch, they made their rounds thru the party and said their good byes.

They finally came over to Vicky and Clint and it was time to leave CJ, this would be the first and only time Natalie left him alone with someone longer than a night, she was dreading it, they were driving to Grandpa's house in the Hampton's for a week for their honeymoon and she wasn't quite sure how, how she was going to go for a whole week without him.

Natalie kissed CJ goodbye and she felt the tears swell up in her eyes, she looked at John and he laughed. She got mad for a minute

'What are you laughing at?" she said a bit mad but curious. John just stood there smirking as Rex walked up to them with a suitcase in his hand.

"So am I riding with you two or taking my own car?" Rex asked and now Natalie got really curious and a bit suspicious to what was going on.

"OH... You didn't tell her yet, sorry man, I spoiled the surprise, I'll go wait outside, I think I'll take my own car, I'll take the kid with me" He said as he took CJ from Natalie and walked outside.

"John, is my brother coming on our honeymoon with us?"

"CJ too... I... I just knew you wouldn't and couldn't be away from him for too long and actually I don't think I could've done it either so... so I asked your brother to come with us, Asa said the house is huge, that he could be on the other end of it and we wouldn't even know he was there, he promised to help out with our boy and give us what ever private time we needed."

"And that's it, I know Rex what did you have to promise him in exchange?" she said on the verge of laughing

"Nothing really..." he said and she looked at him skeptical" Okay, I told him it would be alright if he took CJ around town, you know so he could try and pick up woman"

"What!"

"You know woman dig men who have a cute kid around, they think its cute, sexy even, you have to admit it Natalie, admit it, you think its Sexy when I hold our son" he told her and she let the smile she was holding in go, she laughed even, she kissed him and brought her hands into the back of his hair.

"Yeah, I do think it's sexy" she told him as they deepened their kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

**ABC owns them**

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**Chapter 26**

Natalie sat up in bed, it was the middle of the night and she didn't quite feel right, almost sick, almost like she was catching a bug of some sort, she was about to run to the bathroom when she felt better, she looked at the clock, it was only three thirty in the morning, she looked over to John next to her and he was sound asleep, she caressed his face as he contently slept and she smiled, she laid back down in bed and brought her body close to his as she thought about how wonderful the past three weeks of marriage were.

Their Honeymoon was great, it wasn't a traditional Honeymoon where the married couple spent it alone but one spent with others, it didn't bother either of them one bit, they loved having their son with them, and Rex too. Natalie thought at she yawned, she also let out a small laugh too, Rex was more of a handful than her almost year old son, he was tiring; Rex, but she loved him.

After the honeymoon the days went quickly, they came home and got comfortable, comfortable for now in there new surrounding, there temporary surrounding, their temporary home. They had still been looking for there own place, their own home but nothing they saw felt right. John had been back working for her uncle Bo at the police station, he had gotten the job with the Llanview PD before the wedding but hadn't actually started working on any cases till they got back, he loved, he loved being a cop again, he told her after his first official day as Lt John Mcbain, Chief of Detectives that it felt good, it felt right.

Natalie continued to work at BE, it was important to her, she cut back more hours and she smiled to herself in her sleepy state at her grandfathers words.' My God Girl, are you going to give up everything for that man' she smiled as her eye lids started to lose control and close completely as she answered Asa's question in her head.

'I'd give up everything for him' she smiled even sleepier this time and fell back to sleep.

It was some time around six this time was Natalie was woken from her sleep, this time it wasn't because of feeling sick but by the ringing noise of John's cell phone, he jumped up a second after her at the noise and grabbed it off his nightstand.

"Hello" he said groggy into it before even looking at the caller id

"Oh, hey Kenny yeah, No, I'm awake, what's up? " he asked as he sat up straighter in bed, he knew this had something to do with Christian and the Feds so he got out of bed and walked into the hallway to speak with him.

"So you think you've got something, no, you know something, something concrete, or a hunch, a hunch Huh? Okay, that's better than nothing, well...did you just say what I thought you just said, there's no way, none, are you sure that is what your instincts, your gut is telling you?" John told him and he almost couldn't believe it, if it was true, if the person Kenny just named was the guy, the head of all of this, the one putting all the pressure on Natalie, then it, then this, was the biggest con yet. He was silent for a few minutes while he heard Kenny speak.

"Kenny, just make sure Okay, this is definitely not something I want to be accusing and not have all the facts, talk to you later" John told Kenny and he hung up his phone, he walked back into the bedroom to hear Natalie sick in the bathroom, he reached down and rubbed her back for a few minutes and she smiled up weakly at him.

"I should've remembered how sick Jessica's cooking makes me," she said with a half joke. He smiled back at her.

"Are you sure it was Jess' cooking and it's not something else?" he asked, she knew what he was asking and she shook her head.

"No, it was Jess' cooking, its too soon and I'd know" she told him and he helped her up, she brushed her teeth quickly and they returned to bed.

John wrapped his arms around her tight with his chest to her back and held her as they were both wide awake, they had about an hour before they had to officially start there day.

Natalie turned her body around and faced him; she knew he was awake although he had his eyes closed.

"What did Kenny want?" she asked him and he ignored her, acted like he was asleep.

"I know you aren't sleeping, don't just ignore me" she told him with back bone

He smiled a bit and she saw, she smiled as he opened his blue morning eyes to see her staring at him

"It wasn't anything important, he just needed to tell me some things, try and go back to sleep for a Little bit longer, you need all the rest you can get if you aren't feeling well' he told her dismissing what she wanted to know, he knew she wasn't going to let it go so easily.

"John, don't just ignore it, and me, especially if it has something to do with the feds and the case, I have a right to know" she told him and he smiled at her persistence's

"Natalie, it wasn't anything of importance, he just found a few things out but it was nothing, it probably wouldn't take us anywhere and it was just a hunch, so trust me and lets just enjoy this last hour of closeness before work and CJ gets up.

"I've gotta go Babe" John told Natalie as he kissed her goodbye around eight am, she kissed him back but took his hand before he walked completely out of the kitchen, she was feeding CJ in his hi chair, and the boy had food all over his face.

John looked at her, as she wouldn't let his hand go, he knew what she was doing.

"John"

" Natalie, I'm just meeting Kenny, he's going to tell me more about this hunch he has, nothing more, that's it, if I feel it too, the hunch that is, if my gut tells me something you will be the first person I tell okay" he told her and she smiled at him.

"Okay, I love you"

"Me too, but remember what I told you, what I've been telling you, Agent Johnson, stay away from him, actually since I'm going to be out of Llanview, I'm gonna call Rex to come stay with you and our boy till I get back in town,"

"That's not necessary, Grandpa and My dad have all this extra security her at Llanfair, and well... I think Agent Johnson has moved on, on from the case cause he hasn't bothered us in awhile"

'No Natalie, I'm sending Rex over today, got it" he said and he smiled at her as he used his stern tone.

"That was pretty good Huh? Almost sounded like I wear the pants around here huh?" he told her and she laughed

"Yeah, almost" she said as he kissed her again, he turned as she let go of his hand and he looked at CJ and the mess he was, he smiled.

"Take care of mommy buddy, see ya later " he told him as he kissed the top of his head. John started walking out the kitchen when Natalie called out to him

"Is Johnson apart of this? Is that why you keep warning me about him and especially even more now?" she asked and he turned back towards her.

"Natalie, he has always been a part of this, whether he is directly in this, I don't have proof of it but... but my gut says he is and well... well there is definitely something else on Agent Johnson agenda when It comes to you so please be extra careful, Okay? I love you," he told her and he saw her face

"Just be careful John alright," she told him as he walked out of the house.

Natalie turned and went back by CJ; she took him out of the Hi chair as she started to feel sick again. She ignored it for a minute when she walked her son inside and put him in the pack and play in the living room. She ran to the bathroom and was sick.

Natalie was still feeling awful fifteen minutes later when Rex came banging at her door. She was laying on the couch resting and screamed for him to come in.

"Hey, you guys are gonna have to start paying me soon, first babysitting the kid on your honeymoon all those nights you wanted alone time and now babysitting you" he told her, she turned her head to look at him and she gave him a evil glare.

"Crap! You look bad again, almost as bad as you did when you were having that afternoon sickness with CJ," he told her and she smiled weakly at his words.

'Afternoon sickness, what are you Roxy mixing up your words, it's morning sickness you dope and I'm just sick, we ate at Jess and Nash's last night, you know how Jess cooks"

"Yeah, what ever" he said and he took a seat across from her on the Love seat that faced the couch. She sat up for a minute, confused and thinking

"Do you really think I look like I did when I was pregnant with CJ?" she asked him starting to think it was possible. Maybe she was pregnant...

"I'm no expert but... but you looked pretty shitty the whole nine months you were pregnant with him and you're looking pretty green and shitty now" he told her and she shook her head

"Thanks, you sure know how to make someone feel good"

"Glad I could help Sis, always glad to help" he told her as she got up from the couch and went to find her calendar. She shook her head as she read it.

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Hours later

"Slow down Mcbain, you're going to kill us," Kenny told John as they drove really fast towards Llanview

"I can't, I've gotta tell Natalie, your hunch, my gut, its too much to ignore, I think we're on to something" John told Kenny as saw the on coming car.

"JOHN! Watch out!"


	27. Chapter 27

**ABC owns them**

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**Chapter 27**

"Natalie the phone is ringing, Nat your phone is ringing" Rex screamed to her in the bathroom

"Well Get off your lazy ass and answer it, you know I'm sick in here!" she screamed back at him

"Geeezzzz, if you are pregnant, I hope you get nicer," he told her as he answered the phone.

"Hey Bo, Yeah, Nat's here, what's up? What! What happened?" he said as he was a bit shocked by what Bo had told him and he didn't know how to tell her.

'Yeah, we'll be right there" Rex told Bo and then he turned away from the phone to see Natalie staring at him.

"Something's wrong" she said as he came over to her and tired to take her hands, she pulled them away.

"Natalie, Natalie' he said as she yanked hr hands from his grip

"He... I mean... He isn't ...Rex... What?' she said having a pain run down into her soul. She started to breath heavy.

"We have to get to the hospital, he was in a accident" was all he said as he grabbed CJ up from the Excersaucer and he moved her frozen body with his arms to get her to walk to the door.

Natalie still felt frozen, frozen in her own head, her own body, this couldn't be happening to her, she couldn't lose him and not when they just found each other, not when there just hadn't been enough time together. Rex had to guide her towards the waiting area in the ER, she wasn't moving, she wasn't listening, she wasn't hearing, she was a mess, so not herself.

Rex ran over to the nurses station and asked about him, then he ran back over to her and CJ, she was sitting at this point holding the boy on her lap but she wasn't really there, she was somewhere else, she looked at him as he tried to speak to her and her face stayed blank.

"Natalie"

"Natalie Balsom, Buchanan, what ever. Where the hell are you?" he asked her getting upset at what he saw, she was getting paler by the minute, this wasn't her, she seem to be somewhere else

Natalie's mind drifter to a different time, a few different places, if she was going to lose him tonight, right here, she wanted to remember, remember the first time she kissed him, the first time he held her, the first time they made love and he asked her to marry him. She was lost in her own mind.

Rex couldn't get thru to her it was as if she didn't want to come out of her head, she smiled briefly while in such thought. Rex took CJ from her lap, she didn't even flinch, he went back over a few feet away to the nurses station, he put the boy down on his feet as he held him up against the desk with his legs and held one of his hands.

' Are you following me detective' she said in her head, over and over all there cute exchanges all the moments of their short life together came back to her, she remember it all, there wasn't a lot of it but what there was, was beautiful.

She closed her eye's and she remembered their wedding their beautiful wedding day, the way he took her son, their son and walked him around trying so desperately to get him to walk, so desperately wanting to someday teach him to play football, she opened her eye's, her teary eyes and something caught it, and for a brief second she almost didn't believe what she had actually seen, as if she didn't see it, it brought her out, back.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Rex" she said walking toward Rex who was now scrunching down to the boys level and smiling a bit.

"Did... did I just imagine that" she asked him and he smiled although the situation was a bit tense

"Imagine what, this" Rex said and he let go of the boy, of CJ, her boy, their boy, he walked. He walked all by himself over to her; she grabbed him, and gave him a huge hug as she let a few tears escape onto his shoulders.

" Johns' gotta see this," she said as she held on to her son, to their son, hers and Johns tightly and moved him back and forth in her arms for a few minutes, she heard a familiar voice, actually two voices and she looked up at the words.

"As soon as he wakes he'll be able to " Michael said as he and Bo walked over. She got up of the floor she was kneeling on and holding CJ on.

"So... does that mean he's okay?" she asked cautiously

"Michael and the other Doctors say he will be fine honey" her uncle told her and she let out her breath, the breath she had been holding, unaware to herself.

"Can I see him?" she asked as Rex came over to her and tried to take CJ from her arms, she didn't give him up.

"I want to take CJ in with me" she told them and Michael smiled briefly

"I didn't even tell you, you could see him"

"It doesn't really matter what you said Mike, you weren't stopping me' she told him and gave him her stubborn Buchanan back bone.

"Damn, Johnny's really got his hands full with you huh?" he told her and she smiled a bit as she started walking towards the room that Michael had told hr was his, it was around the corner and away from the men, she was just about to open his door when she heard the creepiness in his voice.

"You aren't looking so good today Mrs. Vega" Agent Johnson told her as she turned and saw him.

"Are you feeling alright," he asked her as she ignored him and the use of her dead husbands last name, she started to proceed into John's room. He put himself in front of her and blocked her entrance.

"Get out of my way or I'll scream," she told him in his face as CJ was making a slight low screech sensing his mother's vibes.

"You wouldn't want to do that, or would you? Do what you want; I'll do what I want and what I have to " he told her as he walked away from her knowing he said just enough to get her to come to him. She turned away from John's door and over to him a few feet away.

"What is that suppose to mean?" she asked him as he smiled at her

"Not sure, it could mean lots of things, for instances, maybe it means just what it sounds like, do your thing and I'll do mine, scream for your uncle or your brother or who ever, and maybe I'll have to do something's, some other things, some not so nice things, things to someone dear to you' he said as he put his hand out to touch her son, she quickly backed up with him and glared at him.

"Are you threatening my son?' she asked point blank and he smiled

"This whole momma bare protecting her young is really what I like the most about you" he said with a smile

"But no, not threatening your son, I'm not that bad, especially since I got to celebrate the joyous occasion of him being born with you, maybe someone else, maybe no one, maybe it's nothing"

"Stop it! Stop it right now! No more games, what do you want? What is this about?" she asked strongly as her insides were mush.

" What it has always been about, about something you have that I need, a few things you have that I need" he told her as he know got a desired filled look on his face, she turned away from him as she knew what his face and his mouth were now saying. She bit her lip at what she was about to say, but she said it anyways.

"Did you do this to my husband?" she asked him point blank

"Yes... No...maybe' he told her playing with her as she now got steamed, he did it and she now knew it, she was pissed, but she had to do this smart.

"Lets just say I did have something to do with this, what would it be worth to keep it from happening again?" he told her and she understood perfectly. She got a look on her face, she shifted CJ into her other arm, she went closer to him, to this bully, and spoke softly near his ear.

"You're not getting into my pants, I may have something else that interests you" she told him and he looked at her, he gave her a sideways glance as she knew what she was doing, she was setting up the con, this girl, this older more wiser girl still could bluff with the best of them, and although she rarely ever used her abilities to con anymore, to bluff so to speak, and although it wasn't one of her best traits, her best assets, it still was something she could do well, perfect actually.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying," he asked her and she smiled a bit.

'Are we back to this game again Agent Johnson, then what do you mean, what are you implying game? Cause maybe it's better we continued the direct approach, I have a husband to see and my kid is getting heavy in my arms" she told him and he gave her a smirk.

"Direct works for me" he said

"My husband... My Dead Husband he left me some stuff, stuff you guys haven't, haven't never, ever found, not sure what it all means but ... but I've had it this whole time." she told him as Rex rounded the corner

"Hey, What the hell are you doing near my sister " he screamed as Natalie looked at Rex

"Its okay, agent Johnson was just being kind enough to tell me that he was glad John was doing alright and that he was glad it was going to stay that way" she told Rex but really she was telling Johnson. Rex listened to her words and saw her face, he knew, almost immediately what was going on.

"Isn't that right Agent Johnson," she added as if making a deal with him in code

"That was exactly Right Mrs. Mcbain" Agent Johnson told her and walked away from them.

Natalie started to move into Johns' room again as Rex stopped her this time.

'What are you doing Natty?" he asked her

"Going in to see my husband Rex," she told him short

"I'll be waiting for you right here after you are done"

"Suit yourself Rex, I'm going to be awhile"

'That's fine, I'll be here all night if I have to, you need to tell me what you are doing, or don't you know?" he told her as she walked into John's room with CJ in her arms


	28. Chapter 28

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**Chapter 28**

"Hey its me, hurt not dead just how you wanted. I know I took a big chance but it's paying off. She's got it. Yep, told me so herself, why? Cause she doesn't want to see her new husband end up like her last one. Yes, I'm sure, maybe tomorrow. Gotta see how this plays out. I understand Sir! Yes! I know you have a lot riding on this. So do I! I told you all along I'd take care of it, there's no need to bring anyone else into it. I'll take care of it and them. I'll let you know when I have it in my possession," Agent Johnson spoke roughly on his cell phone as he left the hospital

Natalie walked into his room, she looked at him, he was still out of it, he was so pale but Michael said he'd be okay, she was in such a rush and upset over him being hurt she hadn't even asked what happened to him or how hurt he was, all she knew was he was alive and Michael said he'd be fine.

Natalie made her way to his bed, she briefly stopped, caressed his face with her hand and then walked over and took a seat with CJ on her lap in the chair by the window, she needed to think for a minute, think about what she had done tonight, a few minutes ago, what the hell did she do. She let out a sigh and she knew, she was doing what ever she had to, to make sure he would be safe, they would be safe, her family.

When she had opened up her big mouth to Johnson she was thinking like that AC girl who knew how to work a room, who knew how to hustle and con to get what she needed, that was why she did it, she knew it had to end, all of this, all the waiting for the Feds and agent Johnson to show up looking for some imaginary piece of evidence that Chris had on Flynn, maybe even on some of them, most likely on some of them since they were so persistent with the things they did, things to make her life a living hell for the past 18 months. No. She told herself this had to end, she had to put an end to it and the only way might be to con him, con them, make them believe.

Natalie was still going over things in her head, putting together what she had to, planning it out, she knew it was going to be the biggest con of her life and she had hoped she wasn't to rusty of late to complete it, to do it. CJ was just getting comfortable on her lap as she heard the room door open.

"Hey, can I talk to you out in the hall" her uncle Bo asked her. His face was strange she thought, his tone was unusual; she had hoped that her big mouth brother hadn't said a thing, nothing. She nodded her head as she followed him into the hallway.

"What's going on?" she asked him as she approached him

"The car accident tonight, there was a man by the name of Kenny Hays in the accident also" he told her and she put her hand over her mouth.

"Then you know him, cause he was in the car with John"

"OMG! Uncle Bo, Is he alright?" she asked as she saw her uncle's face

"He's still alive but in critical condition, there not sure if he's going to make it, I'm sorry Nat, I wasn't sure if you knew him or not, I can't get a hold of any family, do you know of any" he asked her as she walked a few feet away to a seat behind them, she sat and stared into space.

Natalie sat for a few minutes with her now almost completely asleep son, the Son's of a Bitch's almost killed Kenny too. She told herself in her mind as this reassured her, reassured that she had to do this, to make it all better, all right. She sat for a few more minutes before she spoke to her uncle again.

"I don't know of any family, he's retired Ac PD, maybe call there," she told him as she got up placing a sleeping CJ on her shoulder.

"I'm going to go call them now, will you be alright honey?" he asked her and she nodded yes. He walked away and Natalie walked back to John's room, she opened his door slightly, he was still asleep, she looked at him as a single tear fell down her cheek

"I love you John, I'll make it right for us, for all of us" she said as she caressed her belly gently still holding a very heavy CJ in her arms.

"How?" Rex said as he came around the corner of the hall, he walked up to her and heard her telling John she loved him thru his room. She looked at him; she had tears in her eyes now.

"What are you planning Natty?" he asked her and she knew he wouldn't help her with what was going around in her head.

"Nothing Rex you're just paranoid" she told him as she handed CJ to him without asking.

"He's getting heavy, can you take him back to the carriage house for me and watch him please?"

"And what or should I say where will you be?" he asked her

"Here, I'm going to stay by John's side"

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Rex, my uncle Bo will be staying here to, he needs to get John's statement, you're worrying for nothing" she told him and he gave her a sideways glance.

"Don't do anything stupid Natty" he told her and decided to take CJ back to the carriage house for him to sleep. Natalie watched as Rex rounded the corner of the floor, when he was out of sight she pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

"Mark, its Natalie Mcbain... I mean Natalie Balsom, how are you? Yes it has been a long time, what? The name, oh, you know me not sure what phony name I'm using these days, I need a little help with something, are you still in AC, no, oh, Philly, even better" she told him as she describe for him what help she needed, she left the hospital while still on the phone and drove her car to meet him.

"Oh, so you're awake now huh CJ? Now you want to play" Rex told CJ as he watched the boy walk around the living room at the carriage house, Rex had brought him back to the house and the boy had woken up and decided to start using those feet and alone, CJ started walking around the room as Rex walked behind him making sure he didn't fall. CJ got close to the fireplace and decided to take a rest near a large box of pictures, the boy started playing with a few pictures in frames when Rex took them from him, the boy got mad and grabbed the big picture of Natalie from the box, the one that use to hang over her fireplace in the cottage, afraid that he would ruin it on Natty he took it from him and placed it just on top of the mantle so the boy couldn't reach it, CJ got mad and let out a scream telling his uncle he was not happy.

"Just as stubborn as you mom I see" he told him as the boy got even madder and started to rub his eyes.

"Time for bed' Rex told him as he lifted him up and took him upstairs.

"Okay so are you sure this is going to work" Natalie asked Mark as he helped her on with her jacket as he nodded.

"And he won't detect it or anything, I mean, its to small right, I can't believe how small they make things like these now adays, small enough to fit in a bangle bracelet, that really is amazing." she told him and she laughed to herself trying so desperately to gain her confidence before going forward with this.

" So it records as soon as I pinch the sides' she asked him

'Yeah, but remember it doesn't have a lot of recording space so you'll have to work quick to get him to tell you what you want to know." mark told her.

"Okay now for the other bracelet" he told her as he now put another one of her arm

"This one is if you need help, it has a direct link to the police'

"Really? How the heck do you know all this stuff, when?" she asked and he smiled

"When did I get so knowledgeable on electronics and stuff, technology and things"

"Well, cons will only get you so far in life you know, needed to learn a trade" he told her and she smiled

'And see I thought you could just get me in touch with the right people didn't expect you to be the expert yourself" she told him and he smiled, he finished setting up her bracelets.

"Remember, get what you need and get away as soon as you can, are you sure you don't want me to wait outside while you do this" he asked her and she smiled confidently, she faked that, she was really that confident but she couldn't bring yet another person into this.

'Are you sure this isn't anything dangerous?"

'Positive, the guy... he just owes me some money for something, he says he don't, just need him to get him to acknowledge it and then I can use It.' she told him and he bought it, they said goodbye.

John woke in a hospital bed, he had machines hooked up to him as he felt his mouth was dry, he looked around the room groggy for Natalie, he didn't see her, why wasn't she here, he sat up a bit, got a uneasy feeling come over him as he started to pull the lines out of his arms.


	29. Chapter 29

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**Chapter 29**

"John what the hell are you doing?" Michael said as he walked in to see John trying so hard to get his clothes on, he noticed all his machines were disconnected and his brother looked even whiter now than when they brought him in.

"Johnny, I'm not letting you out of this room"

"Get out of my way Mickey! Or I'll hit you with that bed pan over there" John told Michael as his fear started rising, their was something going on with Natalie, or maybe CJ, he could just feel it, sense it almost, something inside of him was screaming at him to get out of there and quick, to find her, them. He shook his head feeling a bit groggy but continued to get himself together to go find her.

"John, as your Doctor, but more importantly as your brother I Can Not let you do this"

"Michael, I need to find Natalie, CJ, something's wrong, my gut is telling me, something's up."

"Relax John, she was here earlier, I'm sure she's around somewhere, I saw Rex leave with CJ, Do you not remember you were hurt tonight John, almost killed"

"She's not here Michael, I know she's not and with the information I may have... if they... if they got to her... to my boy... Michael" John said and let out an exhausted sigh, he sat back on the foot of the hospital bed for a minute

"I need your phone"

"John you can't use that thing in here" Michael told him and John gave him a glare of death, Michael reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and handed it to John.

"Pick up Baby, pick up the phone, answer it" John said out loud as he tried her cell phone, No answer, he turned to Michael again as he dialed the house.

"Go call Bo for me, its important, Go Mikey, do it now!" john told him as Michael ran out of the room

"Damn It! The line is Busy" he said and he ignored Michaels words from a few minutes ago, he looked out of his room, saw Mikey's back to him and proceeded to walk out of the hospital.

"That kids a handful" Rex told himself as he came downstairs after finally getting CJ to sleep, he noticed the receiver on the phone was knocked over and continued to mumble to himself about his nephew being a terror, a handful.

Twenty minutes later Rex jumped out of his seat on the couch to see John run into the house.

"Wh...ere... is... she?" John asked barely able to breathe and not looking well, he was holding his side and was in pain but got his words out and the urgency in his voice rang thru Rex's ears.

"What? Natalie? Shit!" Rex said out loud as he realized he never should have believed her, he knew something was up but he took the kid instead.

"Rex!" John pulled himself together and ignored the pain from his earlier injuries.

"She's not here, she sent me with the kid" he told John and John looked at his face and he knew, it almost confirmed his gut, that something was going on.

"Tell me" he demanded of Rex when they both walked into the living room, closer to the Fireplace, Rex was unsure how to tell him what she was doing, unsure how he'd take it, and unsure he could take it physically.

"You look like Shit John, sit down, I'll call Bo"

"I'm not sitting down Rex"

"John, you were just in an accident, Sit and let Bo handle this"

"Handle what!" John screamed at him, they were wasting time, obviously something was up. John watched as Rex had a private debate in his own head, after a few minutes of no words or explanation from Rex, John walked closer to him as he stood near the Fireplace.

"I want to know where My Wife is and you will tell me now!" John screamed out with a combination of Angry and Pain as he looked an saw her face on the mantle, her picture, that Fucking picture that the son of a bitch drew, the son of a bitch who has cost her so much, He took his anger and rage out on it, he started Ripping it, from the top of the canvass that sat on wood backing, he ripped it, stopped for a second, and then violently ripped it again.

"What the hell is that?" Rex asked as he was afraid at first, he hadn't ever seen his brother in law like this, then he saw him rip the picture, something fell out, and onto the floor.


	30. Chapter 30

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**Chapter 30**

"What is that, it looks like some type of Disk, CD" Rex asked as he saw John stop his rage for a minute and also look at it, Rex bent down and picked it up.

John sighed for a minute, he caught his breath and got his breathing under control, he knew what it was, it was what all of this was about, the CD, the conversations of drug smuggling men, it was in her picture, the picture of her all along. He calmly turned to Rex.

"Its what this has all been about, where is she, do you even know?" he told him.

"Not sure, she... she... promise not to beat me, like you did that painting?" he asked John as he didn't want that fury turned on him, John just gave him a look.

"Okay, not sure but she was hinting to something today at the hospital with Agent Johnson, I confronted her and sh--"

"Rex, just get to it, the particulars later"

"I think she was going to con him or something, but if she had the CD all along, I guess she wouldn't be conning him or bluffing"

"She didn't know it was hidden here, where is she and what exactly do you think she is doing, and tell me quickly, I need to get to her before she does something stupid."

Rex explained the few details he knew and picked up on. John was starting to loose his control again, he was starting to feel the pain, pain in his body and pain that crept in along with the fear that he might lose her tonight.

As soon as John heard everything, which wasn't much he started running as fast as he could from the house, something hit him, if she was trying to get him to something, to what or who was on the tape, she would most likely tell him it was at the cottage, at her house, that the feds must have missed it.

"Call Bo, tell him to meet me at the Cottage, but not sirens " John screamed to Rex as he quickly walked to the door.

Natalie walked into the cottage, she looked around, it was empty, she would be selling it in a few days, this was the perfect place, the best place to set him up, he would think she had it hidden here somewhere, since this was her home. She walked around the empty house and tried so desperately not to remember the bad times here, just the good.

"Hey" he said as he approached her, her back was to him, she put on her game face, her con face, she turned slowly as she touched her bracelet for it to start recording.

"Agent Johnson, nice to see you, didn't think you were coming," she told him somewhat cold as she saw him walk closer to her. He got real close, almost touching her as he looked into her eyes.

He stared into her eye's and she knew she couldn't waver them, she had to look back into this bastards cold brown eye's, she needed to sell it, to make him believe it.

"I don't want to be anywhere else, now... lets get down to the reassurance" he said as he started to touch her arms a bit, he started rubbing his fitly hands up and down on her arms till she found enough courage to open her mouth again, she briefly walked away from him.

"I already told you that wouldn't be happening but as for reassurance, tell me your end of it" she said bating him a bit, needing him to say he wouldn't hurt john, CJ. She needed that on tape along with what might be on the CD.

"So you want me to be direct," he asked and she nodded her head as she moved in closer to him, he was close to saying something anything,

"Your husband, that asshole McBain, he don't deserve you, I've been watching you, you deserve so much better, give me the CD, lets go get your son while the ass is still in the hospital from when I put him in there and we can go away far, is that direct enough for you?" he said and asked and she...she was stunned by his offer, she couldn't let on that she was almost trembling inside, this guy, this federal agent who had been making her life a living hell for the past year and a half wanted her. She never wavered her face, her expression.

"You want me to give you the CD and run away with you, leave my husband," she asked him and he touched her cheek with his hand as he nodded yes.

'I've gotta get out of the country and you can come with me" he told her

"Wait, you want me to believe you, I mean, you have been making my life a living hell for eighteen months, doing all kinds of mean shit to me and even some to my family and I'm just suppose to believe now that you care for me, want me to go away with you, I think this is a game, another Federal trick." she told him knowing the time on the tape in the bracelet would be running out soon, she needed to get something anything.

"I know, but its true, I think I'm been falling for you and that ass your husband, I...I can give you so much more"

"Yeah, you think so, what can you give me?" she asked boldly this time

"Safety, love, security even"

'What about Trust, Huh? Can I trust you?"

"Yeah I can give you trust"

" I doubt it from where I stand you are not trust worthy, you are just like John, he doesn't trust me either" she said with the big guns so to speak, she would sell this now, sell him that she might be considering going with him and leaving her husband, he was going to now tell her about the CD and what it contains. He had too.

"I can prove it, tell me how' he asked her as she got what she was looking for, he said those magic words.

"Tell me about the Fucking CD that has turned my life upside down, It's in code, I listened to it once along time ago but have no idea what I heard" she told him as she saw him step back a bit, he was trying to read her eye's.

She saw him look at her and doubt her for a minute doubt this for a minute, she had to sell it, she walked over to him, closely, she came real close, she had to do it.

Natalie started to freak inside she needed to get out of this, she took her arm with the other bangle bracelet on it, the help bracelet, she pushed it with other hand as it came around his back to do so. He moved himself away from her body; he walked closer to the kitchen door.

"I'll tell you," he said and then there was a loud popping sound, then another. Natalie screamed when the windowpane shattered behind Johnson and he slumped to the ground. She stood there frozen with fear.

John was running up the walkway on the side of the house when he felt it, the burning pain in his shoulder. Looking at the blood coming out of his shoulder he realized that he had been shot. 'Shit' he muttered to himself as he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Natalie stood there in shock as Johnson fell to the ground. Hearing no other shots she carefully bent down to check his pulse, there was none. He was dead. Suddenly she heard a noise next to the french doors and spun around. "Mr. Davies?" she asked confused, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for the disk of course." Davies said as if she should have known already.

"You! You bastard!" Natalie said in sudden understanding. It had been Mr. Davies all along! "You played us! You tricked Bo and you tricked me, WHY?" Natalie demanded.

Davies stepped into the room and over to Johnson's body. As Natalie backed away he said, "Money, what else?" He kicked Johnson's body in contempt before looking up at Natalie again, "Now where's the disk?"

Natalie looked at him in anger and fear. "Screw you, I'm not telling you squat," Natalie told him, knowing that she had gotten his confession on tape. She hadn't gone through all this for nothing. Now all she had to do was get out of this alive.

Enraged Davies grabbed for her and caught hold of her hair and pulled her close the gun digging into her back. "You'll tell me what I want to know or you'll never see that sweet little boy of yours again!"

John groaned and sat up slowly. His arm hurt like hell but it wasn't too bad he discovered as he probed the wound. He stood up quickly and looked in the front door and sucked in a breath in horror. Mr. Davies was holding Natalie by the hair! What the hell was going on? Then he saw Johnson on the floor presumably dead.

It became clear what was going on. Obviously, by accident or on purpose, Davies had shot both Johnson and himself. Well he wouldn't kill Natalie too! He would not, could not, lose her again! Carefully taking aim on Davies he pulled the trigger and the gun barked and jerked in his hand, Davies yelped and then fell to the floor.

Natalie screamed thinking he had shot her. She felt no pain and realized that she wasn't hit. Feeling Davies let go of her she spun around as saw that he had been shot in the chest. She looked around and saw John standing a few feet away outside the door. He was bleeding! "John!" she shouted and he ran to her.

John ran to Natalie and took her face in his hands, "Are you ok?" he asked, frantically checking her for injuries. His shoulder forgotten in his relief that Natalie was alive.

I'm fine John. How did you know, how did you get here?" She asked him. Seeing the bullet wound she exclaimed, "You're hit! John, you've been shot!"

John was about to answer when Davies groaned. John pulled the disk out of his pocket and bent down. Kicking Davies gun as far away as he could he waved the disk in his face and said, "This what you wanted? I listened to it, you've been a bad man."

Davies struggled in agitation and began to cough. Gasping a few more times he suddenly went still, dead.

Natalie looked at John then back at Davies, shocked. "You have the disk? But how? When...?"

John shushed her and gathered her close just wanting to hold her and make sure she was ok, everything else could wait for now.


	31. Chapter 31

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**Chapter 31**

"Don't fidget John, don't the EMT's will be here any minute" Natalie told him as she walked them pasted Davies now dead body

"Lets sit you down over here," she told him as she helped him to sit, they stared at each other for a minute, neither speaking words, she gave him a weak smile.

"You worry me, you shouldn't have come out of the hospital" she told him as she took a piece of her shirt, she ripped a piece off and held it on his wound, she heard the police sirens and even the ambulance getting close.

"I worry you…I shouldn't have come here, taken myself out of the hospital, Natalie... you shouldn't have done what you did, we could have lost it, lost all of it, I could have lost you." he told her a bit cold, a bit upset, he could have lost her tonight, CJ, could have lost her tonight.

"We could have lost each other, I know... alright...I know... but... but If I had to do it again, if I had to, I'm not sure I wouldn't, I mean, if it came down to saving you, CJ, making your life better, safer, I cant lie, I would probably do it again" she told him as she saw his face change, it softened a bit, they were still just facing each other and staring when the ambulances arrived.

"Thank God, they sound like close " Natalie let out a sigh; she continued to hold pieces of her shirt on his wound as he stared at her.

John was almost trembling inside when he thought that he might not be able to save her, when he was shot, it scared him beyond belief, he loved her so much, much more now than he had even loved her back then. He took her free hand that wasn't holding his wound just as the EMT's raced in the door followed by Bo.

"I'm so sorry I worried you," she told him as she quickly leaned down and kissed him as they started to work on his wound. Natalie moved a few feet away as they worked on him, she saw her uncle come near her after checking both Agent Johnson and his old friend Davies.

"I'm sorry Uncle Bo... but... But it was him all along, he was the one behind all of this mess the past year, he was on the disk." she said almost in tears, as he came even closer to her.

"I know he meant a lot to you, I..." she said and he grabbed her into an embrace, he hugged her as he saw the tears come out of her eyes.

"You mean a lot to me " he told her and she smiled weakly at him. She came out of her embrace as they heard John giving the medics a hard time a few feet away, Bo and Nat looked at each other for a minute and laughed. They both walked closer to him.

"I don't need to go to the hospital, my brother is a Doctor, he can stitch me up at home, I just want to go home with my wife and see my son" he told the EMT's nasty as Natalie walked over.

"You are going to the hospital, and that is final" she told him as she leaned into the gurney that they had just put him on, he was complaining

"And you are going to have to tell me where you got the disk, where it was the whole time or...or is it a fake?" she asked as she grinned at him, would her husband, the law abiding Chief do detectives, would he be trying or planning on bluffing about the disk. She laughed some more as she heard his words.

"Well I'm not the con artist in the family now am I?" he told her and he laughed as they started to transport him to the hospital.

Awhile-later John was resting comfortably in a hospital bed as she was sleeping next to him in a chair, she had tried to crawl in the bed with him but she was afraid she would hurt his shoulder. Bo had come in a while ago and they had given him the Disk and their statements, she called and checked on their boy, Rex said he would bring him as soon as CJ woke.

She was trying so desperately to get some sleep, but she couldn't, she just couldn't. This was over, really over, she felt freed, light almost. She wouldn't have the feds hounding her any longer, they would be able to have a normal life, raise CJ together, and maybe have a few more kids.

That last thought stuck in Natalie's head, she was almost convinced before all the drama, and everything that happened tonight that she was pregnant again, almost sure of it, with all the throwing up, feeling nausea, but... but she was feeling a bit disappointed now, let down even, she was fine when everything was going on, when she was conning Johnson. She shook her head; it must have been Jessica's cooking after all.

"Hey' he said as he woke and saw her sour face. She covered and smiled at him.

"What's wrong, I mean... I know its been along night, shit a long couple of days, years even but... now isn't the time for those faces and to be upset, they can't hurt you any longer, they can't hurt us, our family' he said and she got a bit more upset with the word family. He brought his hand to her face. They looked into each other's eyes.

"I Love you' he told her and she smiled with a bit of weakness

What's wrong" he asked, she leaned in and kissed him, she pulled back quickly, looked into his face, she was turning green again, she ran to the private bath in his room.

John heard her sick in the bathroom, he also heard her crying or what he thought was crying.

"Natalie Babe, are you alright, want me to call a nurse" he asked as he started to get up off the bed, he was a bit groggy and slow moving, she was back in the room with him before he even made it up. She moved closer to him and helped him to lie back down.

He saw her face, it wasn't stained, it was fine, her eyes were bright and wide.

"You weren't crying in there?" he asked her confused; she smiled at him, took his hand and stared into his eye's. She was about to tell him something, tell him she thought she might be pregnant when the door swung open and in came Rex carrying CJ. She let go of his hand and took CJ from Rex, rex saw they wanted to be alone and he excused himself.

"I've got a few surprises for you" she told him and he looked at her all curious like. She put CJ down on the ground, on his feet, John just looked between Natalie and CJ.

"You ready Daddy?" she asked him, john nodded his head clueless to what he should be ready for but he nodded yes anyways.

Natalie let go of CJ's hand and he walked all the way across the room to John, to his father. John's mouth fell open as he saw him start to walk towards him, as soon as their boy made his way to the end of the bed; Natalie picked him up and put him on the bed with John.

"Oh, Buddy, that was great, when I'm out of this bed we can get started on teaching you to play football" he told CJ as the boy smiled back at John. John looked at Natalie who was in the chair again, she was all smiles, and he leaned in and kissed her.

"You said surprises, is there another surprise for me?' he asked as he smiled at her words.

'Yeah, seems CJ might not be the only one you get a chance to teach Football" she said and he had to think about it for a minute, a slow grin appeared on his face.

"Is that so, Huh?" he asked and she nodded her head.

"You know for sure?" he asked her and she shook no.

John didn't say a word; he pushed the button for the nurse, asked her to send his brother into the room.

They spoke no words as Natalie walked around the room chasing after a bored CJ; Michael came in a few minutes later.

"What's the matter John? Are you in pain?" he asked but saw John's face.

"No Mikey, can you give my wife a blood test? We think we're pregnant" he told him as he looked at Natalie, her smile matched his, bright and wide.


	32. Epilogue

**ABC owns them**

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**Epilogue**

"Hey Kenny, when did you sneak in?" Natalie asked the older gentlemen as she walked into the living room to see him. She went to him, kissed his cheek.

"A few minutes ago" he told her as he kissed her cheek back

"Here for the big game huh?" she asked him and he laughed

"Yup, got my invite, was told the McBains were playing the Thompson's for neighborhood bragging rights, and I knew I couldn't afford to miss this one," he said and they both laughed

'Oh, those neighborhood bragging rights alright" she said as they both walked over to the front window, they looked outside and smiled, there were children everywhere, and there was John in the middle of all of them.

Natalie smiled as she looked on to see John explaining something to CJ about throwing the football down the front yard to his eight-year-old younger brother TJ.

Natalie couldn't help but continue to smile. She could still remember the day John taught CJ how to play football, he was barely three and TJ was a little over one. She chuckled remembering all the padding he had bought the kid so he wouldn't get hurt, he even put TJ in the stroller along side them as they practiced ever day as if he could understand what they were saying with terms like fumble, QB, and interception.

Natalie was brought out of her thought as her six-year-old twin girls ran into the house crying.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she wiped away their tears with her hands.

"Daddy is being mean again, he says... he says there's no crying in Football and if we wanna cry we can't play" The twins Brandy and Bree told her as Natalie leaned down to there ears.

"You two go and tell daddy I said you both can play whether you cry or not and if he doesn't like it to come and see me, I'll show him where to put his football... I...I mean... tell him to see me" she said and she laughed, she wiped away the remains of there tears from their faces, and then they turned and watched them tell John to see her, he looked at her as he walked into the house for a moment. Kenny saw him coming in and he excused himself not wanting to get in the middle of this one.

"Honey, I can't have them crying and screwing up the game, I really wanna win this one, beat that know it all, my yard is nicer that yours Fred Thompson" he told her and she couldn't help but laugh

"John" was all she had to say

"I Know, I know, there children, this is all for fun, don't push them to hard, you're right, I just got carried away with myself, I love you" he said and she smiled, he kissed her cheek and started to walk out the door, looked at his watch and then walked back over towards her.

"Wasn't JJ's nap up a half hour ago, I really need him to run interference so we can win this one" he told her and she gave him a look. He kissed her quickly, saw she was a bit mad, but then she smiled at him.

"Just joking babe, just joking I'll use one of Michael's kids, there so dopey they haven't a clue what they are doing" she laughed as he ran outside to play the game with the whole neighborhood watching. He called back out to her.

"Are ya gonna come help us kick some butt or what?" he asked her and she smiled

'Yeah, let me get the four year old from his nap" she told him as he ran onto the lawn and started lining up the kids to play, she shook her head, he was so damn sexy with all those kids, still after all these years.


End file.
